ArtFriend

Thanks Serenidad. There are many many stories of struggling and despair on this forum, as well as hope. My post title should have clued you in that it was not the latter. Don't read postings that will trigger and/or upset you. Usually you can tell by the post title. And I apologize for being short with you. I was angry with myself for drinking.

Serenidad

It's ok Artfriend. I understand what it feels like to be angry with yourself. I spent a long time like that. You're right, maybe I should have just skimmed past your post last night. To be honest, when I saw it was you...I read it because I care. I was angry at this f-ing disease and disappointed that it got its claws on you again. I really felt worried about you. Please know I have your best interest in mind. I want us BOTH to make it! I can't stand to see anyone one else die.

Together we can do this! (((Hug)))

ArtFriend

(((Serenidad)))

Thank you sweetie! I know you have lost a few people lately and that is scary. I am OK, really! And you are right, we can do this together!!

CAPTAINZING2000

Not to many people stumble onto this forum by accident.
Either you come on here because, your life or a loved ones life is going down the toilet from some sort of substance abuse.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Thomas A. Edison

A wise person learns from their mistakes

livingnow

I appreciate the honesty.
If we all posted brutally honest posts like Artfriend did "Im drinking" - the sites servers would overload!!!
What I mean is most of us quit , then drink - maybe go away for awisle(from here-ashamed)then come back and try again. - MAYBE post about it.
Few will post a relapse - I see that as courage.
Bravo Art

Serenidad

We CAN and we WILL!!! :-)

Axiom

I'm sorry you struggled last night Artfriend. New years eve was a tough one. I am so glad you are back on here and posting today. I think it's good for newbies(myself included) to hear that you may slip or fall but that doesn't mean you give up.
I always enjoy reading your posts. Hopefully this year is a bit less bumpy for you. If it isn't, ride those numbs and stick with us.
I'm rooting for you, me all of us.
Big hugs! Go out there and spoil yourself today. Hey it's 2015 and you're sober.

Hevyn

AF, This happened to me a few times early on. I guess I needed further proof that it was no longer fun, relaxing, or exciting. It just left me feeling empty, and I needed to acknowledge that truth. Not everyone needs to stumble a few times - and that's great - but I did. It made me stronger and more determined to stop all together. (I'm looking at 7 yrs. soon.) I was absolutely serious about quitting when I first joined SR - I didn't take it lightly, and never meant to disrespect anyone else's efforts. I'm quite sure that wasn't your intent. On to the next phase - in which you will rise above this and have a better life.

DuhDave

"We strive for progress...not perfection".- AA big book

DD

awuh1

I must respectfully disagree.


There has been allot related to these two threads which I could respond to, but let me just respond to the importance of "knowing the reasons why".


I found it very helpfull to know the reasons why. In the beginning, I realized that sometimes I drank to celebrate and/or socialize. Sometimes it was to cope with stress, depression, anxiety and fear, or any of a host of other emotions. Sometimes I drank to escape, sometimes to forget, and sometimes because I was hungover. In the end I drank because I was awake, and because failing to do so brought on withdrawls. Worst of all was drinking in responce to the F*CKits, and its hallmark, the total absence of care for anything and anyone.


I had to look at it all and ask myself, what I would do differenly in the future when these same situations presented themselves. I needed much help in sorting this out. I found deeper causes for my drinking than I imagined initially. I also found solutions that, on my own, I never would have dreamt of.


Knowing the reasons (or at least the conditions) which were involved in picking up a drink may not be sufficent to prevent you from doing so in the future, but it's often a good place to begin.


Don't leave any stone unturned. Most of us needed to "get down to causes and conditions", as well as have a plan for them.

Dee74

Awuh made the point I wanted to make

I kinda felt like you were standing there, waiting for punishment or hugs, whichever came first.

Personally, I'm not really good at either of those two things, AF

I know a bit about recovery tho

I want to hear the litany of reasons.
I want you to talk about them with us, make plans, figure out solutions...
I not only want you to get better - I want you to want to get better AF.

SR is a great tool - but ya gotta use it.

D

SoberD

For what it's worth, these reccuring relapse threads actually seem to strengthen my resolve not to have one myself. To hear someone say, "I'm drinking and it's no big deal" and the next day post "I'm so angry at myself for drinking" just reaffirms what I already know - that I want to be consistently and successfully sober...