decided not to throw in the towel
 

I have achieved 10 months of sobriety, but in the last month have faced two significant blows that are rocking me to the core. On Sunday, I called my sponsor to tell her I was done. I was so hurt and full of anger, all I wanted to do was drink and go back down in that hole forever. The alternative was just too much - forgive, let go of the resentments trust God, give up control, etc. I wanted none of that. Thankfully, I did not drink and realized that sobriety is the only option for me. I feel like my reliance upon this program and god of my understanding, as well as humility and willingness, has grown through all of this. I am so glad I did not drink and can continue on this journey. I don't ever want to go through the first 10 months of all this again!

Hi Madison, you got back up from the stumble pretty quickly. You can do this.

Hi Madison, have you called her back?

Good for you, very inspiring. No, you never have to go through the nightmare of a drunk again. One day at a time of not taking that first drink.
Believe in your Higher Power and you shall reap the rewards of sobriety.

" I don't ever want to go through the first 10 months of all this again!"

Hi.
This is a period of having a grateful pause, because there is no guarantee any of us have another recovery. I don’t feel I do as the chances of getting back into sober living are slim after a relapse. I won’t live in that misery again, more power to those who thing they can.
A thought given me many years ago is so on target. “ if we don’t pick up the first drink we won’t have to TRY to get sober AGAIN.”

BE WELL

Yes, we are back on track

Madison you are awesome well done on 10 months

Madison, that must have been tough, good for you, glad you're still sober :grouphug:

My daughter's death rocked me to the core to. I gave it my best shot to think of a reason why drinking would help me. Each scenario I came up with led me to the same place. Drinking would only make a bad situation worse.

No one ever said sobriety was all unicorns and rainbows, so if drinking is not the solution I better figure out what is. For me it was getting professional help connecting with my higher power and reaching out to those who care about me.

I'm not always sure about what the solution is but I know darn well what it isn't

Glad you are still with us, Madison; well done.