Needing to change, but lacking support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Springville
Posts: 1
Needing to change, but lacking support
Hi, I'm new here.
I really want to leave alcohol behind but I feel so alone. I'm sure that's common. I know I should talk to someone close to me about it, but I'm having trouble figuring out who that should be.
Talking to my family is tricky. If I talk to the wrong person, then everyone will know, ready or not. I can't go to my mother because she is very judgemental. I already know what she is going to say. My husband doesn't know what to do to help me.
To be honest, I feel like I need to quit, but I haven't reached the point where I really, really want to. I just struggle with cravings so much. I will go several weeks without a single drink, but then stress hits and it's all I can think about. Sometimes, just turning on the tv is a trigger because every show on tv has someone drinking.
I'm not putting away huge amounts of alcohol every day. I usually drink just enough to get good and buzzed, several days in a row, once a month. I'm not really concerned with the quantity, as I'm not going crazy. But I am concerned with my motivation. I have poor coping skills that come from a less than ideal childhood.
Who am I supposed to confide in, if I can't confide in my own family?
I really want to leave alcohol behind but I feel so alone. I'm sure that's common. I know I should talk to someone close to me about it, but I'm having trouble figuring out who that should be.
Talking to my family is tricky. If I talk to the wrong person, then everyone will know, ready or not. I can't go to my mother because she is very judgemental. I already know what she is going to say. My husband doesn't know what to do to help me.
To be honest, I feel like I need to quit, but I haven't reached the point where I really, really want to. I just struggle with cravings so much. I will go several weeks without a single drink, but then stress hits and it's all I can think about. Sometimes, just turning on the tv is a trigger because every show on tv has someone drinking.
I'm not putting away huge amounts of alcohol every day. I usually drink just enough to get good and buzzed, several days in a row, once a month. I'm not really concerned with the quantity, as I'm not going crazy. But I am concerned with my motivation. I have poor coping skills that come from a less than ideal childhood.
Who am I supposed to confide in, if I can't confide in my own family?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi Mama - you'll find a lot of people to talk to her, and a lot of support.
I honestly don;t think you need to wait until you really really want to quit - your inner addict is probably poushing that line pretty hard, but it's nonsense.
You don't have to crawl away from a burning wreck as your bottom - your bottom can be as simple as saying 'I have had enough of this'.
Come and read and post here when the cravings hit
D
I honestly don;t think you need to wait until you really really want to quit - your inner addict is probably poushing that line pretty hard, but it's nonsense.
You don't have to crawl away from a burning wreck as your bottom - your bottom can be as simple as saying 'I have had enough of this'.
Come and read and post here when the cravings hit
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
Welcome to SR. This is a good place to hang out. There is a lot of advice, support and we have fun, too. I find that just being part of this community helps even when I'm not logged in.
My husband didn't know what to do either. But we talked about it a lot at first, and he pretty much followed my lead on what I needed. . .even when I didn't know what it was I needed. LOL! He'd take me for drives to distract me, watch a movie with me. I had a few false starts but he took all of that in stride, and continued to support me the best he could. Other than him, I don't discuss it with many people. On SR I've been able to be totally honest and open without judgment.
Stick around.
My husband didn't know what to do either. But we talked about it a lot at first, and he pretty much followed my lead on what I needed. . .even when I didn't know what it was I needed. LOL! He'd take me for drives to distract me, watch a movie with me. I had a few false starts but he took all of that in stride, and continued to support me the best he could. Other than him, I don't discuss it with many people. On SR I've been able to be totally honest and open without judgment.
Stick around.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Mama04 welcome to SR
for me to stop drinking long term i accepted i cant drink safely or responsibly
im really glad you found us as youl find tons of support
you can read & print this off http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Nice to meet you, good luck
for me to stop drinking long term i accepted i cant drink safely or responsibly
im really glad you found us as youl find tons of support
you can read & print this off http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Nice to meet you, good luck
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
May I suggest that, when you're feeling alone and questioning where you're at, it might help to go here: Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information and read? Maybe you can avoid the bottoms some there reached and see their progression to them.
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
I found myself in a similar spot as you before I came here. Alone and not sure who to talk to. But that changed when I joined this website. It is a very supportive place. The more you check in the better, I find.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 10
I think the fact that you are here is all the confirmation you need that you need to quit. I've found in my attempts at recovery that the only people you really can confide in are people that are in AA or groups such as this.
People who don't recognize their own addiction or who aren't addicted can't imagine what you are going through so they can't relate. Just reading the threads here has helped me tremendously even if only for the short time I have been a member.
People who don't recognize their own addiction or who aren't addicted can't imagine what you are going through so they can't relate. Just reading the threads here has helped me tremendously even if only for the short time I have been a member.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
I don't think you 'have' to wait to stop until you have the right person to speak to. I had no one that I could trust to share with when I stopped drinking and my husband had no interest in listening to me at that time either. In a way it was good, because it made me step up and make the decision to stop for myself and to just do it.
That said, there is a lot of support here and we do understand how hard it is. But, if you're not sure at this point, it will be very hard for you. I hope you make the right choice.
That said, there is a lot of support here and we do understand how hard it is. But, if you're not sure at this point, it will be very hard for you. I hope you make the right choice.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
I don't think you 'have' to wait to stop until you have the right person to speak to. I had no one that I could trust to share with when I stopped drinking and my husband had no interest in listening to me at that time either. In a way it was good, because it made me step up and make the decision to stop for myself and to just do it.
That said, there is a lot of support here and we do understand how hard it is. But, if you're not sure at this point, it will be very hard for you. I hope you make the right choice.
That said, there is a lot of support here and we do understand how hard it is. But, if you're not sure at this point, it will be very hard for you. I hope you make the right choice.
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