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Old 12-29-2014, 07:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
 
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I can't do this


I just did, I put it back on the shelf and ran out of the store, now I'm safe but I'm breaking down because this is so hard it feels impossible. Yes, I did it, but I can't do it, it's too hard.
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:20 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Briar,
you did it.
it was hard.
and you did it.

when you can calm yourself a bit, think about what you can do so that you don't get to the place where you've got it in your hand. or are near that shelf.

what support can help before it gets this hard?

you did the next right thing.
awesome!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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wow Briar, you are going to be SO happy and proud of yourself, once you've had a chance to cool down. You've passed a very important test. Now you need to distract yourself quick.

Take five slow, mindful breaths, concentrating on your body as you do do. Never failed for me. Do it now, even if you don't think it will work.
Eat - right away
Do something physical - scrub the floors, set yourself a short immediate task

You will look back on this incident as the time where you could have failed or succeeded and you did it!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yep, Briar I am struggling too. I haven't left my house since yesterday because I am off work for the week and afraid I will do something stupid. I really don't do well this time of year. I have been keeping myself in a self imposed 'lockdown'. My friends/family all think that I'm doing something else but I am texting/phoning from my sofa, watching movies, and just relaxing. Can't wait until middle of January when all the parties and invitations stop. Hang in there my friend!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Briar View Post
I just did, I put it back on the shelf and ran out of the store, now I'm safe but I'm breaking down because this is so hard it feels impossible. Yes, I did it, but I can't do it, it's too hard.
Briar....you just did it! You just proved you could make the choice to not drink!
You are in control, briar! You are awesome and you are indeed proving just how determined you are.
Sending lots of hugs and support your way!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Briar, you did it. Yes, it's hard. Yes, you can do it. No, it is NOT impossible, even when you feel it is. Rough patches happen. Take a deep breath. Cry if you need to. I did, a few times. Sat there in my car and crying to myself that I couldn't do it. That I'd never be able to do it. It physically hurt sometimes but I made it through. It stinks in the beginning but it is worth it. Keep going. I was going to say "fight it" but fighting is exhausting. Surf it instead. Surf it out. I'm glad you came here.

But what fini said is true. What support do you have to help before it gets this hard? I started reaching out all the time, whether it was to simply say hi how was your day or an "I'm not drinking today, how are you doing?" It made things a lot easier. So I have a bunch of people I can talk to, vent to, ask questions of. An army of sober supporters in addition to coming here. You can do it. Hugs to you.
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Yes, it's hard, but you are doing it. It is not impossible, although it might feel that way sometimes.
Trust us...it gets easier.
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm really glad you put it back Briar.

If I can do this truly anyone can - use the support you have, and if you need more? find more.

If you need support with other issues, press on with that too.

You can stay sober and be happy. Let there be no doubt.

D
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
Behold the power of NO
 
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Yes you can. Many of us on SR and millions worldwide have done it!
The longer you refrain and stay sober, the easier it will get.
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Briar I am in the same place. I just keep thinking I cannot do this. A lot of times thinking there is something just too wrong with me, I can't do it. But you know buddy you did it. You should be so proud of yourself! It was a moment, and you conquered it!!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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From page 151 from the book of alcoholics anonymous

FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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start with positive thoughts. I CAN do this. I've been through bad hangovers, I've been through the wringer, I CAN do this. One more minute....and then focus on the task at hand or create something to occupy your mind.

You CAN do this!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:55 PM   #13 (permalink)
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You accomplished something tremendous, Briar.

For people like us, there's nothing good to be found in a bottle.

You can do this.
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Old 12-29-2014, 08:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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So proud of you. I imagine you have given strength to newcomers and guests reading this post as well.
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Old 12-29-2014, 08:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Briar, you're doing the right thing by posting and reading here at SoberRecovery. Don't say you can't do it because you ARE doing it!
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Old 12-29-2014, 08:54 PM   #16 (permalink)
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In your hand and you put it back! That's amazing strength, Briar. You did it.
And then you posted here. You're totally kicking that AV's tail! Don't quit fighting Hun.
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Old 12-29-2014, 09:04 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Way to go, Briar!! That is a huge accomplishment that YOU DID! I know it sometimes things feel and seem impossible, but that doesn't mean they are - you proved that to yourself just now.
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Old 12-29-2014, 09:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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In your hand and you put it back! That's amazing strength, Briar. You did it.
And then you posted here. You're totally kicking that AV's tail! Don't quit fighting Hun.
Exactly. And be proud of yourself.
And we love you!

V xx
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Old 12-29-2014, 10:08 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hugs, Briar. And I agree: you did do it! I ran out of the store once after picking up a bottle of wine. Looking back on it now, it was one of my proudest moments and a real turning point too in my sobriety journey. Do see how amazing you are for what you just did. You can do this!! xo
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Old 12-29-2014, 10:41 PM   #20 (permalink)
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And something a little off topic....I watch a lot of movies and US TV in general. So I am up-to-date. Last night I was watching Ascension...and you get to see the reaction of someone who hasn't been in a store before. A convenience store, come drug store, and then wait...aisles of alcohol. Aisles of it. I felt like he did: shocked.

We don't have that here in Australia. Although we are some of the biggest drinkers in the world, alcohol is still relegated to certain stores.

So this is a hard task at this time of year for Americans in sobriety. Everything is supposed to go with alcohol.

So saying no to the vodka and the wine and whatever it may be is a huge plus.
Just getting out of the supermarket and leaving the wine on the shelf is a massive achievement.

And we can keep saying no as long as we do what Briar did tonight, and that's to shout out. This stuff is hard. But we can help each other to get through it.
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