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New Years Eve - Help!! How do I stay sober!?

Old 12-29-2014, 07:36 AM
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I think the sparkles are about to give me a seizure
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:42 AM
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LOL Tonks, those firework things kill me!

I think staying in with pizza, junk food, and movies sounds awesome! However, I've always considered NYE to be overrated, overpriced, and crowded, so maybe I'm not the right person to answer your question.
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:49 AM
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Even when I was a drunk, I was never a big partier on NYE. I see it as a very spiritual time. A local Unity church does this beautiful ceremony where you write down all of the things/event/people that no longer have usefulness in your life on a piece of paper. You thank and bless these items/people on your list for the lessons that they provided in your life and you throw the list into a bonfire. You then write a list of all of the new things that you want in your life for the new year and the things that you want to keep sacred in your life. You put that list in an envelope that you will open and consider at NYE the following year or at a crisis point during the year when you feel that you need peace and direction.

I am a sparkly, girly girl myself. I am 15 months sober. I can tell you that it will reach a time for you that you will be able to attend those sparkly events and happily enjoy some sparkling grape juice, knowing that you will stay pretty and sparkly all night long, when all of the drunk girls quickly and sloppily fizz out!!!
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Old 12-29-2014, 07:56 AM
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I hear you on the glittery dressing up fun part. Is it possible to do both ? Can you go to the party for a little bit, and then leave before the drunks get all slobbery and kiss - y? Then head home, safe in the knowledge that you are sober starting the new year. Or , I know the aa chapter around here is having a New Years dance , and I imagine that wil be full of glitz and glitter. I hope there is one around you as well, and I know that within 2 mins of walking in you will have an armful of new friends to dance with , sober if you decide to do the 1st party, I am happy to be your text friend - you can let me know how it's going and I can keep you away from the booze
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Old 12-29-2014, 08:12 AM
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I would skip the party.

Be honest with yourself.-do you really believe you will go to the party, enjoy it and stay sober? I know I couldn't and wouldn't want to in early sobriety.

The best thing about New Year for me is waking up sober on NY Day. Nothing beats that.
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Old 12-30-2014, 04:04 PM
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Thank you everyone for the comments so far!!
Yesterday I talked to my therapist for a long while and I decided that yes, for sure I shouldn't go to the party. I'm still afraid I might be convince somehow, but nope... I want to stay home. I am going to do my best to have an enjoyable night in.

I still haven't decided if I should watch any countdown at midnight, or go the other route and do a quiet, spiritual thing at that time. At the winter solstice I sat outside in the snow and I went through the last year, my intentions for the coming year, meditated a bit, prayed, etc. I could do something very spiritual and meaningful this year.

But the time leading up to that, I will have as much fun as possible. I have to remember that if I stay home, it won't be a big glitzy party and if I'm trying to recreate that at home, I might be disappointed. But, it can still be enjoyable! And I can still wear sparkles...

But about the countdown at midnight. I do miss the fun of it all, but, watching it online or on TV... perhaps it will make me feel so depressed? Like I am outside looking in? I don't know. Hmmm....
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Old 12-30-2014, 04:16 PM
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I'm going to church. Than, I'm gonna go home an binge watch Gotham. Staying away from all the partying, because I KNOW what will happen at the end.
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Old 12-30-2014, 04:22 PM
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I still dont have plans but il be sober in an enviroment that isnt dominated by drink

I will enjoy the new year sober Lucrezia il enjoy it too

just because we dont get drunk isnt a reason to not to enjoy it ?
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Old 12-30-2014, 04:29 PM
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I spent last NYE in a rehab. This year I will be in the comfort of my own home watching a movie or the 3-stooges.

Safe at home is where I spent many a NYE - this time without the booze.
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Old 12-30-2014, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Lucrezia View Post
I'm so scared!!!

I haven't been sober on new years since I was 15.

What I love most about new years eve parties is this - dressing up all sparkly and fun, getting out to where there are people, lots of great music, sparkly lights, perhaps snacks, excitement... and did I say sparklies!? Glitter, shimmer, all of that... MY FAVOURITE. Everything is just so exciting.



And yes, I absolutely loved the anticipation of going to the store and getting all the fun kinds of booze. Getting totally drunk and all that. But thankfully, I love more about new years than just that. HOWEVER. All of those other things I love seem to be fused together with the drinking...

So my main problem this year is, what do I do!?!??

Quick backstory ~ I have social anxiety (and some general anxiety too). I have been working on myself a lot this year. But, I have been quite isolated lately. I have hardly any friends. I cut out some very toxic and abusive people, and only made one real friend since then, and all the other acquaintances and friends have been more distanced... I have been avoiding like all the gatherings that my maybe sorta friends/acquaintances/possible friends have been putting on. Because there is always alcohol there, even if it's not a get super drunk party. It's always there.

I was going to be at home on new years - completely alone - because I can't seem to find any sober thing to do. Like I said, I don't have many close friends right now.... only one, really, and they are a lot older and will probably be spending the night in with their spouse (or who knows, maybe they are going out somewhere fancy) and I'm just like... what do I do?!

So I was going to be home on new years. Order myself a pizza, eat all the things I want and drink all the non-alcoholic things I want and watch movies and listen to music or....something... but this just sounds depressing that I'm scared I might just go to the liquor stash (shared housing - not my booze, but a free for anyone thing) and just drink.

Or, I was just thinking, it would do my soul a lot of good to be around people. To actually get out, have fun, do all the music, food, people, SPARKLY GLITTER and stuff that I wanted to do and that I love so much about new years. But I would have to be at this party and just not drink. It just seems so risky, since I am nearing that mark of sobriety that I usually don't pass (just over a month... not long at all!!!) so it could be dangerous.

But also, I am so lonely lately and not getting out - that is eating at me too.

WHAT DO I DO?!?

I feel too scared to ask this older friend what they are doing... and I still don't know them that well... well I do, and I don't.

Do I~

1. Go to the party?

2. Stay home by myself?

3. ....something else? Do you have any ideas??


Don't drink.

Bunnez
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Old 12-30-2014, 06:57 PM
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There will be people here at SR if you want to check in anytime on NYE.
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Old 12-31-2014, 04:11 AM
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Hi everyone, I myself am battling the same dilemma. To make matters worse, I am based in central London, so there is going to be partying all around me! To be clear, I am not sober just yet, but I am in the middle of deciding when to commit to becoming completely sober.

I suffered a really bad hangover yesterday, and spent a lot of money on alcohol two nights ago, and I figure, hell, maybe I will just stay in tonight and celebrate new years with my parents. As long as you have someone to be with, family or friends that's a good thing.

Despite the fact that part of me feels like a 'loser' for not following the crowd and partying tonight, I know deep down that it will be healthy to change the same old broken tape and actually wake up january the first without a hangover and feeling positive for the new year!

Good luck for all those sober already and those like me who are planning to become sober.
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Old 12-31-2014, 04:46 AM
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Hi Lucrezia.

I think you've made a good decision given that you had doubts and fears regarding going out tonight. Don't think you'll regret it beyond perhaps some fleeting moments of nostalgia... And there will be plenty of other days in the future when you can do interesting things more safely. If you asked me, based on your descriptions, I would rather go for the "quiet, spiritual thing" around midnight if you feel inspired for some kind of ritual. If you are doing NYE differently, then let it be really different, unique, and memorable this time!

I've personally never been a big party animal beyond my teens, but I do enjoy going to interesting events -- something I really did not do much during the last couple years of my heavy drinking. I have a relatively new bf who is an artist and is very embedded in the arts world in NYC, imagine what they plan to do tonight... big fancy party. He rarely drinks, but occasionally does enjoy it and I would never want to interfere with that. The party they are organizing for this NYE starts in the afternoon with an exhibition and there will be art performances during the night. So I've decided to attend the afternoon/early evening part. Then I'll come home, change, and go to watch a movie in a theater that's in walking distance from my place, and the film will run through midnight, so no counting with crowds etc Then just come home and go to bed.

I hope you will have a pleasant night -- remember that NYE is really nothing else but a fleeting moment in the grand scheme, and by doing it differently in order to protect your sobriety, you create chances for yourself to experience probably yet unknown "sparkles" in the future

Happy New Year!
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Old 12-31-2014, 04:35 PM
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Thank you so much.... well, so far, I am at home and just starting out the evening with delicious food and good non-alcoholic things to drink and Netflix!Oh, and I have already played a ton of awesome music earlier. It's still fairly early here since people are not even going out to parties yet... but I'm all set. Not going out. It's so cold, too!! Another good reason to stay in. So....so far things are ok. I hope the night plays out well!!

This is kinda cool!! I bought new pajamas and put on tons of sparkles anyway. I bought a bunch of other treats that are non-edible, too. I figure hey, treat yourself, this money could have been spent on booze.... on drinking the night away in a foggy haze and waking up new years day hungover and feeling like hell. So....this is better! I will remember what I am doing!! And feel great tomorrow!
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Old 12-31-2014, 05:21 PM
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So happy for you!!!
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Old 12-31-2014, 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Lucrezia View Post
Thank you so much.... well, so far, I am at home and just starting out the evening with delicious food and good non-alcoholic things to drink and Netflix!Oh, and I have already played a ton of awesome music earlier. It's still fairly early here since people are not even going out to parties yet... but I'm all set. Not going out. It's so cold, too!! Another good reason to stay in. So....so far things are ok. I hope the night plays out well!!

This is kinda cool!! I bought new pajamas and put on tons of sparkles anyway. I bought a bunch of other treats that are non-edible, too. I figure hey, treat yourself, this money could have been spent on booze.... on drinking the night away in a foggy haze and waking up new years day hungover and feeling like hell. So....this is better! I will remember what I am doing!! And feel great tomorrow!
Excellent choice !
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Old 01-01-2015, 09:31 AM
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I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I had an amazing sober new years. The first since I was about 15! And guess what - I actually really enjoyed myself! Perhaps more than if I were drinking... usually I'd be at a party and drunk and at some points, even though I was drunk, I would still feel alone even with all those people around me. I mean it's usually dark, and everyone's drinking and laughing and talking and sometimes it would be just me wandering (staggering?) from room to room and not even truly conversing. Just me and my drunk aloneness... the countdown would be so epic, but I'd always have a pang of loneliness at that point. Sure, sometimes I might get a new years kiss but it'd usually be with another lonely drunk person who I'd never see again (or never have a romantic thing with, if were were already acquaintances or something)

I do know that if I had gone to the party last night, there would have been someone who liked me who would kiss me at midnight (plus the drunken texts at midnight helped to know this!! And previous info) but I wouldn't have wanted to really start anything with this person - I would have been leading them on in my drunkeness, and then have to explain things the next day (or the next week if I'm really avoidant) - yeah unfortunately this has happened before - I always seem more sober than I am so I guess I have lead people on this way..

But anyway!! This year none of that lonely drunk slobbery sad stuff happened!!! I had my own amazing, sparkly night. And there were actually three other people in my castle at midnight, and I did spend the countdown with them. Two of them were kind of old, lol, but the other one I had a blast with for the short time they were there.... we were acting giggly drunk but so were not (they were a DD that night) so........ after midnight I went back to my cave and enjoyed the rest of the night.

I really didn't feel bad at all!! What I'm trying to say is, I've had a happier new years than most other years where I had been drinking!!! I never thought that was possible - but it is!!

Now I'm drinking some delicious coffee, and my head is clear - just like it was last night - and I don't have to feel sick, miserable, worried/panicked about what happened last night, guilty, etc. I feel great!! Like I want to have some pancakes and sausage and go for a walk (if it's not too cold out!)

I think it did help that I was in a more positive headspace/my depression has lifted for the last few weeks... so I really was able to enjoy myself. But then if I think about it - if I was in a negative headspace/depressed before I drank, I would be a crying blubbering lonely idiot probably, if I drank, and I would drink even MORE so would feel even MORE sick and guilty today. Thank goodness that I am ok.


Ok so if anyone out there is worried about spending future new years or other things sober, know that it's possible to be sober and have a good time. I think what helped was me NOT trying to recreate a big new years party at home. I tried for some new traditions, while only keeping the elements of what I loved. I'm excited because next year I will try to add some more traditions into there. I can be as creative as I want!


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Old 01-01-2015, 09:39 AM
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! Happy New Year
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Old 01-01-2015, 09:39 AM
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well done lucrezia
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Old 01-01-2015, 10:23 AM
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Amazingly well done, Lucrezia! Very happy for you!

And happy new year
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