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Feeling alone in my situation...

Old 12-27-2014, 11:39 PM
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Feeling alone in my situation...

So, I have been slipping up a lot over the holidays. Trying to start new today. Not on the 1st but right now.

I've realized a bad trigger I have and it's a more rare one that is very difficult. I was just hoping someone else out there may be in or have had a similar situation. I know all triggers are similar to a point - that it makes us want a drink.

This is a weird one. here it goes:

A girl I dated for many years (high school mostly), is on TV. I am also in the business so it doesn't infatuate me to know she's on the screen. But I see her everywhere, literally! And so, basically, turning on the television ends up being a trigger for wanting a drink. I don't know if it's lingering feelings, or reminders of old feelings.

I don't want to be with her, I don't hate her, and when we run into each other, it is still friendly; but seeing anything about her makes me want to numb myself. Am I jealous? I in no way want to be on TV myself - I am an introvert, so it can't be because of that.

This is just a very tough trigger because I don't want to give up television to simply keep me from wanting a drink. I don't watch her particular programs, but even just flipping through channels, it can happen. It mostly happens during commercial breaks - which can be through any show I'm currently watching.

Just hoping someone out there can relate a little.
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Old 12-28-2014, 12:15 AM
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Welcome. If you know that is your trigger than god for you. I never knew what made me drink. I guess everything. Switch channels, use your DVR, watch a movie..something without commercials. If thats your only trigger than it should be easy to avoid.

Best wishes
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Old 12-28-2014, 12:30 AM
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I can relate.

My nemesis is on TV. To be honest, I am a little bitter about it, so when I see the adverts for the show it does stir up some negative feelings. I can call these feelings potential triggers.

But everything negative in my life can be a potential trigger. From financial worries to my car breaking down, they are all potential triggers, so I have to deal with them all in the same way.

I deal with triggers by remembering what alcohol did to me, and also by acknowledging what I have achieved since I have quit. I tell myself that if I succumb to cravings, I will rapidly lose all I have gained, and descend into the hell where I was living 6 months ago.

I do try to avoid the TV show in question, but if I see something about it, I try to focus on my own successes, and not dwell on the TV for too long.
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Old 12-28-2014, 03:23 AM
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If it's absolutely not possible for you not to watch TV for a while, then I reckon you have a great opportunity to learn to live with triggers and react differently here, CM

I drank all day everyday. My world was *full* of triggers.

I learn that it was ok to feel cravings or urges - I didn't have to give into them.

It was rough to start with, but I had support here, and in time they faded and lessened.

I learned thoughts are thoughts, desires are desires - it's how I reacted that counted.

Urge surfing was a great help to me - it might be useful to you too CM?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

D

Last edited by Dee74; 12-28-2014 at 04:14 AM.
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Old 12-28-2014, 04:45 AM
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Old 12-28-2014, 04:48 AM
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Hi.

For me I drank because I’m an alcoholic and come to terms with the fact I cannot drink in safety.

I wanted to drink more than I wanted to be sober until I felt the handwriting on the wall. That being some serious health issues beginning to happen.

As far as triggers are concerned, face them and just don’t drink. They will always be there unless we build an igloo at the north pole to avoid them, but they are still in our head.

My defense against drinking was to attend and be involved in a lot of meetings and following directions because my way was not working.

Many years later I still work the program and don’t regret one second of the rewarding work.
Life still happens but I still don’t drink.

BE WELL
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Old 12-28-2014, 05:34 AM
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Those visual triggers can be tricky. It took me a while to realize that my own son was a trigger for me as I am divorced and he looks and often acts like his father. Over time I began to realize what I've learned through the divorce and how I can positively apply that to my current life. Maybe instead of focusing on the negative with the girlfriend you can focus on the positive...what you have learned from the relationship.
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Old 12-28-2014, 05:55 AM
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i dont watch TV anymore, i gave up watching tv when i came to see how it would make me react, if i watched the news and seen something i didnt like i would go off like a bottle of pop and heaven help anyone who was near me as they would get my opinions of it all for ages as if i knew what the answers were and everyone should stop the world and listen to me

if i watched a show like Jeremy kylie over here in the uk that shows couples with all sorts of problems and ends up like a slanging match i would be there saying things like that women is just like my ex and off i would go again bringing up all bad things that my ex ever done

and this is entertainment ? lol

so it was suggested to me that maybe if i didnt watch these things on tv and i instead did something else with my time that i might find a bit of peace instead of chaos

so i gave up tv and it worked i dont even read news papers anymore, i watch videos or films or interesting stuff like documentaries etc

but i am to busy these days to spend hours in front of a tv screen so maybe giving up the tv might help you to ?
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