Ali2013

I had the same thought. Huh? I would dismiss that reply. Carry on. Stay sober.

Anna

AF, you know, it seems like it would be a good fit for you to do some kind of volunteer work with homeless people. I volunteered at a Drop-in Centre for Women living in the streets for about 7 or 8 years. It was unquestionably, one of the best experiences of my life. Ironically I started out thinking that I had something to offer these women, but quickly learned that they gave me far more than I could ever have given to them.

Marcher13

AF that man's face would have haunted me too, your AV knows that this sort of thing haunts and upsets you so that's why AV started. It might be worth thinking about what you would like to do -- instead of drinking -- when your sensitivity is piqued like this.

Rewind the video AF. The last time you drank was Thanksgiving, a month later at Christmas you drank. Think about both the occasions, was it because others were drinking you decided to join in? Was there another reason?

You don't have to publicly announce why you are not drinking but I find it a very good idea to announce that I am not drinking.

If I said nothing and got left with tap water or orange juice there is a very good chance I might drink in situations like the ones you describe. So I decide what I'm going to drink (that I'll enjoy) and I make sure it's to hand, I announce (if necessary) that I'm not drinking and then I get on with the event. It helps me not to get into conversations about why I am not drinking other than "I feel so much better without it" and then change the subject.

Being prepared means anticipating the situations that trigger us and deciding in advance what to do.

least

It took me many tries, but I now have five years sober. So don't give up!

strategery

I am glad you are back Artfriend and hope you can use it as a learning experience as to how to handle the same situation next time.

I am not sure if my approach is realistic, but I have avoided any kind of situation that might trigger me since my sobriety is very important to me. My sobriety comes first right now, which means I have certain boundaries in terms of people in my home, I have an exit plan, and I avoid situations where I know I'd be likely to drink.

I'd love more than anything to go to this country music bar right now and watch people dance, but I know how that would end, so I don't go.

MsJax

How are you feeling ArtFriend? There is so much good advice on this thread. I agree with with Hawk said, about it being build-up of little things. For me, I've gotta stay vigilant~everyday my life has to to support sobriety. Back in 2006 I relapsed after over 6 years of sobriety (resulting in a 4+ year bender). That cannot happen again or I'll die.

I also think what strategery said is critical. In the first year or so of sobriety you just can't be around the situations that might trigger, or involve booze.

I hope you are doing ok, starting over, and renewing your commitment

ArtFriend

Agreed, however, you cannot avoid everything that triggers. Like Xmas, friends, homeless people, dating, TV, whatever!! frustrating

Nuudawn

I share the "build up" opinion. For me, the relapse has always started long before the final "triggering" event. My thoughts are starting to slip down the slippery slope...like I'm losing wind behind my sober sails.

Ultimately, do we want to be a drinker or a non drinker? For me, I have to figure out how to notice and stop the slide as soon as my footing gets unsure.

You can overcome this AF.

ArtFriend

double post

fini

And I have to pick up and move on. But..in going forward, I need to be ready for inadvertent events like this one. How do you prepare?

sorry to hear this, ArtFriend.

how do you prepare for inadvertent events? you can't. there are too many that can and do randomly happen.

what you CAN do is learn other things to do when an event upsets you.
things like: talking to a friend. writing about it in a journal. doing something for someone else. having a bath. doing some stretches. breathing. crying.

all kinds of stuff.

you can learn to deal with your reactions to inadvertent events.

fini

oops. should have read other people's replies before posting. all been covered already

Serenidad

Keep trying AF. Don't EVER give up! To give up is to die. The world needs more people like you...we don't want this disease to steal you away from us.

jryan19982

Small victory in stopping. In no way shape or form would I have stopped until I drank all thr alcohol and could not get more or passed out. I just cant say when...

jryan19982

Small victory in stopping. In no way shape or form would I have stopped until I drank all thr alcohol and could not get more or passed out. I just cant say when...

melki

I actually liked it, the simplicity of it. Our AV often tries to fool us that it's much more complicated.

Good for you for stopping right away and not going on a binge. Lots of good suggestions here. Keep going! Alcohol never makes anything better.

Mags1

Hi Arty, oh gosh, I had triggers like that when I was drinking and didn't even realise. My brother died when he was 12 and I was 10 but I still can flip back to that day when I let him die in hospital, or my young mind thought that. From that moment on anything which reminded me of Alfie triggered booze when I was drinking.

I have learnt to use the tools which I have been given by our friends here and yes, wanting drink rears its ugly head, but with tools and experience and time you can get a handle on this. I recall once it being said that you have to do something at least 300 times for it to become normal.

You're doing great, Arty.x

Tonymblue

That man might have been a sign for you.

wpainterw

I have no claim to special insight but I suspect that, since you are an art lover you have great sensitivity, you looked at that man and his dog with an artist's eye and you were moved by him. I so much admire you for that. You had compassion and, could it be, a slumbering sense of guilt, a sense that you would like to help that man and his dog in some way. Then your ever watchful addictive voice within, always alert to any perceived weakness, any opening, used that to induce you to self medicate. Which may indicate that you, gifted with sensibility and compassion, might consider taking special precautions. So that you may do what you do best- help others . Every good wish and admiration for you.

W.

Txdude229

It takes an amazing person to admit their slips. Be still, regroup, and continue forward...you're not alone

mecanix

Keep £10 or £20 / $10 or $20 in your pocket . Give it to the person and ask how they are whats their story next time maybe ?

I was walking along Deal sea front and an old drunk came over to me , maybe 15 years older than myself … lived under the pier apparently … i gave him half of what was in my wallet .
He certainly wasn't going to go to rehab or detox at 4 pm on a sunday there and when you get the shakes its horrible .

Some will probably shoot me down in flames say i should have done this or that … They weren't there and it's easy to tell other people what they should or shouldn't be doing ..

I'm sure the guy got by , maybe give thanks for the chance of sobriety you've got in front of you, someone else might be further down their own hole and unable to function in the society that we find ourselves in ..

keep on , m