angd1978

Hello all,

This is my first post and I have 35 days sober today! The first time in about 16 years! It has been an up and down emotional roller coaster, as I have gone No Contact with my mother, sis, and stepfather for the last 35 days as well. I made it through the holidays and don't really find myself wanting a drink too much, but I just feel like I don't have any joy right now. I had a great drama-free Christmas, but since then I feel myself kind of down. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I went to A.A. on my 29th day sober. I started seeing a therapist. No I don't have a sponsor, and I am not sure that I feel completely comfortable with A.A. because of my profession.

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR angd

Well done on 35 days sober youl find a ton of support here

You can read & print these links they are very usefulhttp://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-31-a.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-9.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Really nice to meet you

Mark1014

Congratulations on your 35 days! I think a bit of melancholy just comes with the territory, perhaps even more so right after a major holiday etc.. Sounds like your being proactive though. Reading and posting here helps me more than anything at this stage. Best wishes and hang in there through the New Years festivities.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, angd, and congratulationson 35 days.

Suzieq17

Congrats on your sobriety!! We are all here for you. I find that when I am down, I love a good comedy. Rent one and laugh!

angd1978

Thank you all!! I could really use the support. I can't seem to drag myself out of bed to do anything today, much less go to a meeting. I guess I will go when I feel the need to. Two of my good friends have about 10 years sober between them, and they swear it is the only way I can do it. I really don't like being told what to do and I feel like all of the things that I am doing are helping me to achieve sobriety. I pray, go to therapy, meditate, go to church, read up on my illness, chat with people who have been through it.... I just don't feel like the whole 90 meetings in 90 days is what is going to work for me. Am I setting myself up for failure? Trying to fool myself?

Mark1014

angd1978, it may not be for everyone, but I find that my daily time at the gym is a life saver. Sometimes I have to make myself go, but almost always feel better after hitting the weights. Some kind of natural mood booster that lasts for a while and is good for you too.

neferkamichael

Angd1978, 35 days today is FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya.

Mark1014

angd1978,

SR has been my only outside support. I am absolutely supportive of AA but have not used it. Because of my profession I am pretty well known in my community and with social media etc. I could never feel comfortable attending local meetings. Whether justified or not that's how I feel. People that don't understand the issue may make assumptions about me that could impact my career. Meetings outside my area may be a possibility for me if I feel myself slipping, but logistics and timing would be a limiting factor. My sibling has been sober for 20 years and used private counseling as her only outside support. Having said that, if my situation was different I'd probably consider AA as one of my sobriety tools.

Dee74

Welcome and congratulations on your sober time angd

D

Dee74

Welcome and congratulations on your sober time angd

D

Lasha

Congratulations on 35 days after 16 years! You know that there has to be an end sooner or later. You've already gone through 35 days of torture, don't mess up and make yourself start all over again! It will only be a temporary relief. I am new to the forum as well, and my addition is opiates. 3 days clean today, and feeling like you, bored and depressed. It will take time to undo the damage we have done. I have found this site to be very helpful. Everyone is very encouraging. I too risk my profession by coming out. I have hid my addiction and now have to hide my recovery, making everything appear A OK. Good luck to you. Post often. It will keep you motivated.

melki

I would trust your gut on what will work for you. As long as you're aware and mindful of your problem with alcohol, work on your recovery, and don't ever get complacent.

lulukat

Congratulations!! We used alot of time and 'numbed' emotions with drinking -- and I have been told to allow my brain and body 'readjust' without the alcohol. I was very reluctant to go to AA but tried to keep an open mind and at first it was just a way to pass time and NOT drink. And, I had to simply concentrate on listening to people's stories instead of looking at how different they were than me. I still have a good job AND in a public profession, have a home, etc.. BUT I'm just like everyone else here and in those rooms-I recognize that I cannot drink like others can and I do not want to destroy myself. AND I want to learn how to thrive without alcohol. Congrats again. This has been a great place to check-in , get some info and remind myself that many of us are working on improving and/or saving our lives. Take care and keep sharing. Hugs,

angd1978

Thanks for the warm welcome and all of the great advice! I guess I will keep doing what I am doing and keep praying that it continues to get better. I really haven't had the energy to get up and exercise on the treadmill and I have been meaning to change up my diet to become more healthy on the whole. I guess I just got caught up in some "stinking thinking" yesterday, feeling like I am all alone besides a two good friends, my son,, brother, SIL, and dog. I felt like, "Why should I be all alone, when I am making so much progress... this isn't what I wanted". I have been off for a week and have another one off to make some more progress. I think I got through the first 3 weeks by actually working really hard at my job and loving the feeling of not having a hangover. Now, I have had so much time on my hands to think about severing toxic ties with my mom and also trying to put a on/off relationship of 4 years behind me. He is a good friend and says he loves me, but he has a gf right now and I placed myself back into his life as more than just a friend when my grandfather was dying in November. I know that he has a good heart and would do anything for me, but he is not good for my psyche. I can't be someone's option. That is not fair to my recovery, me, or any of the positive changes I am trying to make. I guess I just didn't want to be alone.. so we kind of ended up back together on the side. I ended it, but I am still sad. Day 36! I guess things will get better when they are ready to get better. Someone told me that you have to allow yourself to be sad and angry for as long as it takes to not be sad and angry anymore. I guess one day I will wake up and not feel completely consumed by these feelings. Thanks for the outlet to talk and the support!

Soberwolf

Well done on 36 days sober angd

SoberLeigh

Congratulations on 36 days, angd. Stay focused; things will get better and better, in time.

PurpleKnight

36 Days is fantastic!!

Jsbodhi

Well done on 36 days!!!

LovesToLaugh

Hugs and a pat on the back to you both. I came here looking for encouragement just like you're sharing. Thanks for telling your stories.