I've been battling this for years
 

I've never really talked to other alcoholics about what it's like. If I have than I was either drunk or that memory has been erased by this stuff. I'm only 28 years old and I am absolutely burned out. I've checked into rehab two times in my life. The second time I checked myself in, I did it because I met an amazing woman and I wanted to make her my wife and I knew I couldn't do this anymore. When I checked in they told me they had never seen anyone check in that drank as much as I did (I was drinking roughly about 2 gallons of whiskey a week and I'm a small 140 lbs). I did this for 4 years religiously and still functioning as a business man. When I got married at the age of 25 I had been sober for 6 months since I went to rehab immediately after I proposed. 2 months after our wedding my best man and childhood best friend died in a accident and it drove me over the edge. I got drunk on beer when I got home and it didn't take much. I've been a mess ever since. For the past 2 years I've been drinking heavily on hard liquor and moonshine. My body can't handle it anymore. I feel my liver and kidneys in pain when I'm sober. It doesn't take nearly as much to get drunk anymore but I'm scared. I shake if I don't have fresh booze in my stomach, my brain shorts out, I've had 4 seizures this year (I've never had one before) that I believe to be from this abuse. I still somehow remain working as a self employed individual. My wife got sick of me hiding alcohol around the house. In several cases I've managed to go several days without it but she always finds a bottle I hid and forgot about when I was drinking and she gets mad and leaves. It's been a long road and I'm sick of it. She's been living at her sister's house for a month now. She came home when I was at work last night and went looking through the house and found a bottle I hid last week. I couldn't find it and I went sober for 5 days. So there's my story. My wife is going to divorce me if I don't get help. I've been to rehab 2 times. I can't afford it with the new health care reform. Does anybody have "at home advice"?

Markbeach, I was a drunk for about 42 years, now 4 years 5 months sober, so it can be done. Sounds like your beginning to have health problems because of alcohol so that's as good a reason as it gets to quit. Rootin for ya. :egypt:

I tapered at home 6 months ago and quit. I even journalled it here. I really wanted it and everything tends to coalesce at that point. I found this site (big help), then RR and AVRT in the Secular Forums (bigger help as it gave me the impetus to say FU to alcohol for good when I had reduced to the jump-off point and was stuck), and I interact here--hopefully in the helpful vein established here. I was drinking at least a fifth plus 3 high-grav 2x4's every day so I know about all those pains. Get your want-to up and get a plan together. You should let your doc know you want to stop. He may be able to help if you are serious. Keep us posted.

Hi.
I’m sorry it’s taken so long to address this issue. This is my opinion after being among alcoholics for a lot of years.

GET MEDICAL HELP in haste and be honest about what’s going on. Honesty about our drinking to ourselves is the first step in getting sober then accepting we cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.

You probably won’t like what might come next, perhaps a detox followed by a rehab period then a ½ way house for a period.

The alternative is a mental institution, jail and or death. This is very serious shite.

BE WELL

Welcome Markbeach :)

Have you read up on alcoholism, my friend ? You will find out what stage you are at if you do some research.

We're not allowed to give medical advice here, but I agree with the others when they say,

a. this is serious
b. See you doc.

Glad to have you with us ,and keep posting !

Markbeach, In light of the seizures you have have experienced, I would strongly suggest talking to your Dr. about detoxing. If you detox at home, can you have someone with you in case you need to go to the hospital?

You can do this.

Some great advice here Mark - how are you doing now?

D

Welcome to SR Mark

What can you replace the alcohol with? What else do you enjoy doing?