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The in-laws...

Old 12-26-2014, 01:47 PM
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The in-laws...

They're coming to spend the day on Saturday

Out of a sudden I'm feeling vulnerable, stressed out, anxious, angry.

Maybe it's all in my mind, but I feel like I'm going to be scrutinized, judged, criticized, and gossiped about while they're here and for the next 17 months after they leave...

I know it shouldn't bother me. It's my social anxiety creeping in. And my 0 self-esteem.

I don't want to drink, drinking won't solve anything. But I don't know how to survive the next 36 hours either...I just want to crawl in bed and hide.

ps I can't cancel. Plane tickets and everything are booked. No way out of this.
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Old 12-26-2014, 02:17 PM
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Patricia, are they just staying the one day? Deep Breaths! Maybe you can plan snacks and some entertainments? Do they like to play cards or board games? Are there some local scenaries they might like view? Take a can ride? If things get tense can you find an excuse to get out of the house? Run to the grocery store? Go comfort a friend?

It will be OK. you will get through it. having a plan helps.

Love from Lenina
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Old 12-26-2014, 02:24 PM
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Thank you Lenina. Deep breaths!
I would love to do something different this time, but they're set in their ways...all they enjoy doing is to sit with a cup of coffee and gossip...ugh
We are going out for dinner at night...but the rest of the time we'll stay at my place.
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Old 12-26-2014, 02:28 PM
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make yourself a safe place to go to if things get overwhelming Patricia - even if it's the bathroom.

Stay connected here best you can...and try to brush off any scrutiny or judgements - these are people you see infrequently, and their judgements need not affect you, if you decide they won't

D
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Old 12-26-2014, 02:29 PM
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You're right Dee! Thank you!
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Old 12-26-2014, 02:53 PM
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Rise above them and their gossip.
Just smile sweetly even if you are wanting to stab the lot of them!
I always find if I busy myself as the hostess, the time flies.
I always so no to any help in the kitchen then I can be on my own, having some peace and quiet.
Perhaps you could spend hours brewing their coffee and arranging biscuits and cakes.
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Old 12-26-2014, 03:07 PM
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Do you have photo albums? Those are always good for steering the conversation. You Hogg have time to compile one. Print out iPhone pics, etc. Can you ask them to bring their photos?

I have a huge in law family wedding to attend in a few months, they all like drinking but none of them are alcoholic as far as can tell. I'm sweating it a little bit. I'm trying to think of something I can take charge of that will keep me busy. Perhaps seeing to my MIL (oh god help me) and my darling FIL. They are quite elderly so I can see to getting them settled at the table and getting their plates and drinks.

Sasha has a great idea. Staying busy in the kitchen with canapés or finger sandwiches, crudités and such.

Keep SR on your phone or have good reason to check your computer....important emails.....sickly friends may need a check in.

XXOO Lenina
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Old 12-26-2014, 03:22 PM
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Sit with them and, for every negative you hear about someone, contribute a positive. Gossips tend to dislike that and shut up. And for the next 17 months, what are they going to say?.. She's just too positive or wouldn't join in our bash fest?
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