First day...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
First day...
I have come to the realization that I need to end this addiction. I am 30 & have been drinking since I was 13. I've had months of being sober & something happened & I started back up. I spent Christmas hung over on my couch. I had recently gotten into red wine, drinking 12+ beers wasn't doing it for me anymore. My family was on a vacation & I was alone; first Christmas alone. I had off Christmas Eve & thought why not get some wine, turned out to be 2 bottles of cheap chianti. I was supposed to go to work on Christmas but due to waking up from a black out & still drunk that did not happen. I am on egg shells with my job & my absences, I would be surprised if I still have a job come Monday.
I am still hungover from the wine 2 days ago. I had just gotten my life back together 2 years ago with a job & new apartment after my last apartment burnt down & I was on unemployment for almost 2 years & couldn't find a job at all, due to bring arrested for engaging in fighting with an ex during a vodka binge.
As you can tell from my short story alcohol has been a challenge to defeat. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about any of this & came across this site today & hope it will help me & really hope I still have my job come Monday. I would hate to start the new year off with no job, but at least start it off sober. The older i get, the worse the hangovers are, the worse it affects my well being & all I have worked for. I feel very shameful & hard on myself because I knew I am close to losing my job & hope to the gods I still have one. I am just completely depressed this holiday season & feel more alone I think than I ever have. I don't like the person looking back at me in the mirror when I wake up like this, or this pit of anxiety in my stomach about possibly losing my job now. Thanks for listening.
I am still hungover from the wine 2 days ago. I had just gotten my life back together 2 years ago with a job & new apartment after my last apartment burnt down & I was on unemployment for almost 2 years & couldn't find a job at all, due to bring arrested for engaging in fighting with an ex during a vodka binge.
As you can tell from my short story alcohol has been a challenge to defeat. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about any of this & came across this site today & hope it will help me & really hope I still have my job come Monday. I would hate to start the new year off with no job, but at least start it off sober. The older i get, the worse the hangovers are, the worse it affects my well being & all I have worked for. I feel very shameful & hard on myself because I knew I am close to losing my job & hope to the gods I still have one. I am just completely depressed this holiday season & feel more alone I think than I ever have. I don't like the person looking back at me in the mirror when I wake up like this, or this pit of anxiety in my stomach about possibly losing my job now. Thanks for listening.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Glad you're here!
I want you to know that I've been where you are. I've lost many things to my drinking including a career and a marriage. I finally got to a point where I was unwilling to lose anything else to my addiction. It hasn't been easy, but waking up in the morning with no regrets is so worth it!
I want you to know that I've been where you are. I've lost many things to my drinking including a career and a marriage. I finally got to a point where I was unwilling to lose anything else to my addiction. It hasn't been easy, but waking up in the morning with no regrets is so worth it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 39
Today was my first post too ! Way to go for reaching out. I was actually surprised by the outpour of others. I can already tell it's a great place to start. You WONT be alone. I can't help you with drinking specifically, as my addiction is with pills. I too am almost 30, and can understand how you feel. Know that your not alone, that what your facing can be beaten. One of the other members on here told me that this way of life is NOT sustainable for the long term. We will eventually have to face either death or sobriety. We can do it now or later, but later always gets harder. Don't give up what you have for some stupid liquid in a bottle that will only provide temporary pleasure and much more grief later. You can do this! And welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
welcome! Stop it dead in its tracks. No more alcohol. Its taken enough from you! Check out some meetings in your area. Since you blacked out I would see a doctor. Stick around here. lots of advise and support
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,855
Welcome, RavenSparkles, to SR. This is a great site for understanding, support and encouragement.
Have a look around the site. There is an abundance of information on alcoholism and addiction.
Have a look around the site. There is an abundance of information on alcoholism and addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
Thank you for the responses & everyone's encouragement. My problem with drinking is not knowing when to stop, and I would stop if it became daylight after a night of drinking or if I just passed out. Very few occurrences I could have a few & that's it. I would binge drink once a week, or every other week. I always knew before hand I may possibly be undeniably hungover. The feeling of this 2 day red wine hangover is enough to make me never want to drink again.
I am feeling a bit better today as I went to my other part time job this morning, but still feeling groggy & crappy & hardly any sleep last night due to worries. I work In healthcare & see what drinking can do to somebody, I don't want to be that person, nor the single chick at the bar on Christmas Eve ever again because she doesn't want to feel alone. I am not destined for failure, nor is anybody, the universe is testing me right now & I don't want to lose what I've worked so hard for. I think after a good nights sleep tonight & feeling 110% physically better tomorrow I will start to brighten up & hope that I will still have my job come Monday & be happy for the sober future I choose to make it. Thanks for listening & welcoming me <3
I am feeling a bit better today as I went to my other part time job this morning, but still feeling groggy & crappy & hardly any sleep last night due to worries. I work In healthcare & see what drinking can do to somebody, I don't want to be that person, nor the single chick at the bar on Christmas Eve ever again because she doesn't want to feel alone. I am not destined for failure, nor is anybody, the universe is testing me right now & I don't want to lose what I've worked so hard for. I think after a good nights sleep tonight & feeling 110% physically better tomorrow I will start to brighten up & hope that I will still have my job come Monday & be happy for the sober future I choose to make it. Thanks for listening & welcoming me <3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: new york
Posts: 49
I hope you are okay. Im struggling as well. I cant give you advice since im in a deep hole as well. But i can tell you this: it is hard and painful to recover, but i havent had a day of sobriety that hurts more than the morning after a blackout episode.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by riig 
I hope you are okay. Im struggling as well. I cant give you advice since im in a deep hole as well. But i can tell you this: it is hard and painful to recover, but i havent had a day of sobriety that hurts more than the morning after a blackout episode.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: new york
Posts: 49
Well regardless of the consequences i think our best way is up and out of this mess. Even if we screwed up badly isn't it better to face what we did wrong and move on? Whatever we did in our last binge is done. I felt like giving up when i woke up yesterday. My first thought was: really? Again?
But 24 hours after I feel this: if I give up then what? Many more regrets in the future for sure. I cant give up. And i hope you dont either
But 24 hours after I feel this: if I give up then what? Many more regrets in the future for sure. I cant give up. And i hope you dont either
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 169
Welcome to SR Ravensparkles ! You story and situation is all to familiar. You have found a great supporting network here. I found this place 56 days ago - in a 2 bottle red wine binged-up hangover from hell. A few days later walked into an AA meeting, which after the inital shock, I have become to view them, and SR, as my daily sober life-lines. Welcome !!!!! MJM
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Time2Focus
You wanting to stop your addiction is a smart and healthy move. We have all been in your shoes and been on that couch feeling like a$$. Know that you never have to go through that again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by brynn
Glad you're here! I want you to know that I've been where you are. I've lost many things to my drinking including a career and a marriage. I finally got to a point where I was unwilling to lose anything else to my addiction. It hasn't been easy, but waking up in the morning with no regrets is so worth it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Lasha
Today was my first post too ! Way to go for reaching out. I was actually surprised by the outpour of others. I can already tell it's a great place to start. You WONT be alone. I can't help you with drinking specifically, as my addiction is with pills. I too am almost 30, and can understand how you feel. Know that your not alone, that what your facing can be beaten. One of the other members on here told me that this way of life is NOT sustainable for the long term. We will eventually have to face either death or sobriety. We can do it now or later, but later always gets harder. Don't give up what you have for some stupid liquid in a bottle that will only provide temporary pleasure and much more grief later. You can do this! And welcome.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by HOUMJM
Welcome to SR Ravensparkles ! You story and situation is all to familiar. You have found a great supporting network here. I found this place 56 days ago - in a 2 bottle red wine binged-up hangover from hell. A few days later walked into an AA meeting, which after the inital shock, I have become to view them, and SR, as my daily sober life-lines. Welcome !!!!! MJM
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