Declaration of Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: London
Posts: 23
Declaration of Sobriety
I will stop drinking.
I'm 26. Yesterday at my parents for xmas, I carefully traced their movements round the house so that I could sneak to the fridge to top up my wine throughout the day, made (strong) drinks in advance and then hid them upstairs for later on, before finally enduring what seemed like an eternity for them to go to bed so I could raid my Dad's wine collection. I nicked a bottle of white and continued the novel I was reading, polishing off the bottle before falling asleep.
All of this seemed fantastically reasonable as I was doing it. Of course I must plan my drinking and hide beverages appropriately! That's just common sense. Stealing booze from their Dad comes naturally to everyone! Duh!
I wake up with a hangover, ****** skin and a thorough sense of tiredness. I hide the bottles and cans and wander downstairs to put on a performance of freshness and sobriety for the extended family present.
I have got up and drank almost every day for the past two weeks (didn't have to work).
This is - if not rock bottom - certainly some kind of bottom. It's becoming (or is) unmanageable.
This behaviour is *not* reasonable. Nor normal. Nor sustainable.
So this is a commitment to another attempt. Stronger than the last one (ten days sober a month or so ago). I will go to AA. I will be sober.
A reminder to myself:
Pros of not drinking:
- time
- energy
- life
Cons of not drinking:
- have to think of something to do with my newfound time, energy and livelihood. Pretty grim.
My fears about stopping drinking (and why they're silly):
- what will I do on dates?!?!?!?! ermahgerd - silly becos am I really that attractive when I'm smashed? (Answer = 'no', in case you were wondering :P)
- how will I relax?! meditate. go for a walk. read a book. anything. just sit there.
- what will my friends think?! They really don't care that much what beverages you consume. They aren't that fussed. Srsly.
- and so on...
Right. Just poured away my booze as I got back to my flat. Day 1 begins.
Comments appreciated
I'm 26. Yesterday at my parents for xmas, I carefully traced their movements round the house so that I could sneak to the fridge to top up my wine throughout the day, made (strong) drinks in advance and then hid them upstairs for later on, before finally enduring what seemed like an eternity for them to go to bed so I could raid my Dad's wine collection. I nicked a bottle of white and continued the novel I was reading, polishing off the bottle before falling asleep.
All of this seemed fantastically reasonable as I was doing it. Of course I must plan my drinking and hide beverages appropriately! That's just common sense. Stealing booze from their Dad comes naturally to everyone! Duh!
I wake up with a hangover, ****** skin and a thorough sense of tiredness. I hide the bottles and cans and wander downstairs to put on a performance of freshness and sobriety for the extended family present.
I have got up and drank almost every day for the past two weeks (didn't have to work).
This is - if not rock bottom - certainly some kind of bottom. It's becoming (or is) unmanageable.
This behaviour is *not* reasonable. Nor normal. Nor sustainable.
So this is a commitment to another attempt. Stronger than the last one (ten days sober a month or so ago). I will go to AA. I will be sober.
A reminder to myself:
Pros of not drinking:
- time
- energy
- life
Cons of not drinking:
- have to think of something to do with my newfound time, energy and livelihood. Pretty grim.
My fears about stopping drinking (and why they're silly):
- what will I do on dates?!?!?!?! ermahgerd - silly becos am I really that attractive when I'm smashed? (Answer = 'no', in case you were wondering :P)
- how will I relax?! meditate. go for a walk. read a book. anything. just sit there.
- what will my friends think?! They really don't care that much what beverages you consume. They aren't that fussed. Srsly.
- and so on...
Right. Just poured away my booze as I got back to my flat. Day 1 begins.
Comments appreciated
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
I congratulate you on taking that first step!
And you are right. 89 days into sobriety for me and no one else seems to care how much I did or didn't drink.
The first few weeks are the roughest. Spoil yourself, without alcohol of course. Get plenty of rest, get to a meeting, and stay in touch!!
Jennifer
And you are right. 89 days into sobriety for me and no one else seems to care how much I did or didn't drink.
The first few weeks are the roughest. Spoil yourself, without alcohol of course. Get plenty of rest, get to a meeting, and stay in touch!!
Jennifer
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
It all starts with a Day 1!! Great decision Wegweiser!! 
For all of us there are a lot of fears in the beginning, but as you did in your post, with some thought all of those fears evaporate when we realise there are alternatives in life without alcohol, there are many non drinkers in the world who simply get on with life and are happy!!
You can do this!!
For all of us there are a lot of fears in the beginning, but as you did in your post, with some thought all of those fears evaporate when we realise there are alternatives in life without alcohol, there are many non drinkers in the world who simply get on with life and are happy!!
You can do this!!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 198
Don't concentrate so much on your fears of not drinking. I did that for a long time and now that I have a good bit of sober time under my belt, I don't even think about "how will I...... without a drink". I just DO things and I'm happy to not have to think about:
1. Where am I going to be able to get a drink?
2. When can I start drinking?
3. Will I have enough alcohol to get me through this event?
4. Where can I hide alcohol?
5. Now I'm drunk.... Did I do a good job of cleaning up all the empty bottles, cans, etc.
6. Did people know I was drunk? Did I say anything stupid? Did I fall down? Why is there blood on my shirt?
7. Now I'm hungover and want everyone to leave me alone b/c I feel like crap!
I hope this helps a little.
1. Where am I going to be able to get a drink?
2. When can I start drinking?
3. Will I have enough alcohol to get me through this event?
4. Where can I hide alcohol?
5. Now I'm drunk.... Did I do a good job of cleaning up all the empty bottles, cans, etc.
6. Did people know I was drunk? Did I say anything stupid? Did I fall down? Why is there blood on my shirt?
7. Now I'm hungover and want everyone to leave me alone b/c I feel like crap!
I hope this helps a little.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Its actually very nice and peaceful not having to plot and plan where to drink and how to avoid no-one finding out.
I remember a holiday where everyday I went for a walk so I could buy a bottle of drink.
I swore everyday it would last.
The next day I was out walking to buy my drink again.
I am so glad those days are over!
I am happy and peaceful.
When you talk about what to do and how to fill the hours when you are not drinking, remember you can read a book without a glass of wine. You can still watch a film without booze.
I think you can actually do a whole lot more when you pack drinking in.
You are not hidden away at home, tied to your source of drink and the risk of not bumping into someone.
I think your world can get quite small when you drink.
Mine did!
I wish you the best xx
I remember a holiday where everyday I went for a walk so I could buy a bottle of drink.
I swore everyday it would last.
The next day I was out walking to buy my drink again.
I am so glad those days are over!
I am happy and peaceful.
When you talk about what to do and how to fill the hours when you are not drinking, remember you can read a book without a glass of wine. You can still watch a film without booze.
I think you can actually do a whole lot more when you pack drinking in.
You are not hidden away at home, tied to your source of drink and the risk of not bumping into someone.
I think your world can get quite small when you drink.
Mine did!
I wish you the best xx
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Great post Wegweiser - I certainly related to most of what you said.
I wasn't in my 20's when I wised up though - it took me far longer. Be thankful you've recognized what needs to be done. You won't suffer the pain and misery so many of us have. You're very self aware and it will serve you well. You've reached out for help, and you'll find a wealth of support and friendship here. You're on your way to a better life. You can do it!
I wasn't in my 20's when I wised up though - it took me far longer. Be thankful you've recognized what needs to be done. You won't suffer the pain and misery so many of us have. You're very self aware and it will serve you well. You've reached out for help, and you'll find a wealth of support and friendship here. You're on your way to a better life. You can do it!
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