Christmas greetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Christmas greetings
Hello all.
Newbie here, I found the forum while searching for items on the subconscious mind…
I am only starting to come around from a 2 day hangover from hell, coupled with absolute shock and horror as to my behavior. Basically I did my grocery shopping the other day, I picked up a bottle of whiskey spur of the moment, Ironically I opted for that as I thought it would be more discreet than beers and I had a relative with me at the time. How wrong I was…
I hadn't had a drink in 6 months, and around this time last year made a resolve to come slowly off it and to address this mess that my life had surely become. Anyway. 3 nights ago I was on my own and playing with my new guitar, someone on another forum had just shown me how to do alternate tunings with it. So I wrote back that I would celebrate my new guitar with a glass or two of whiskey. Well, I remember the first few glasses! Everything was fine, I was happy enough and playing with my guitar. And then I woke up! A relative woke me up and told me to come downstairs, I was like 'whats up' totally clueless'.
Well it wasn't good, 3 windows were broke and the place was trashed, albeit superficially. I have cuts and bruises all over. It was the cops who rang my relative to say there was a disturbance at the house. The scary part is that I do not remember any of that? Like, I do not not understand what is the driving force behind that behavior it makes no sense. I am totally at a loss to explain it to myself, let alone others.
The worst part is, I was doing good. Ive had no urges to drink anymore, even though I was dependent on it for a few years, though luckily not the hard stuff thank god as this is what happens. Well it just feels that all my progress has been undone, like a bolt out of the blue. And for what? Nothing basically. This proves now that I really cannot drink.
So many problems in my life can be attributed to drink, all of them. It still doesn't explain to me though the behavior and underlying causes of it.
Anyway. I hope you are all having a good Christmas out there.
Stay safe & sober. Peace
Newbie here, I found the forum while searching for items on the subconscious mind…
I am only starting to come around from a 2 day hangover from hell, coupled with absolute shock and horror as to my behavior. Basically I did my grocery shopping the other day, I picked up a bottle of whiskey spur of the moment, Ironically I opted for that as I thought it would be more discreet than beers and I had a relative with me at the time. How wrong I was…
I hadn't had a drink in 6 months, and around this time last year made a resolve to come slowly off it and to address this mess that my life had surely become. Anyway. 3 nights ago I was on my own and playing with my new guitar, someone on another forum had just shown me how to do alternate tunings with it. So I wrote back that I would celebrate my new guitar with a glass or two of whiskey. Well, I remember the first few glasses! Everything was fine, I was happy enough and playing with my guitar. And then I woke up! A relative woke me up and told me to come downstairs, I was like 'whats up' totally clueless'.
Well it wasn't good, 3 windows were broke and the place was trashed, albeit superficially. I have cuts and bruises all over. It was the cops who rang my relative to say there was a disturbance at the house. The scary part is that I do not remember any of that? Like, I do not not understand what is the driving force behind that behavior it makes no sense. I am totally at a loss to explain it to myself, let alone others.
The worst part is, I was doing good. Ive had no urges to drink anymore, even though I was dependent on it for a few years, though luckily not the hard stuff thank god as this is what happens. Well it just feels that all my progress has been undone, like a bolt out of the blue. And for what? Nothing basically. This proves now that I really cannot drink.
So many problems in my life can be attributed to drink, all of them. It still doesn't explain to me though the behavior and underlying causes of it.
Anyway. I hope you are all having a good Christmas out there.
Stay safe & sober. Peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome!
Scary experience you had. Thank god you didn't hurt yourself more or someone else, and stay off the sauce. You had 6 months, so you know how to be sober.
Issue is grabbing the bottle of Whiskey in the "spur" of the moment. If I were you I would prepare a plan for next time the idea pops up. Could be a question of posting here before acting, getting a sponsor, or a friend you can call.
Good luck!
Scary experience you had. Thank god you didn't hurt yourself more or someone else, and stay off the sauce. You had 6 months, so you know how to be sober.
Issue is grabbing the bottle of Whiskey in the "spur" of the moment. If I were you I would prepare a plan for next time the idea pops up. Could be a question of posting here before acting, getting a sponsor, or a friend you can call.
Good luck!
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome Stevey 
Sounds like you've pretty much had enough of that merry go round.
Underlying causes to your behaviour? I think there's a simple answer to that -you got drunk.
Six months of sobriety is great!
Is there anything you can do differently this time so that you can stay off it for good ?
Glad to have you on board !
Sounds like you've pretty much had enough of that merry go round.
Underlying causes to your behaviour? I think there's a simple answer to that -you got drunk.
Six months of sobriety is great!
Is there anything you can do differently this time so that you can stay off it for good ?
Glad to have you on board !
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Welcome Stevey! I've been in your shoes and it is terrifying ...
After a good 8 months sober I was on a business trip and decided to have a glass of wine as a reward for getting through the whole week away without a drink - it was my last night there and I planned to have my drink and go to bed for my early flight the next morning.
All I remember is the first glass. I "came to" in my hotel room with an angel on earth who worked at the hotel and apparently drew the short straw to handle the drunk loon at the bar. I have no memory of what happened and it scared the crap out of me. I wasn't a regular "blackout" drinker although I had a few here and there but this was literally after one glass of wine. I don't know how many more I had, but the hangover I suffered on the plane the next day indicates it was definitely more than one. By the grace of God that person helped me get it together and took care of me ... I broke down crying like a baby when I came out of it and this person didn't judge me, didn't attack me, didn't steal from me ... just caring and understanding.
After that horrific experience and many years of struggle I finally gave up. That was over 2 years ago. I am lucky that nothing worse happened and it is that night that finally put me in a seat on the sober train for good.
I know that I cannot drink safely. In my own home or anywhere else. There is no way to determine how many will take me back to that terrible place of amnesia and I have no desire to find out.
I hope your experience the other night provides the same motivation for you - and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. It can be done and sober life is amazing ... in a word, I can say my life now is SAFE. And that is enough for me to banish alcohol from my body forever
Wishing you a wonderful, sober and happy journey!!!
After a good 8 months sober I was on a business trip and decided to have a glass of wine as a reward for getting through the whole week away without a drink - it was my last night there and I planned to have my drink and go to bed for my early flight the next morning.
All I remember is the first glass. I "came to" in my hotel room with an angel on earth who worked at the hotel and apparently drew the short straw to handle the drunk loon at the bar. I have no memory of what happened and it scared the crap out of me. I wasn't a regular "blackout" drinker although I had a few here and there but this was literally after one glass of wine. I don't know how many more I had, but the hangover I suffered on the plane the next day indicates it was definitely more than one. By the grace of God that person helped me get it together and took care of me ... I broke down crying like a baby when I came out of it and this person didn't judge me, didn't attack me, didn't steal from me ... just caring and understanding.
After that horrific experience and many years of struggle I finally gave up. That was over 2 years ago. I am lucky that nothing worse happened and it is that night that finally put me in a seat on the sober train for good.
I know that I cannot drink safely. In my own home or anywhere else. There is no way to determine how many will take me back to that terrible place of amnesia and I have no desire to find out.
I hope your experience the other night provides the same motivation for you - and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. It can be done and sober life is amazing ... in a word, I can say my life now is SAFE. And that is enough for me to banish alcohol from my body forever
Wishing you a wonderful, sober and happy journey!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Thanks all for the responses. Looks like I am in the right place
I am feeling like crap now and there is a huge guilt trip coming over me. I'm going to rest for a while, hopefully then I can think more clearly and will endeavor to respond to some of your points. I feel terrible
Once again thanks
I am feeling like crap now and there is a huge guilt trip coming over me. I'm going to rest for a while, hopefully then I can think more clearly and will endeavor to respond to some of your points. I feel terrible
Once again thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Thanks guys. Think I might stick around here for a bit, I have some tough hurdles ahead and I have very little support in my life, though I'm thankful for the support which I do have
I agree. I was thinking to myself earlier, maybe a ******** of some sort. Be it a bracelet or a pendant of some sort. Or a tattoo. Maybe the words "don't drink douchbag". Across my forehead.
Absolutely I have had enough, because this has been going on for over half my life. Even when I try to do it moderately, either something like this happens, opt I just keep drinking more and more and eventually end up pissing people off. It's all related to drink.
Well thats a good question. I certainly have no inclination to drink. I had planned to spend my new year working through some problems, like I have kids that I don't see very often for one thing. And also just to look after myself a bit better, I bought a guitar there recently to try and bring some creativity back into my life instead of this destructive pattern I seem to fall into.
And yes I agree. I got mindless drunk. I suppose its an adverse reaction more than anything? Certainly its not indicative of my personality, more like the antihesis of it. Because as bad as things have gotten this year (and believe me they are not good) the strange thing is that in the past 6 months while sober Ive been starting to feel more like myself again than I have in years.
Thanks for sharing the story. I can totally relate. That seems to be the danger point, the 'oh maybe I can reward myself now, I've been doing so well' or 'maybe I was under a lot of pressure or stressed out at that time', and of course, daily life can get a bit monotonous too by times. But it's looking certain that I can't reach out for a drink anymore, it's a question of safety for sure. I'm gonna try not to beat myself up at this point.
I agree guys that what I described is scary, thats exactly how I felt or feel about it. I'm amazed actually at how I could do x y & z and have literally no recollection of it. Terrifying is a good word
So how come others can party away and drink all day without these effects? You only need to take a look on social networks to see it happening all over today, not that I'm resentful of the fact or that it matters much. But its an interesting question. Though, maybe one for another day right now...
Originally Posted by Thepatman 
Welcome!
Scary experience you had. Thank god you didn't hurt yourself more or someone else, and stay off the sauce. You had 6 months, so you know how to be sober.
Issue is grabbing the bottle of Whiskey in the "spur" of the moment. If I were you I would prepare a plan for next time the idea pops up. Could be a question of posting here before acting, getting a sponsor, or a friend you can call.
Good luck!
Scary experience you had. Thank god you didn't hurt yourself more or someone else, and stay off the sauce. You had 6 months, so you know how to be sober.
Issue is grabbing the bottle of Whiskey in the "spur" of the moment. If I were you I would prepare a plan for next time the idea pops up. Could be a question of posting here before acting, getting a sponsor, or a friend you can call.
Good luck!
Originally Posted by JanieJ
Welcome Stevey
Sounds like you've pretty much had enough of that merry go round.
Underlying causes to your behaviour? I think there's a simple answer to that -you got drunk.
Six months of sobriety is great!
Is there anything you can do differently this time so that you can stay off it for good ?
Glad to have you on board !
Sounds like you've pretty much had enough of that merry go round.
Underlying causes to your behaviour? I think there's a simple answer to that -you got drunk.
Six months of sobriety is great!
Is there anything you can do differently this time so that you can stay off it for good ?
Glad to have you on board !
Well thats a good question. I certainly have no inclination to drink. I had planned to spend my new year working through some problems, like I have kids that I don't see very often for one thing. And also just to look after myself a bit better, I bought a guitar there recently to try and bring some creativity back into my life instead of this destructive pattern I seem to fall into.
And yes I agree. I got mindless drunk. I suppose its an adverse reaction more than anything? Certainly its not indicative of my personality, more like the antihesis of it. Because as bad as things have gotten this year (and believe me they are not good) the strange thing is that in the past 6 months while sober Ive been starting to feel more like myself again than I have in years.
Originally Posted by IWillWin
Welcome Stevey! I've been in your shoes and it is terrifying ...
After a good 8 months sober I was on a business trip and decided to have a glass of wine as a reward for getting through the whole week away without a drink - it was my last night there and I planned to have my drink and go to bed for my early flight the next morning.
All I remember is the first glass. I "came to" in my hotel room with an angel on earth who worked at the hotel and apparently drew the short straw to handle the drunk loon at the bar. I have no memory of what happened and it scared the crap out of me. I wasn't a regular "blackout" drinker although I had a few here and there but this was literally after one glass of wine. I don't know how many more I had, but the hangover I suffered on the plane the next day indicates it was definitely more than one. By the grace of God that person helped me get it together and took care of me ... I broke down crying like a baby when I came out of it and this person didn't judge me, didn't attack me, didn't steal from me ... just caring and understanding.
After that horrific experience and many years of struggle I finally gave up. That was over 2 years ago. I am lucky that nothing worse happened and it is that night that finally put me in a seat on the sober train for good.
I know that I cannot drink safely. In my own home or anywhere else. There is no way to determine how many will take me back to that terrible place of amnesia and I have no desire to find out.
I hope your experience the other night provides the same motivation for you - and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. It can be done and sober life is amazing ... in a word, I can say my life now is SAFE. And that is enough for me to banish alcohol from my body forever
Wishing you a wonderful, sober and happy journey!!!
After a good 8 months sober I was on a business trip and decided to have a glass of wine as a reward for getting through the whole week away without a drink - it was my last night there and I planned to have my drink and go to bed for my early flight the next morning.
All I remember is the first glass. I "came to" in my hotel room with an angel on earth who worked at the hotel and apparently drew the short straw to handle the drunk loon at the bar. I have no memory of what happened and it scared the crap out of me. I wasn't a regular "blackout" drinker although I had a few here and there but this was literally after one glass of wine. I don't know how many more I had, but the hangover I suffered on the plane the next day indicates it was definitely more than one. By the grace of God that person helped me get it together and took care of me ... I broke down crying like a baby when I came out of it and this person didn't judge me, didn't attack me, didn't steal from me ... just caring and understanding.
After that horrific experience and many years of struggle I finally gave up. That was over 2 years ago. I am lucky that nothing worse happened and it is that night that finally put me in a seat on the sober train for good.
I know that I cannot drink safely. In my own home or anywhere else. There is no way to determine how many will take me back to that terrible place of amnesia and I have no desire to find out.
I hope your experience the other night provides the same motivation for you - and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. It can be done and sober life is amazing ... in a word, I can say my life now is SAFE. And that is enough for me to banish alcohol from my body forever
Wishing you a wonderful, sober and happy journey!!!
I agree guys that what I described is scary, thats exactly how I felt or feel about it. I'm amazed actually at how I could do x y & z and have literally no recollection of it. Terrifying is a good word
So how come others can party away and drink all day without these effects? You only need to take a look on social networks to see it happening all over today, not that I'm resentful of the fact or that it matters much. But its an interesting question. Though, maybe one for another day right now...
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