taking a leap forward
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 129
taking a leap forward
Greetings,
Posting and joining these forums is a big step for me. I am at a time in my life where I don't like my life with alcohol. Truth is, I rarely did, it's just become what I do.
I think i'm the one in control: I'm just a social drinker. Friday is blackout drive and 1-2 times a week it's almost the same. But if I was in control, then I could stop.
I readily admit I'm having trouble thinking about what will I do without alcohol as it's so ingrained in my life. At the same time it's the root of my problems in the past, and without a doubt, will be in the future.
Why am I here? I need to find the path forward. I hope to gain the tools I need to help forge, and ultimately, realize my goals.
Have a career, house and car. Can't keep a relationship together to save my life. Would love to say goodbye to alcohol before I destroy all I have.
Pleasure to be here.
Castdown
Posting and joining these forums is a big step for me. I am at a time in my life where I don't like my life with alcohol. Truth is, I rarely did, it's just become what I do.
I think i'm the one in control: I'm just a social drinker. Friday is blackout drive and 1-2 times a week it's almost the same. But if I was in control, then I could stop.
I readily admit I'm having trouble thinking about what will I do without alcohol as it's so ingrained in my life. At the same time it's the root of my problems in the past, and without a doubt, will be in the future.
Why am I here? I need to find the path forward. I hope to gain the tools I need to help forge, and ultimately, realize my goals.
Have a career, house and car. Can't keep a relationship together to save my life. Would love to say goodbye to alcohol before I destroy all I have.
Pleasure to be here.
Castdown
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 67
This is the first step! Well done for recognising the thing that is holding you back. The idea of giving up alcohol can seem daunting at first but don't let that stop you, it's very much possible and the benefits are well worth it. Alcohol doesn't nothing but weaken the foundations of any relationship so if that's your goal then this is a great first step. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,418
Welcome! I came here petrified and put down the bottle shaking in my shoes. I'm no longer sure who that person was. If I can do it, so can you.
Coming here is a great thing to do for yourself. Glad you are here.
Coming here is a great thing to do for yourself. Glad you are here.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
castdown, the stage of knowing I wanted to stop but finding it hard to let go of the bottle lasted a few weeks with me. I googled Alcoholism, and found the stages of A pretty scary, also the health effects like cancer, obesity, brain damage. I also talked to my doctor, and found sharing my secret was helpful. He told me I would have to stop altogether, which my mind resisted, but it did wake me up to my problem.
After a few weeks the information had got through enough for me to be able to stop; shortly afterwards I found SR and that's helped keep me sober.
After a few weeks the information had got through enough for me to be able to stop; shortly afterwards I found SR and that's helped keep me sober.
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome Castdown 
You 'll find tons of support and info here, lots of stories about how other people get and stay sober.
It does seem scary at first but the benefits are amazing.
Good to have you on board.
You 'll find tons of support and info here, lots of stories about how other people get and stay sober.
It does seem scary at first but the benefits are amazing.
Good to have you on board.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Welcome CD! All I can say is I'm glad I found SR when I did. It has been my primary means of support for over half a year . I hope you find it useful in your recovery. Also congrats on making the decision. You have a detox plan? date? Seen a Dr. yet (advisable)? Stick around and let us know how it's going.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 129
[QUOTE=anattaboy;5097322]Welcome CD! All I can say is I'm glad I found SR when I did. It has been my primary means of support for over half a year . I hope you find it useful in your recovery. Also congrats on making the decision. You have a detox plan? date? Seen a Dr. yet (advisable)? Stick around and let us know how it's going.[/QUOTE
1. No detox plan. As I primarily binge drink. I find all I get is the hangover part. Currently 3 days without a drink. have I thereby completed detox already? I find it's less that my body needs to drink and more that voice in my head.
2. Have access to Dr through work. Won't be back until 6 Jan but I won't have time. Shortly after I gone to a 7 week course. So unless there's a health issue. Not until mid March. Plan to also talk to mental health as well.
Last time I had a drink was Dec 22. Visiting family for the holidays. I live 20 mins away. I made an excuse to go home for the evening. Of course it was only so I could go out for a few pints... Shots... Last call: gotta order 2 of everything!
I hide this behavior to varying degrees from family and friends.
Thanks all
1. No detox plan. As I primarily binge drink. I find all I get is the hangover part. Currently 3 days without a drink. have I thereby completed detox already? I find it's less that my body needs to drink and more that voice in my head.
2. Have access to Dr through work. Won't be back until 6 Jan but I won't have time. Shortly after I gone to a 7 week course. So unless there's a health issue. Not until mid March. Plan to also talk to mental health as well.
Last time I had a drink was Dec 22. Visiting family for the holidays. I live 20 mins away. I made an excuse to go home for the evening. Of course it was only so I could go out for a few pints... Shots... Last call: gotta order 2 of everything!
I hide this behavior to varying degrees from family and friends.
Thanks all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 129
It's Friday night... I'm alone... And I am sober.
Drove home, filled up my gas tank, drove through town and past the bars. The open signs in the windows were doing their best to draw me in. Clarity struct me. Two thoughts occured:
1. We're not friends. Summer past I was invited to a barbeque. When I arrived I was not introduced as "this is my friend castdown", no it was "this is castdown, he's one of the regulars at the bar". I don't owe them anything.
2. I posted my intentions to make change. I can't let myself down. I owe myself everything.
I did stop for green tea and thought about posting when I got home.
Here I am.
This is working already
Drove home, filled up my gas tank, drove through town and past the bars. The open signs in the windows were doing their best to draw me in. Clarity struct me. Two thoughts occured:
1. We're not friends. Summer past I was invited to a barbeque. When I arrived I was not introduced as "this is my friend castdown", no it was "this is castdown, he's one of the regulars at the bar". I don't owe them anything.
2. I posted my intentions to make change. I can't let myself down. I owe myself everything.
I did stop for green tea and thought about posting when I got home.
Here I am.
This is working already
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,327
Way to really think it through, cast down!
You'll have to change that name to castup (or catsup, which autocorrect changed it too, lol).
Truly, way to go!
Every time we stop and make another choice our sober muscles get exercised!
You'll have to change that name to castup (or catsup, which autocorrect changed it too, lol).
Truly, way to go!
Every time we stop and make another choice our sober muscles get exercised!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 129
Saturdays...
The normal routine was to simply recover from Friday. That's it, that's all. Was never even worth bothering making other plans because I would only cancel anyway. Unless I was invited out to a bar. Hangovers.
So much for routines:
Since I went and mixed things up by not drinking Fri. I was actually able to function. Nothing earth shattering. No epithany. Made lunch and went to the gym. 5k on the treadmill and 10 min steam bath. Followed that up with a whole lot of doing nothing
Enjoy the small victories.
The normal routine was to simply recover from Friday. That's it, that's all. Was never even worth bothering making other plans because I would only cancel anyway. Unless I was invited out to a bar. Hangovers.
So much for routines:
Since I went and mixed things up by not drinking Fri. I was actually able to function. Nothing earth shattering. No epithany. Made lunch and went to the gym. 5k on the treadmill and 10 min steam bath. Followed that up with a whole lot of doing nothing
Enjoy the small victories.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 129
I now require two hands to count the consecutive sober days.
It's almost been too easy: small, easy to achieve goals, setting myself up for success, and having a backup plan if things start going pear shaped.
Storms will come. Might have to hold on to something, or tie myself to a tree, but I will remain standing.
Strength and courage,
Castdown
It's almost been too easy: small, easy to achieve goals, setting myself up for success, and having a backup plan if things start going pear shaped.
Storms will come. Might have to hold on to something, or tie myself to a tree, but I will remain standing.
Strength and courage,
Castdown
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
