I'm hiding from my brother in law
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Briar I'm glad you and your sobriety won and I'm proud of you for that but really, your b-i-l needs to be told in no uncertain terms. If he is in your home he needs to be there on your terms and that does not include chasing you around with a wine bottle. I'd find a time -- after Christmas -- to lay a few ground rules with him, the first being that when you say "no thank you" that's what you mean. There is no need to open "the" conversation with him or anyone else, "no thank you" is enough.
Good on you!
Good on you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
Originally Posted by Briar 
I did it. They are gone, our daughter is in bed, and we are getting ready to put out the santa gifts and stuff the stocking. And I am sober.
Thank you all for being with me tonight. I don't know where I'd be without you.
Thank you all for being with me tonight. I don't know where I'd be without you.
You are a gift to SR, Briar.
Your story of strength last night was inspirational.
Have a wonderful Christmas Day.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by Briar
Conquest - I totally did a few slick Mission Impossible moves to avoid him! 
And in heels no less!
And in heels no less! Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: nomad
Posts: 253
I have noticed and experienced that also with both alcohol and smoking. I quit both, and instead of people encouraging me with quitting, they have to let me know every time they go smoke. I'm sorry your going through it.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 215
Originally Posted by Marcher13
Briar I'm glad you and your sobriety won and I'm proud of you for that but really, your b-i-l needs to be told in no uncertain terms. If he is in your home he needs to be there on your terms and that does not include chasing you around with a wine bottle. I'd find a time -- after Christmas -- to lay a few ground rules with him, the first being that when you say "no thank you" that's what you mean. There is no need to open "the" conversation with him or anyone else, "no thank you" is enough.
Good on you!
Good on you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: ca
Posts: 35
Good job Briar! Glad you could find some humor in it. I'm dreading today as my BIL will likely do the same. Granted, we don't see each other often, but each time we do he offers me a drink. It'll be two years in a month! I can't figure out if he's being obtuse, just being passive aggressive or that forgetful due to his ADD. I'm betting on the first two after his remark to me the other night to "say or do something, so I can tell you how wrong you are, hahahah".
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 83
You were awesome, Briar! Thank you for sharing and showing it can be done. And your drink sounds great--I'm going to try it. Cheers to many more sober Christmases for all of us! May we all survive--or hopefully -- learn to THRIVE -- being sober and present during the holidays and always! hugs
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Originally Posted by 2blackkittehs
Good job Briar! Glad you could find some humor in it. I'm dreading today as my BIL will likely do the same. Granted, we don't see each other often, but each time we do he offers me a drink. It'll be two years in a month! I can't figure out if he's being obtuse, just being passive aggressive or that forgetful due to his ADD. I'm betting on the first two after his remark to me the other night to "say or do something, so I can tell you how wrong you are, hahahah".
My husband's family doesn't drink much usually, so my BIL and I were drinking buddies. I think he's uncomfortable being the only big drinker. It's normalizing to have a partner in crime, right? Who knows, maybe my sobriety will encourage him to get his act together too. I don't know, I have to just focus on myself right now.
Thanks for all the kind words!
I was thinking more along the lines of slipping some laxatives in his drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: pasadena
Posts: 7
Good for you Briar. I have the same issue with my Bro in Law. Fortunately, (although we did miss him) he did not attend our christmas eve party last night and i was only offered a drink once. Stay strong!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 67
Recently someone said to me 'I don't trust people who don't drink' Oh the very irony of that statement! Only reason your crazy brother in law 'needs' you to drink is for his own needs. Imagine chasing a vegetarian around with a piece of bacon. Good for you, stay strong :-)
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I dunno...why don't you pull up some "curling" on your tablet or something and insist he watch it. Chase him around with it...and say here, here, watch it..it's really important to me you do. I don't care how you feel...but I would be a lot more comfortable if you watched this guy throw rocks down the ice. Just say "come on be a sport, watch this winter sport on this holiest of days. I think Jesus would".
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