SoberD

Well, I made it 30 days sober yesterday but got hit with my first real moment of weakness. It wasn't that I wanted to drink at the time but I got carried away thinking about how difficult it will be to not drink FOREVER. The "one day at a time" mantra occurred to me and as the day progressed, the fears/apprehension began to dissipate. I got a good night's sleep and woke up with the feeling of "what was I thinking!?" I actually felt guilty for even thinking about drinking. It's amazing the way our minds can just shift gears like that.

Over time, do people find that the fear of not drinking ever again, seems to weaken? How long has it taken people here to feel completely "stable" in their decision(s) to stay sober forever?

PurpleKnight

Great job on pushing through!!

For me a good year did the trick, going through my first Xmas Sober, my first birthday, my first wedding, funeral, New Years, work nights out, Superbowl etc etc, once I survived all the big occasions during the year once without any alcohol I knew I was making some serious headway.

There then came the shift in mindset from one day at a time, to actually liking being a non drinker and accepting this was my new routine!!

SoberD

That's great PK, thanks for that insight - I really want to just get to that point of living my life happily and not really thinking about the sober vs. drinking decision. I feel like I am entering somewhat of a "dry drunk" phase in my sobriety and it is scaring me...

AcceptingChange

It becomes a way of approaching each day. When my mind starts thinking about situations in the future, i remind myself "you have no idea how the future will be. So just worry about this minute, this day."
It can seem overwhelming to think "I'll NEVER be able to do that again.", and we feel that life isn't fair. Then we rebel and say "O yes i can" or "one time won't matter".
But cravings aren't like a hole in plaster, that we can take care of one last time, and then we'll be good for the rest of our lives.
Cravings are like feeding the pit bull puppy who comes to your back door and starts barking. At first you give in, because it's just easier to feed it than it is to listen to it bark. But each time you feed it, the creature gets a little bigger, and the creature learns how to get what it wants by annoying you. Pretty soon the puppy is a large vicious dog, that owns your whole back yard, and keeps you scared and frightened from leaving your space. You've taught it how to control you.
30 days is a great foundation! Go for 30 alcohol free days again.

Gonnachange

Well played SoberD!

Soberwolf

Well done on 30 days sober D

JanieJ

Stay strong, Sober D, you' ll get there, I'm sure .

30 days is awesome

I'm on 74 days -- the thought of never drinking again is actually a relief, most days, but on the occasional day it's like a kind of high keening sound of despair in my mind...

But I know I don' have a choice. and I must accept that.

Think Acceptingchance has it nailed there...

0percentABV

To me one of the most daunting things was "never again." And thinking that the weeks and months after finally quitting was how I was going to feel forever. But for me it took about 6 months to really feel comfortable with the "never again" mantra. It got better and better and the thoughts of booze and drinking started to become less and less and with it the fear of life after the bottle. I'm close to two years now and though I stay vigilant and always stay one step ahead of my AV I have no fear whatsoever of never drinking again. I want to die old and sober.

MythOfSisyphus

I've only been sober for two years but it feels like part of my identity. I can't say that I am infallible or anything but I don't have any fear of drinking again. It's just not in the cards for me.

Dee74

it took months not weeks for me Sober D but I definitely got to a point where I was no longer scared of relapse

you can too - congrats on 30 days!

D

Kero

The best ways I fight it is just to think about how the next 24 hours would play out if I did drink. I think of all the bad things, both major and minor that would happen if I drank. Then just focus on not wanting those negative things right now. The future is out there somewhere. The present is right here, right now, and it is always better sober right now.

Best of luck and stay strong.

CAPTAINZING2000

I just don't think about a drink today and let tomorrow take case of it self.
I had the same thought of never being able to drink again as well.
I learned to live in the moment. I continue to have healthy goals for my future though.

Mac1

Well done on 30 days

I've been sober a few months. The cravings do get less frequent but they still happen. Just nowhere near as intense you'll be glad to hear.

Certainly at the start I got caught up with 'what if' scenarios....such as how on earth could i cope sober on my sons wedding day. He's 14 and doesn't have a girlfriend

So just keep doing what your doing - your attention will eventually be drawn more to the here and now.

upquark

It gets easier with time. The dreams, the cravings etc., it all weakens as time goes on. Keep going and things will get better all of the time.

Rina

I am at 7 months and I haven't thought of it until I got a chest cold the other day. My Dad used to make me a hot toddy and all of the sudden I really wanted one and couldn't imagine never having one again. It was a comfort thing. Then I played the tape through and really thought about how it would be 5 hot toddys And how I would wake up hung over and feeling worse. It passed but it freaked me out a bit.

FreeOwl

it took me one 5 month stint of sobriety secretly fearing the idea of NEVER AGAIN, then a 1.5 year relapse.... then about 6 months or so to be fully shed of that uncomfortable feeling that gee, never was a long time!!

Now I don't feel afraid of never drinking again - instead I kind of look forward to it. I have a sort of excitement at what the 'second half of my life' will bring now that I don't have to be weighted down with alcohol's impacts. Every now and then I may still have a fleeting thought of drinking, but most of my thoughts are about how fortunate I am to live a sober life and how much more deeply I am able to live without booze.

Hang in there, focus on the good parts, open yourself to the positive that can come in a life of sobriety, seek out the benefits every day and celebrate them. We get more of what we focus on, so MAGNIFY the goodness and before you know it, you'll wonder how you ever felt so terrified of a life without toxic poison.

SoberD

Great replies - thank you so much. Clearly, I just need more time but so far, for the most part, I do feel great about sobriety and am excited (as someone put it) to see what the second half of my life holds...