Notices

always been there

Old 12-23-2014, 08:29 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
always been there

I grew up in a big family, father drank, i started drinking at a very young age, smoked more pot in the early years. didnt do much drugs, alittle cocaine for a few years a long time ago, quit smoking pot over 20 years ago and cigarettes over tem years ago. still drink. I consider myself a binge drinker. I do ok for a few days, weeks, then I buy a bottle and drink till I'm down. I am trying to get it under control. I would like to quit.
However, I have a husband that drinks nearly every night, he drinks a whole bottle of vodka most nights. a fifth of vodka. I married my father. I have tried to talk to him about how often and have asked him to slow down. He has sleep apnea and snores and his drinking makes it worse. About a month ago, i asked him to sleep in the another room cuz I need to get sleep. I work and lately I have developed insomnia, I need sleep. At first I slept in the other room, but then I asked him to sleep in the other room if he is drinking. (Very hard to sleep with a person with sleep apnea and passed out) Now he sleeps in the other room every night, still drinks, drinks more now.
I sometimes feel like a hypocrite when I complain about his drinking cuz I drink too.
Sisterbobby is offline  
Old 12-23-2014, 08:40 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,047
Hi and welcome sisterbobby

You'll find a lot of support here. There's a lot of our members who've had to deal with drinking spouses when they're trying to deal with their own drinking problems.

I'm glad you've found us

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-23-2014, 10:33 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome to SR youl find a lot of support here sisterbobby
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 12-23-2014, 11:53 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 192
Hey, Sisterbobby. Welcome to SR! Thank you for sharing what you're going through. I can only imagine how tough your nights continue to be. I look forward to other members with similar experiences offering you something that truly benefits you. I sincerely wish you the very best.
Steve123123 is offline  
Old 12-24-2014, 03:15 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome to SR.

You don't have to drink anymore if you don't want to. Lots of ways to get to happy sober living. Keep posting and reading here and we can help you with that.

Your husband is beyond our control - and yours - unless he wants to stop.

I have sleep apnea, and drinking used to enable me to sleep through the apnea. That's why drinking makes the snoring worse - the drunk sleeps through it instead of waking from it. However, there is a much better way to deal with it, and I sleep great since I quit drinking. I can provide additional info about my experience with this if you want it.

Be well, and Merry Christmas!
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 12-24-2014, 03:47 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
sprout50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Hi and welcome to SR! My best advice at this point would be to focus on your own sobriety right now. as Nonsensical said, your husband's drinking is beyond your control right now. He has to quit himself. It may be difficult to quit when someone else in the house is drinking but itt can be done.
sprout50 is offline  
Old 12-24-2014, 04:13 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
a ton of help offered

Originally Posted by Sisterbobby View Post

I sometimes feel like a hypocrite when I complain about his drinking cuz I drink too.
Sounds like you both could use some help with your drinking issues.

There is a ton of help offered out there

Anything sound good to you ??

M-B
Mountainmanbob is offline  
Old 12-24-2014, 10:21 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum sisterbobby!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 12-26-2014, 02:38 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
thanks for all the support, i was surprised to see all the replys, someone really does care
quitting drinking well not be easy, every time I wake with a headache i get mad at myself. I got home last night from work, my husband was passed out on the floor, happens quite often. Merry Christmas! I grabbed the bottle and had a few drinks myself. Feeling sorry for myself, I quess.
I love my husband but I do not see growing old with him. Drinking like he does will put him in an early grave, or maybe not?
Sisterbobby is offline  
Old 12-26-2014, 02:59 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
Welcome, Sisterbobby, to SR.

You are not alone. As you read around the threads, you will find other members who are seeking sobriety and also living with a spouse who drinks.

It is possible to achieve and maintain sobriety despite a drinking spouse. It adds another element to your challenges but not an insurmountable one.

SR is here for you. Lean on us.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 02:37 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
How long does it take to feel better after you stop drinking? I feel like crap. It's been 14 days and I feel so depressed
Sisterbobby is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 02:40 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
When did you stop drinking, Sisterbobby?
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 02:41 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
It takes time everyone is diffrent whats been happening ?
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 02:58 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
Originally Posted by Sisterbobby View Post
How long does it take to feel better after you stop drinking? I feel like crap. It's been 14 days and I feel so depressed
Your body is going through some major adjustments.

Early sobriety is an emotional roller coaster; a true range of emotions (from highs to lows) are very common.

You should speak with your doctor about your depression, though.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 03:11 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Sisterbobby View Post
How long does it take to feel better after you stop drinking? I feel like crap. It's been 14 days and I feel so depressed
at least give it a month and see how you feel then

MM
Mountainmanbob is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 03:17 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
two weeks ago sunday, I feel great going to work, no roller coaster there, but when Im home i just dont want to do anything. sit and watch TV, just stare at tv
Sisterbobby is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 03:22 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
Be very kind to yourself, Sisterbobby. You truly are in an adjustment period.

Would reading a book provide any relief - nothing too deep or requiring too much concentration?

Warm soothing baths can change perspective as can an easy walk.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 03:33 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
I do have many stressor in my life, but nothing seriously terminal. My son moved to Tennessee and daughter (professional student) getting married here in a few months. Just got over negotiating a land contract between siblings. I have a great job. Make good money. I should be happy. I think the longest I have gone with out drinking in 26 days and I felt nothing, just a big nothing and wanted to do nothing...



Thanks Soberleigh, I will try to be kind to myself, i like that advice...
Sisterbobby is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 03:42 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Sisterbobby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
I have been thinking about going to an AA meeting, however, my father drank, so should I go to An Anon meeting?
Sisterbobby is offline  
Old 01-18-2015, 03:56 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,047
why not both if you feel you have both personal and family issues with alcoholism?

D
Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:13 PM.