always been there
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
It sounds like you could benefit from both.
I am a member of both Al Anon and AA (people like us are called Double Winners) and you will find quite a few of us on SR.
Here is my suggestion for you: Why don't you attend AA exclusively for 3 months and really focus on your own sobriety. During that time, if you need support regarding your relationship you can always post on the F&F forum (you ll also find tons of support on this side of the street).
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Once you have 3 months and have found your ground with your sobriety then check out Al Anon.
Some big cities have "Double Winners" meetings too.
Anyway it is nice to have you here. Congratulations on 2 weeks and remember:
I am a member of both Al Anon and AA (people like us are called Double Winners) and you will find quite a few of us on SR.
Here is my suggestion for you: Why don't you attend AA exclusively for 3 months and really focus on your own sobriety. During that time, if you need support regarding your relationship you can always post on the F&F forum (you ll also find tons of support on this side of the street).
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Once you have 3 months and have found your ground with your sobriety then check out Al Anon.
Some big cities have "Double Winners" meetings too.
Anyway it is nice to have you here. Congratulations on 2 weeks and remember:
We can quit drinking and stay sober whether our loved ones are still drinking or not!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Sisterbobby 
I have been thinking about going to an AA meeting
I could stay sober without going to AA, but why stop doing what has worked in the past.
Mountainman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
I think I will. I know I have family issues, but to realize them in yourself is hard. I will find a far away place to go to one.
I made another night. I have a half bottle of Gin in pantry. I will or will not flush it today.
I made another night. I have a half bottle of Gin in pantry. I will or will not flush it today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
what is normal? I have converstions with some co-workers and they are surprised to hear someone actually drinks 2 to 3 beers a night...It makes me wonder what world they live in or what world I do not live in or even know exist. What is normal?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
don't worry about normal is my advice.
You obviously feel your drinking is a problem...I'd roll with that instead.
I'd tip out that half bottle of gin. Why keep it?
Hope you feel better soon - it takes a little while...most of us drank for years...try and be patient
D
You obviously feel your drinking is a problem...I'd roll with that instead.
I'd tip out that half bottle of gin. Why keep it?
Hope you feel better soon - it takes a little while...most of us drank for years...try and be patient
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
Hi sisterbobby I am glad you are looking for advice, many don't.
I am with Dee on not worrying about what is normal, because that doesn't exist. For some it is normal to not drink ever. For some it is normal to drink 2 beers once or twice a week. For some it is normal to drink a fifth of vodka every night for the last 20 years.
If drinking is causing you issues, focus on that. I sometimes would love to have a cold beer during a round of golf, but I can't. Once that feeling gets back in, it is back to nightly 12 beers and a bunch of pot for me. I now this because I tested it
It sounds like being at home is causing you a lot of issues with the drinking husband. Both types of meetings sounds like a good plan for you in my opinion. For me, it would be impossible to be working on being sober, if I came home to a drunk every night. I would pretty quickly go into "F IT" mode, and be drinking again.
Stay strong, there is a way put for all of us, we just have to find that path that works for us, as individuals.
I am glad you are looking for advice, many don't.I am with Dee on not worrying about what is normal, because that doesn't exist. For some it is normal to not drink ever. For some it is normal to drink 2 beers once or twice a week. For some it is normal to drink a fifth of vodka every night for the last 20 years.
If drinking is causing you issues, focus on that. I sometimes would love to have a cold beer during a round of golf, but I can't. Once that feeling gets back in, it is back to nightly 12 beers and a bunch of pot for me. I now this because I tested it
It sounds like being at home is causing you a lot of issues with the drinking husband. Both types of meetings sounds like a good plan for you in my opinion. For me, it would be impossible to be working on being sober, if I came home to a drunk every night. I would pretty quickly go into "F IT" mode, and be drinking again.
Stay strong, there is a way put for all of us, we just have to find that path that works for us, as individuals.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Woke up with no Gin in house. Yeah
My husband choice of drink in vodka and normally there is a partial bottle under the bar at all times...I am known to drink that too!
My husband and I are not really talking right now, at a party a few weeks ago, my daughter called me, my husband (step father to my daughter) answered my phone as a Chinese restaurant, first time was a joke, maybe second time, but he did it four times. The fifth time I answered the phone (I was away from my phone when he did this). My daughter was so hurt. There is more to this story. I had to convince my daughter that it was a harmless joke, but truthfully i was very angry and I did let my husband know. My husband used my daughter for a few laughs while sitting around the table with in-laws. One time, ok, two times, fine, but four times...Sometimes, I feel my husband does things like this just to get the attention off his drinking. Well, anyway, thanks to you all, I will not worry about him. I am the one that needs the attention from me. I am more then I can handle right now. I love my husband, but I cant fix his problems. I made another night.
It is time for me to stop kidding to myself. I am a binge drinker. I can not control it and I hate that part of me. Alcohol has 'always been there' and it's time for me to remove it from me and live my life.
My husband choice of drink in vodka and normally there is a partial bottle under the bar at all times...I am known to drink that too!
My husband and I are not really talking right now, at a party a few weeks ago, my daughter called me, my husband (step father to my daughter) answered my phone as a Chinese restaurant, first time was a joke, maybe second time, but he did it four times. The fifth time I answered the phone (I was away from my phone when he did this). My daughter was so hurt. There is more to this story. I had to convince my daughter that it was a harmless joke, but truthfully i was very angry and I did let my husband know. My husband used my daughter for a few laughs while sitting around the table with in-laws. One time, ok, two times, fine, but four times...Sometimes, I feel my husband does things like this just to get the attention off his drinking. Well, anyway, thanks to you all, I will not worry about him. I am the one that needs the attention from me. I am more then I can handle right now. I love my husband, but I cant fix his problems. I made another night.
It is time for me to stop kidding to myself. I am a binge drinker. I can not control it and I hate that part of me. Alcohol has 'always been there' and it's time for me to remove it from me and live my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
I finally wrote a letter to my family. I have been wanting to tell them this for years. There are nine of us and all like to drink, some more then others.
"Hi to all my siblings,
First I want to introduce myself. My name Is Debby and I am an alcoholic. I am a binge drinking. I can not control my intake. When I start drinking I normally do not stop until it puts me down and i hate that about myself. I have started visiting an on line sobriety group. I am surprised that it has really helped me. the hardest thing is to be true to yourself. I have to care less about how I feel how others see me, but look at me from outside in and really explore me. Find out who I am with out alcohol. One may say, i do not drink that often, but when I do it is binge drinking and I hate not having control. I am into week 3 with my sobriety. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!
I lived a very precarious life as a child and young adult. I am lucky to be alive. Im surprised that I have started visiting this on line sobriety group voluntarily in my later years, it should have been mandatoried many years ago. But I am still #@# here. I was ganged raped in Arizona in my late teens. I went to a bar, got so drunk and woke up in a whole lot of trouble. But I am still #%@# alive. A lot of crap has happening to me, i was really never a druggy, did a little but never shot up…Yeah…Yes, I did grow up, have a great job, live an independent life, but it still involves alcohol. The one thing that has caused the problem is still here. ugh...
I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way due to my drinking.
love you all"
OKAY, some of my dark sadness is no longer just mine. My secret is out.
"Hi to all my siblings,
First I want to introduce myself. My name Is Debby and I am an alcoholic. I am a binge drinking. I can not control my intake. When I start drinking I normally do not stop until it puts me down and i hate that about myself. I have started visiting an on line sobriety group. I am surprised that it has really helped me. the hardest thing is to be true to yourself. I have to care less about how I feel how others see me, but look at me from outside in and really explore me. Find out who I am with out alcohol. One may say, i do not drink that often, but when I do it is binge drinking and I hate not having control. I am into week 3 with my sobriety. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!
I lived a very precarious life as a child and young adult. I am lucky to be alive. Im surprised that I have started visiting this on line sobriety group voluntarily in my later years, it should have been mandatoried many years ago. But I am still #@# here. I was ganged raped in Arizona in my late teens. I went to a bar, got so drunk and woke up in a whole lot of trouble. But I am still #%@# alive. A lot of crap has happening to me, i was really never a druggy, did a little but never shot up…Yeah…Yes, I did grow up, have a great job, live an independent life, but it still involves alcohol. The one thing that has caused the problem is still here. ugh...
I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way due to my drinking.
love you all"
OKAY, some of my dark sadness is no longer just mine. My secret is out.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 596
Let it out sister, it doesn't do anything but harm you by keeping it to yourself.
I wrote a similar letter. It didn't go over so well, but it brought where I was at in life out into the open. I tucked my head in and put my helmet and parachute on... but nothing bad happened. I wish the same for you.
I wrote a similar letter. It didn't go over so well, but it brought where I was at in life out into the open. I tucked my head in and put my helmet and parachute on... but nothing bad happened. I wish the same for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: NW Missouri
Posts: 81
You're brave and I'll take all the inspiration I can get from others' stories. I did have to giggle when I read....
A few months ago I bought a 2015 calendar, so my calendar for this month say, "Wine is Life" I may go find another canlendar.
I'd just been wondering what the heck to do with all the "Wine" motif gifts I've gotten thru the years?
A few months ago I bought a 2015 calendar, so my calendar for this month say, "Wine is Life" I may go find another canlendar.
I'd just been wondering what the heck to do with all the "Wine" motif gifts I've gotten thru the years?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Made another weekend! Feel better mentally and physically! Starting to get out of the zombie state of being. Helped daughter clean windows yesterday and drove son back to airport. Had a few tough moments driving by the store this week, wanted to stop and get a bottle...
Good for you Ann. We are in this together. Never fall to never get back up again.
I have an electric wine opener...do I unplug it
Good for you Ann. We are in this together. Never fall to never get back up again.
I have an electric wine opener...do I unplug it
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