The secret to sobriety is this...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: San Diego
Posts: 94
The secret to sobriety is this...
Hello everyone, I know what the secret to sobriety is and how you can obtain it easily. I read this forum quite a lot now and I notice that a lot of people here end up relapsing for various circumstances. So I want to share this secret with you.
Hear me out; I too struggled with alcohol. I curbed my other addictions like nicotine by myself, but when it came to alcohol, I couldn't. The crazy thing about alcohol is that, it was never really physically addicting, but it was more mental; the very habit was ingrained into our minds.
Hence, the very thought of never drinking again would spark a sense of fear and panic into us. This is a different type of addiction, a scary one. You can go a long time being sober, but then, like all of you already know, one impulse decision ruins it all. Your determination ends up being crushed, shame engulfs you, and you become more and more confused as how this inanimate liquid keeps besting you even though you KNOW you can beat the addiction, yet it always bests you.
Bear with me, I'm trying to figure out how to explain this story. You see, this same pattern happened to me as well; I would go 30 days being sober, then I would become angry/resentful at whatever the stressful situation was at the time, and I would relapse. I could never get passed 30 days. And now it was starting to really **** me off..
This is how the answer was slowly uncovered:
I would frequently go to a friends house to drink and hang out, now, he also had a neighbor. This neighbor was a Christian, and the first time I ran into him was at the gas station, where he came up to me while I was filling up the tank, and started mildly talking about God, nothing to intense.
Anyways as the days continued, I would run into him on the neighborhood street when I would park my car so I can go drink at my friend's place. As we started talking more and more, he mentioned that he used to be in the army and a very heavy alcoholic with the other soldiers.
One day he said, in his barracks, he got up, got on one knee, and prayed to Jesus for help, he did not want to drink anymore.
He said, that very same day, when he asked for help, the very desire to drink left. He had no desire to drink anymore and had been sober for over 30 years now.
Me, being in my twenties and knowing the grasp of addiction, listened to his story, but also believed that it takes much effort from the individual to overcome addiction, "Well it takes effort from the person as well." Were my exact words when he told me that story.
And he shook his head, smiling, he said, "No, I'm telling you, the very desire left."
I didn't know what he was talking about, I mean, I do believe there is God, but also that addiction needed to be overcome by the individual, not by God.
And this entire time, I too had been trying to curb alcohol for 2-3 years now, but failing every time.
One day, I had 30 days of sober time, this was earlier this year. Finally, 30 long days of sobriety again, the snow ball of sobriety was growing. That didn't last long because I relapsed again due to anger and resentment, which ended in a 3 day long, embarrassing binge.
While being at my friend's, I didn't care for the shame, I just drank. But when I went home, and had quiet time to reflect on my actions, I felt the weight of my actions, I felt horrendous.
Once again I ruined a perfectly good streak of 30 days, I felt depressed, anger, hopeless, and ashamed I lost again.
That entire time, I was doing research/reading these forums. I had been also slowly reading the Big Book of AA.
And I noticed a pattern. Every character of the AA Book had one singular solution to their alcohol problem. They asked God for help.
So here I am, at the end of my wits, sitting outside in the sun, ashamed, thinking about what the neighbor said, and also thinking about what the characters of the Big Book did. And finally followed the same method.
I kept it short and simple, my very words were, "Lord, find it in your heart to forgive me, and help me..."
That's all I said, still skeptical, not of God's existence, but of God helping me with this addiction.
That was over 3 months ago and I will tell you from the bottom of my heart, that I have and had no desire to drink. It was that easy.
The very phrase, "I will never drink again," does not frighten me anymore.
The secret to sobriety is Jesus Christ. Ask him for help. I have an important message for everyone, a message that goes beyond even this post.
Please take a moment to view my youtube video; if you have doubts of God's existence, watch my video please:
it is titled (since I can't link anything due to 15 post minimum rule):
The Father's name is Jesus Christ. There is no trinity. Proof of God.
Hear me out; I too struggled with alcohol. I curbed my other addictions like nicotine by myself, but when it came to alcohol, I couldn't. The crazy thing about alcohol is that, it was never really physically addicting, but it was more mental; the very habit was ingrained into our minds.
Hence, the very thought of never drinking again would spark a sense of fear and panic into us. This is a different type of addiction, a scary one. You can go a long time being sober, but then, like all of you already know, one impulse decision ruins it all. Your determination ends up being crushed, shame engulfs you, and you become more and more confused as how this inanimate liquid keeps besting you even though you KNOW you can beat the addiction, yet it always bests you.
Bear with me, I'm trying to figure out how to explain this story. You see, this same pattern happened to me as well; I would go 30 days being sober, then I would become angry/resentful at whatever the stressful situation was at the time, and I would relapse. I could never get passed 30 days. And now it was starting to really **** me off..
This is how the answer was slowly uncovered:
I would frequently go to a friends house to drink and hang out, now, he also had a neighbor. This neighbor was a Christian, and the first time I ran into him was at the gas station, where he came up to me while I was filling up the tank, and started mildly talking about God, nothing to intense.
Anyways as the days continued, I would run into him on the neighborhood street when I would park my car so I can go drink at my friend's place. As we started talking more and more, he mentioned that he used to be in the army and a very heavy alcoholic with the other soldiers.
One day he said, in his barracks, he got up, got on one knee, and prayed to Jesus for help, he did not want to drink anymore.
He said, that very same day, when he asked for help, the very desire to drink left. He had no desire to drink anymore and had been sober for over 30 years now.
Me, being in my twenties and knowing the grasp of addiction, listened to his story, but also believed that it takes much effort from the individual to overcome addiction, "Well it takes effort from the person as well." Were my exact words when he told me that story.
And he shook his head, smiling, he said, "No, I'm telling you, the very desire left."
I didn't know what he was talking about, I mean, I do believe there is God, but also that addiction needed to be overcome by the individual, not by God.
And this entire time, I too had been trying to curb alcohol for 2-3 years now, but failing every time.
One day, I had 30 days of sober time, this was earlier this year. Finally, 30 long days of sobriety again, the snow ball of sobriety was growing. That didn't last long because I relapsed again due to anger and resentment, which ended in a 3 day long, embarrassing binge.
While being at my friend's, I didn't care for the shame, I just drank. But when I went home, and had quiet time to reflect on my actions, I felt the weight of my actions, I felt horrendous.
Once again I ruined a perfectly good streak of 30 days, I felt depressed, anger, hopeless, and ashamed I lost again.
That entire time, I was doing research/reading these forums. I had been also slowly reading the Big Book of AA.
And I noticed a pattern. Every character of the AA Book had one singular solution to their alcohol problem. They asked God for help.
So here I am, at the end of my wits, sitting outside in the sun, ashamed, thinking about what the neighbor said, and also thinking about what the characters of the Big Book did. And finally followed the same method.
I kept it short and simple, my very words were, "Lord, find it in your heart to forgive me, and help me..."
That's all I said, still skeptical, not of God's existence, but of God helping me with this addiction.
That was over 3 months ago and I will tell you from the bottom of my heart, that I have and had no desire to drink. It was that easy.
The very phrase, "I will never drink again," does not frighten me anymore.
The secret to sobriety is Jesus Christ. Ask him for help. I have an important message for everyone, a message that goes beyond even this post.
Please take a moment to view my youtube video; if you have doubts of God's existence, watch my video please:
it is titled (since I can't link anything due to 15 post minimum rule):
The Father's name is Jesus Christ. There is no trinity. Proof of God.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
AMEN! There is so much power in his name! He is my medicine and my healer! My struggles with alcohol are always when I let myself drift from him. ( not praying, staying in the word, doing devotionals,). He never is far though. He prays on our behalf! It's amazing the way he puts things in my life to help me through it. Love this post. Love Jesus!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
"...The secret to sobriety is this........Jesus.......?
I think you might get an argument from most of my recovered friends; they're mostly Jewish and/or Atheists...........no Jesus in their recovery, and all with 30-40+ years of sobriety/recovery. Unless you're going to say that they weren't really alcoholics (oh, yes they were), and/or they're not really sober/recovered now (oh, yes they are). In which case, we'd be locked into some circular discussion.................with no escape. aaaccccckkkkkk!!!!!!
(o:
NoelleR
P.S. Actually, you probably wouldn't get an argument from most of them; they could care less what you believe..............unless you try to tell others it's what they need..........then.........that means WAR, baby............
(o:
I think you might get an argument from most of my recovered friends; they're mostly Jewish and/or Atheists...........no Jesus in their recovery, and all with 30-40+ years of sobriety/recovery. Unless you're going to say that they weren't really alcoholics (oh, yes they were), and/or they're not really sober/recovered now (oh, yes they are). In which case, we'd be locked into some circular discussion.................with no escape. aaaccccckkkkkk!!!!!!
(o:
NoelleR
P.S. Actually, you probably wouldn't get an argument from most of them; they could care less what you believe..............unless you try to tell others it's what they need..........then.........that means WAR, baby............
(o:
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Welcome to SR.
I am glad that you found something which works for you. SR is unique in the sense that it is a recovery site where people using many different methods/programs come together to share their experience, strength and hope, help the newcomers and engage in respectful (albeit sometimes heated) discussions of what works for them.
There is a section for Christian in Recovery that you might like to check out
Christians In Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I am glad that you found something which works for you. SR is unique in the sense that it is a recovery site where people using many different methods/programs come together to share their experience, strength and hope, help the newcomers and engage in respectful (albeit sometimes heated) discussions of what works for them.
There is a section for Christian in Recovery that you might like to check out
Christians In Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
I don't want this to sound harsh because I'm really glad to meet you and that you're here OE. I sure hope it doesn't come across wrong but I don't know how things are today as it was nearly 30 years ago attending a BB meeting I was told not to mention Jesus at the tables. Since these boards are kind of like meeting tables, I'm going to pass on what I was told. For those of us who find Jesus one of our personal Heros, we see that much of the AA program is taken right from His words so I was always pointing that out. I was told not to because many, many, alcoholics have developed a bitter taste due to the condemnations and judgements of His followers who haven't, as yet, really understood and practiced His words. In other words, many alcoholics equated Him with various Christian religions which we both know He really had nothing to do with. They were all built up around Him and the religions are not Him. So while well intended and hoping to be helpful the very mention of His name at a table can boomerang into something negative and actually harmful in some cases.
I'm so happy to hear of your spiritual experience. Thank you for sharing that. I had one similar where the desire to drink and the unrelenting taste of booze in my mouth was removed instantaneously when I reached out to God in desperation. I'm a "real alcoholic" but have not desired a drink since then and that was during my first 30 days.
Just between you and me, (I probably should just PM this but I've never done that)... anyway.... I'm afraid I don't agree with you on one thing. I'm not trinitarian so that should explain but, further, "trinitarian" implies religion and I'm not religious at all. I'm not against them though. I just prefer to walk my own path and "go direct" so to speak. When I am in the throws of something or other... usually fear... it blocks my ability to hear God clearly. That's when I talk to Jesus who has walked this earth and knows all its pit falls. He's like a buddy I talk with... works every time so, yeh, He's my Hero. From knowing Him as I do, He's still going to be there for me regardless of who I think He is... splitting hairs is a human need... not His. On the other hand, when I'm in a good place which is most often, I talk with God and listen to Him. So... whatever works. Congratulations on finding your way with His help.
I'm so happy to hear of your spiritual experience. Thank you for sharing that. I had one similar where the desire to drink and the unrelenting taste of booze in my mouth was removed instantaneously when I reached out to God in desperation. I'm a "real alcoholic" but have not desired a drink since then and that was during my first 30 days.
Just between you and me, (I probably should just PM this but I've never done that)... anyway.... I'm afraid I don't agree with you on one thing. I'm not trinitarian so that should explain but, further, "trinitarian" implies religion and I'm not religious at all. I'm not against them though. I just prefer to walk my own path and "go direct" so to speak. When I am in the throws of something or other... usually fear... it blocks my ability to hear God clearly. That's when I talk to Jesus who has walked this earth and knows all its pit falls. He's like a buddy I talk with... works every time so, yeh, He's my Hero. From knowing Him as I do, He's still going to be there for me regardless of who I think He is... splitting hairs is a human need... not His. On the other hand, when I'm in a good place which is most often, I talk with God and listen to Him. So... whatever works. Congratulations on finding your way with His help.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
We all have different views.
I hope it's possible to discuss these things here without 'your belief is wrong' or 'my belief is the only way' or 'my belief can beat up your belief' type discussions
Dee
Moderator
SR
I hope it's possible to discuss these things here without 'your belief is wrong' or 'my belief is the only way' or 'my belief can beat up your belief' type discussions
Dee
Moderator
SR
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Thank you! Congrats on your sober time.
I cant speak for others but, I believe my sobriety is by Gods grace.I tried for years on my own.Now, I pray every morning "PLEASE keep me sober today" I thank God every night for it. This is way to much for me to do on my own!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Merry Christmas!
I cant speak for others but, I believe my sobriety is by Gods grace.I tried for years on my own.Now, I pray every morning "PLEASE keep me sober today" I thank God every night for it. This is way to much for me to do on my own!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Merry Christmas!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
There was no secret to my recovery, the extent of my drinking was actually the secret that I kept from everyone ( including myself ).
Being honest was the solution - honesty with myself, my family and realizing my addiction for what it really was. Some find that through AA/NA, some use their faith, some use "secular" methods, there are many. I'm glad you have found a way that works for you.
Being honest was the solution - honesty with myself, my family and realizing my addiction for what it really was. Some find that through AA/NA, some use their faith, some use "secular" methods, there are many. I'm glad you have found a way that works for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
I have a wonderful relationship with my higher power, and believe that he is able to miraculously set someone free from addiction, or he can use a 12-step or any other program and "ramp it up" where it works a lot faster and more thoroughly.
I believe in a higher power who tries to help and bless people who don't even acknowledge him, because he is all loving. He helps us when we ask, even if we don't know him very well.
Since I wanted to know my higher power intimately and personally, I asked to really KNOW HIM, not my idea of what he should be. I also base this knowledge on the 2,000 years of history carried forward by the denomination I belong to. In my case, this teaches me that he is part of the Trinity, and his name is Jesus of Nazareth.
I believe in a higher power who tries to help and bless people who don't even acknowledge him, because he is all loving. He helps us when we ask, even if we don't know him very well.
Since I wanted to know my higher power intimately and personally, I asked to really KNOW HIM, not my idea of what he should be. I also base this knowledge on the 2,000 years of history carried forward by the denomination I belong to. In my case, this teaches me that he is part of the Trinity, and his name is Jesus of Nazareth.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Congratulations on 3 months :-)
My sobriety is grounded in faith, prayer and connection; but I haven't experienced the instantaneous deliverance that you did. Rather, my experience has been slow growth in learning to experience God's grace through reaching out to others for help and support. When I'm connected with others and we start to share, sometimes I'm amazed by the insights that come out of that along with the realization of how blind I am to my own human condition.
My sobriety is grounded in faith, prayer and connection; but I haven't experienced the instantaneous deliverance that you did. Rather, my experience has been slow growth in learning to experience God's grace through reaching out to others for help and support. When I'm connected with others and we start to share, sometimes I'm amazed by the insights that come out of that along with the realization of how blind I am to my own human condition.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
Just to clarify: the "instantaneous" spiritual experience is referring to removing the desire to drink... not sobriety which takes Step work. Its also referring to an experience I describe as miraculous because nothing previous to it.. and I had experienced them before... made a firm believer in His existence out of this alcoholic anyway. Previous to that, I could always do a number on myself and explain them away or over time just forget about them. In fact, that miraculous experience is exactly what made me even want to continue with the Steps wholeheartedly without fear of some of them... like the 4th. Ultimately, I believe we're all walking the path we need to and God aides us on it. Some of us may need a "miracle" while others don't. That's how I look at it anyway.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I believe Jesus is a path and he happens to be my path but I do not believe Christianity is the only spritual path. I do not claim to understand the mystery of my higher power or the universe in general
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