Ugh... Back Again
Just me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 9
Ugh... Back Again
I asked my account ThatHombre be deleted. I was feeling cocky and that I didn't need support anymore. Boy was I wrong.
I've been going to AA, reading the Big Book, and working the steps with my sponsor. In spite of all that, I find myself drinking every few days. I can go 3 or 4 days and then BAM! One night of tying one on.
I have no idea why I am doing this. It's not due to anxiety or depression. I feel good and just want to drink. Maybe it's just me being selfish and arrogant. I really do want to stop. The hangovers are brutal these days.
Anyways, glad to be back. Hope y'all forgive me.
I've been going to AA, reading the Big Book, and working the steps with my sponsor. In spite of all that, I find myself drinking every few days. I can go 3 or 4 days and then BAM! One night of tying one on.
I have no idea why I am doing this. It's not due to anxiety or depression. I feel good and just want to drink. Maybe it's just me being selfish and arrogant. I really do want to stop. The hangovers are brutal these days.
Anyways, glad to be back. Hope y'all forgive me.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Tim. I'm not a regular at AA; but I'm a firm believer in the concept behind step one. Once I accepted that the first drink is never, ever an option things got a lot easier.
Just me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 9
Thanks guys.
I'm heading out to a meeting in 30 minutes. Will go to the 6pm one, too.
As lousy as I feel today, I need to go. I really have found a home there. Many people I've met I now call "friends."
I need to own up. I'm not scared to admit to them I've been struggling.
I will keep trying.
I'm heading out to a meeting in 30 minutes. Will go to the 6pm one, too.
As lousy as I feel today, I need to go. I really have found a home there. Many people I've met I now call "friends."
I need to own up. I'm not scared to admit to them I've been struggling.
I will keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
I am glad you're back. I've been where you're at. A few years ago, I was sober for 13 days, thought I was doing great and that I didn't have a problem, and went back to drinking. I have learned to watch for that and to remain vigilant.
Just me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 9
Meeting was good. Got a new 24 hour chip. Met with my sponsor for an hour after.
He said he thinks I'm emotionally numb due to my past. Drudged up lots of feelings I thought I'd moved past.
I have new homework to do.
Thanks for listening!
He said he thinks I'm emotionally numb due to my past. Drudged up lots of feelings I thought I'd moved past.
I have new homework to do.
Thanks for listening!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome back McTim 
For me feeling good was as much of a reason to drink as feeling bad was - or sad, angry, scared, apathetic....
sometimes it's best to cut to the chase and say I drink because I'm addicted.
If that hit you in the gut, like it hit me in the gut when I first realised and accepted it, that's a good thing.
The path to not ever drinking again starts there
D
For me feeling good was as much of a reason to drink as feeling bad was - or sad, angry, scared, apathetic....
sometimes it's best to cut to the chase and say I drink because I'm addicted.
If that hit you in the gut, like it hit me in the gut when I first realised and accepted it, that's a good thing.
The path to not ever drinking again starts there
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
hey tim. theres a book called Staying Sober. Its about relapses. There are worksheets that help you identify why you go back to it. Could be helpful..
I agree acceptance is where its at. My alcoholic brain could never accept that drinking wasnt a good fit anymore. I had to take it to a "higher authority" Alot of prayer my friend.
I agree acceptance is where its at. My alcoholic brain could never accept that drinking wasnt a good fit anymore. I had to take it to a "higher authority" Alot of prayer my friend.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I did the same thing for years, except I'd drink moderately for a week or two, then quit again. But getting past 3 or 4 days was hard. That's the physical craving, which for me peaked at about 4-5 days. If you can step back and see the bigger picture you will know sooner or later you have to quit for good. When the time is right you will be able to do it.
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