Need sober friends - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-20-2014, 07:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Allentown,pa
Posts: 396

Need sober friends


Hi, I'll be 5 months sober next week and I'm very proud of that,
but geez I'm so lonely. I avoid situations that aren't good for me and just don't Appeal to me anymore.
But even when I go hang out with friends on weekends they are drinking an I just can't relate anymore or their just on a different page because their drunk. I don't have any urge to go back to that lifestyle but I'm just so lost, I feel like I have no one.
I guess I just pray for a miracle. Hope everyone is doing good!
__________________
Today I take all of the credit like I did away with modesty
MyTime86 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MyTime86 For This Useful Post:
brynn (12-20-2014), MythOfSisyphus (12-22-2014), owington (12-20-2014)
Old 12-20-2014, 07:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
Be Someone - Jake Bugg
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,467
Blog Entries: 4
MyTime 5 months is Fantastic well done !

stick close and are you on the 24hthread ? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-30-a.html

great way to make friends
Soberwolf is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
MyTime86 (12-20-2014)
Old 12-20-2014, 07:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 177,471
Blog Entries: 1
Hi my time - it took me a little time to build a sober life - I think you're pretty much where I was at that point.

what kinds of things do you do in your life that involve you meeting new people?

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2014, 07:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 177,471
Blog Entries: 1
.
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2014, 07:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Allentown,pa
Posts: 396
Well dee, I don't do enough I work 2nd shift all week so that keep me away for the outside world 5 days a week and then the weekend everyone I know drinks.
Living in the northeast doesn't help, winter limits how much you can do beside hibernate and/or go out to clubs
__________________
Today I take all of the credit like I did away with modesty
MyTime86 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MyTime86 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-20-2014)
Old 12-20-2014, 07:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Hereandnow2's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 461
I have met sober friends at AA meetings and that has changed things for me a lot. Have you gone to AA?
Hereandnow2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Hereandnow2 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-20-2014)
Old 12-20-2014, 07:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Joe Nerv's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,858
Blog Entries: 2
A big reason for my drinking was that I was a social misfit. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and alcohol helped me fit in perfectly. Until it stopped working.

When I first stopped I honestly didn't believe there was any kind of social life to be had that didn't involve drinking. Luckily for me, I accepted AA as part of my cure and dove into it completely. For the first year AA WAS my social life. I learned through the people there that I COULD actually do things, and enjoy myself, without alcohol. Simple things, like going to diners, movies, bowling, camping trips, dances... even sober clubs that they had at the time. What I realize in retrospect, was that the fellowship part of AA was like an excellent set of training wheels. They helped me learn to function without feeling the need to have a glass in my hand. I had tons of support from people just like me, who understood and had experience living in a sober world.

Wasn't until my 2nd year sober that I started to immerse myself in the "real" world again. And a year after that I was making friends and getting involved in all sorts of things I wasn't even interested in while drinking. Once I had a sold resolve about not drinking, and wasn't uncomfortable socializing without alcohol, I began to attract more and more non drinking people into my life.

Today I'm happily married to an awesome, non alcoholic woman who has 3 drinks a year at most. I have friends in AA, friends outside of AA, and I have a much more interesting and exciting life than I ever did drinking. I do much more socializing too.

I wouldn't have that without the friendship and guidance of the people I met in AA. It's one of the many benefits I got out of going there, and one of the reasons I'm really grateful I'm not one of the people who was able to do this on my own. I absolutely couldn't, and that was a very good thing - for me.
Joe Nerv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2014, 08:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
Living Sober
 
Lusher's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey MyTime86-

I can absolutely relate to what you're saying. Even the comment about hanging out with your friends on the weekends. Spot on, as far as my life as well.

But as Dee said, it does take a bit of time to build your sober life. This is something which I'm still dealing with myself, and it is getting easier, so hang in there. I think you'll begin to see a difference in time as well.


Lusher
__________________
"Falling Down is an accident. Staying down is a choice."
~LiveStrong

Rocken sobriety since 08.05.13
Lusher is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lusher For This Useful Post:
LBrain (12-20-2014)
Old 12-20-2014, 08:20 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,007
Blog Entries: 2
congrats on 5 months - I was where your are 7 months ago. I had much different circumstances surrounding my life. Before I quit drinking I worked the craziest hours imaginable. I had no outside life from work and then spending off days with people I worked with. Then, no job, work 'friends' avoided me. I spend an awful lot of time on my own. I took the proverbial 'year off' from a lot of things. But I went fishing on my own. It's a secluded kind of thing anyway. I am just now starting to seek out new things. It takes time to find your sober self. I'm much older than you. I understand how drinking is part of the social norm for your age group.
Give yourself time. Try to find new interests if you can. I just got into learning a new instrument. Try to find a hiking club or something in your area - I know they exist.
Take a ride up to Hawk Mountain and get some fresh air. The important thing is to be happy with who you are becoming. It's a journey. The more time you get the more you will begin to branch out into other interests. Don't get too frustrated. You are so young with so much time. Find yourself. Really.
__________________
Brain
I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.
LBrain is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LBrain For This Useful Post:
JanieJ (12-21-2014)
Old 12-21-2014, 08:35 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Allentown,pa
Posts: 396
Thanks for the comments. Very helpful
__________________
Today I take all of the credit like I did away with modesty
MyTime86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2014, 08:37 AM   #11 (permalink)
Marchia in Aeternum
 
trachemys's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 10,893
You're doing the rights things. Letting us know where you are and what you want. You'll probably get some contacts this way. Good for you for reaching out.
__________________
Other people have cared about me more than I cared for myself.

I owe them.
trachemys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2014, 08:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,047
Blog Entries: 42
Hi, MyTime.

Congrats on 5 months!

I've always been quite a lonely person, preferred keeping myself to myself.

In early sobriety SR friends became my real ones - so many awesome people here. This community saved me.

As for "real" life - I recently found a friend in the gym. She is a fitness trainer and doesn't drink either. About two months ago we went on vacations together and spent great time without a drop of alcohol.

There are places to find sober friends. Just give yourself some time. Try to change some of your habits. Revive some of your hobbies - with new changes new friend will come into your life.

Best wishes to you.

Keep posting)
__________________
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you made an incredibly bad decision.

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong

Hope is not a strategy, luck is not a factor, fear is not an option.
MidnightBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2014, 01:21 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,989
Hang in there, MyTime. Your life is changing and that's a good thing. Right now it looks like you're missing out because you've no experience with being social while sober. Now that life doesn't revolve around booze it will be an adjustment. But you can do it.
__________________
I realized I could probably go on drinking like this for maybe two or three more years, or live for another two or three decades...but not both. Suddenly the choice became crystal clear.
MythOfSisyphus is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MythOfSisyphus For This Useful Post:
MyTime86 (12-22-2014)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:55 PM.