MyTime86

Hi, I'll be 5 months sober next week and I'm very proud of that,
but geez I'm so lonely. I avoid situations that aren't good for me and just don't Appeal to me anymore.
But even when I go hang out with friends on weekends they are drinking an I just can't relate anymore or their just on a different page because their drunk. I don't have any urge to go back to that lifestyle but I'm just so lost, I feel like I have no one.
I guess I just pray for a miracle. Hope everyone is doing good!

Soberwolf

MyTime 5 months is Fantastic well done !

stick close and are you on the 24hthread ? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-30-a.html

great way to make friends

Dee74

Hi my time - it took me a little time to build a sober life - I think you're pretty much where I was at that point.

what kinds of things do you do in your life that involve you meeting new people?

D

Dee74

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MyTime86

Well dee, I don't do enough I work 2nd shift all week so that keep me away for the outside world 5 days a week and then the weekend everyone I know drinks.
Living in the northeast doesn't help, winter limits how much you can do beside hibernate and/or go out to clubs

Hereandnow2

I have met sober friends at AA meetings and that has changed things for me a lot. Have you gone to AA?

Joe Nerv

A big reason for my drinking was that I was a social misfit. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and alcohol helped me fit in perfectly. Until it stopped working.

When I first stopped I honestly didn't believe there was any kind of social life to be had that didn't involve drinking. Luckily for me, I accepted AA as part of my cure and dove into it completely. For the first year AA WAS my social life. I learned through the people there that I COULD actually do things, and enjoy myself, without alcohol. Simple things, like going to diners, movies, bowling, camping trips, dances... even sober clubs that they had at the time. What I realize in retrospect, was that the fellowship part of AA was like an excellent set of training wheels. They helped me learn to function without feeling the need to have a glass in my hand. I had tons of support from people just like me, who understood and had experience living in a sober world.

Wasn't until my 2nd year sober that I started to immerse myself in the "real" world again. And a year after that I was making friends and getting involved in all sorts of things I wasn't even interested in while drinking. Once I had a sold resolve about not drinking, and wasn't uncomfortable socializing without alcohol, I began to attract more and more non drinking people into my life.

Today I'm happily married to an awesome, non alcoholic woman who has 3 drinks a year at most. I have friends in AA, friends outside of AA, and I have a much more interesting and exciting life than I ever did drinking. I do much more socializing too.

I wouldn't have that without the friendship and guidance of the people I met in AA. It's one of the many benefits I got out of going there, and one of the reasons I'm really grateful I'm not one of the people who was able to do this on my own. I absolutely couldn't, and that was a very good thing - for me.

Lusher

Hey MyTime86-

I can absolutely relate to what you're saying. Even the comment about hanging out with your friends on the weekends. Spot on, as far as my life as well.

But as Dee said, it does take a bit of time to build your sober life. This is something which I'm still dealing with myself, and it is getting easier, so hang in there. I think you'll begin to see a difference in time as well.


Lusher

LBrain

congrats on 5 months - I was where your are 7 months ago. I had much different circumstances surrounding my life. Before I quit drinking I worked the craziest hours imaginable. I had no outside life from work and then spending off days with people I worked with. Then, no job, work 'friends' avoided me. I spend an awful lot of time on my own. I took the proverbial 'year off' from a lot of things. But I went fishing on my own. It's a secluded kind of thing anyway. I am just now starting to seek out new things. It takes time to find your sober self. I'm much older than you. I understand how drinking is part of the social norm for your age group.
Give yourself time. Try to find new interests if you can. I just got into learning a new instrument. Try to find a hiking club or something in your area - I know they exist.
Take a ride up to Hawk Mountain and get some fresh air. The important thing is to be happy with who you are becoming. It's a journey. The more time you get the more you will begin to branch out into other interests. Don't get too frustrated. You are so young with so much time. Find yourself. Really.

MyTime86

Thanks for the comments. Very helpful

trachemys

You're doing the rights things. Letting us know where you are and what you want. You'll probably get some contacts this way. Good for you for reaching out.

MidnightBlue

Hi, MyTime.

Congrats on 5 months!

I've always been quite a lonely person, preferred keeping myself to myself.

In early sobriety SR friends became my real ones - so many awesome people here. This community saved me.

As for "real" life - I recently found a friend in the gym. She is a fitness trainer and doesn't drink either. About two months ago we went on vacations together and spent great time without a drop of alcohol.

There are places to find sober friends. Just give yourself some time. Try to change some of your habits. Revive some of your hobbies - with new changes new friend will come into your life.

Best wishes to you.

Keep posting)

MythOfSisyphus

Hang in there, MyTime. Your life is changing and that's a good thing. Right now it looks like you're missing out because you've no experience with being social while sober. Now that life doesn't revolve around booze it will be an adjustment. But you can do it.