Turtle82

Thank you for your honesty. This progressive disease took me from drinking at social outings to drinking at home... two glasses of wine in the evening to walking into walls after two bottles or more... I lived alone by then with no one monitoring me. I didn't know only alcoholics have blackouts and that the first sign was one at 17. But, then, that's not something you learn until you get around sober people. You bring up a good question: What come first, the chicken or the egg? Did I go from binging to at-home-drinking because I was surrounded by "social drinkers" or did I surround myself with them TO drink comfortably. I pray your journey is shorter than mine was and your bottom shallower for your sake and that of your family.

Edit: BTW, real social drinkers have no problem with people who simply say "No, thank you" to alcohol.

Livestronger

I have had this funny feeling all weekend that every time I think of my closest friends or folks associated to my social life I get this feeling of resentment and anger towards them yet they have done nothing to me at all. Is this normal?

Livestronger

For some reason I get the feeling that my wife does not want to support me in this discussion of quitting or moderating. Its really weird b/c she is my closest friend yet it does not seem that she wants to hear about my worries, struggles, fears with quitting etc..

rjask

paloverde's advice about just tying sobriety to understand the impact is smart.

I'm a few weeks in and I just feel better, emotionally, physically, and my relationship with my wife and daughter is better. That alone is an inducement to stay sober.

My recommendation is try it. Honestly try not drinking, and not worrying about grand life changes such as the impact on friendships, etc. Any friendships that can't survive you skipping booze aren't worth keeping. These friendships aren't built on stable foundations, and aren't worth worrying about.

SoberBike

LS I also think we tend to have FOMA (fear of missing out) when it comes to our social circles. I know I still struggle a bit with FOMA, I sometimes get resentful because im the sober one in the group now. It's a battle I choose to fight in order to keep my sobriety the number one priority.

Livestronger

We'll have not had a drink since Friday which is not that big a deal for me but honestly a little harder than I thought it would be. Skipped after hockey beers and wings to not be around it. So far so good. Was thinking of also looking at moderation management techniques after I have gone through some sobriety.

Livestronger

Well did not have a drink for 4 days Saturday to Tuesday. Christmas was at my house and I did a moderation program tracking my drinks. Had 4 drinks total over a 6 hr period. No problem at all. Did actually not feel like drinking much at all. Same next day on xmas day which was at my house. Had 3-4 drinks max. I have decided to abstain again for the next week or so instead of having a drink or two today as i might usually. I am tracking all of this daily. Also, got in a long jog almost 8 km on xmas day. Felt great. The problem I have is when going out with the boys or a group of social drinkers. I really need to moderate and ensure I can find the stop button. I will try this as well as abstinence for 30 days after the holidays and see how this works. If it does not i know what the next step is forsure.

Livestronger

Does anyone know the trick for the chat room? It says I need a java plug in. I installed all the latest versions. - Thx

PurpleKnight

Switching browsers sometimes does the trick for me, also make sure your browser is up to date too.

Chrome to Firefox usually sorts my access out!!

RedCasey

For myself I am able to be around people who are drinking and it doesn't bother me at all. I obviously don't hang around bars but if I have a good reason to be there (e.g. visiting friends from out of town) there is no problem. I was worried about this at first too but after about 50 days abstinence and working through the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (with a sponsor) I gave it a shot and found I did not even think about drinking.

For me I simply told my friends that I was quitting drinking. This also gave me a layer of accountability as it was an extra incentive to follow through on my program and not have them see me fail. Everyone was very supportive and understanding.

I enjoy social outings more now as I can concentrate on the people around me and not on how much I am drinking or worrying about if I am drinking too much, can I drive etc.

Best of luck.
RC

Tang

Let me know how that moderation thing goes. I've never managed to do it for long and it felt like another job with all the counting and worrying.

matilda123

One thought worth considering: alcohol for many folks is a kind of med, albeit one with some pretty nefarious side effects for some of us.

Livestronger

Good suggestions and feedback everyone. At some point I hope to be at a point of enough abstinence where I can enjoy social outings without drinking or at least not having to worry about drinking.

Dee74

did you work out chat livestronger?

D