Lance40

I have 40 days of sobriety today. It's a bit hard to say how I feel. It's been a roller coaster. I'm thankful I no longer have to plan my life around being hung over and that I don't have to struggle with that trapped feeling that I'm either drunk or dealing with the aftermath. That gives me a feeling of freedom. The sobriety work isn't always easy. I often feel fragile, uncertain and anxious as I learn to navigate life without using alcohol as a crutch. Earlier today I was walking home from work reading SR posts on my phone and was feeling kind of jazzed up that I didn't have to deal with the cravings that some people post about, and then not a minute later I walked by a liquor store and something in my brain clicked and every fibre of my being yearned for me to go inside and buy some holiday cheer. It left me a bit shaken to see how quickly things could go sideways. I'm in this for the long haul, and I'm glad to be here with you all.

ScottFromWI

Great work Lance, and congrats on staying strong at the store.

Fly N Buy

Great job on 40 days!!
Well done!

Ruby2

Well done on forty days, and thank you for your post. I'm glad you kept walking on by the liquor store. You do never know when temptation will strike.

SonomaGal

Good for you riding out that craving, I definitely remember feeling like I'm free, and then not 2 hours later being driven mad by thoughts of drinking. It will get easier, it just takes time. If you're anything like me, you will be breathing a big sigh of relief after the Holidaze are over!

LBrain

way to go Lance, good job on 40 days.

SoberLeigh

Congrats on 40 days, Lance. We are glad that you are here, too.

HOUMJM

Congratulations on 40 days !!!!!

WIP17

Way to stay strong and fight the AV! Congrats on 40 days!

fini

jazzed up that I didn't have to deal with the cravings that some people post about, and then not a minute later I walked by a liquor store and something in my brain clicked and every fibre of my being yearned for me to go inside and buy some holiday cheer. It left me a bit shaken to see how quickly things could go sideways.

yes. the suddenness of it...

but what i took from that is also this positive: something in the brain clicks, and turns over, and the sudden 'gottahavegottahavedrinkdrinkdrink' isn't real in a real sense.
okay, weird sentence.
it 'feels' real while you're in it. but it's just a click-turn of the brain.
it's automatic. it doesn't need to 'mean' anything. and it certainly doesn't require you to buy the stuff. as you know.

keep going.

Lance40

This exactly. It was like a "pre-sobriety" flashback. It was as if I instantaneously forgot that I was even sober and it was just the usual routine of me swinging by the liquor store to pick up a big bottle of vodka to get started on the weekend binge. I think that was the bit that made me shaky; it was so real but so unreal at the same time. There was no lead up and no internal battle.

Mark1014

Wow Lance, 40 days already! I've been following your progress and am so happy for you. Well done sir.

Lance40

It means a lot that you care. The kindness and support of SR folk has really been good for me. I find I have a bit the same experience in regard to others - I follow peoples' progress and even though I don't know them I feel happy and excited at their successes and feel concern if I get the sense they are struggling.

SarahB60

40 days is great progress! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Alwyshope12

Lance. I'm right around the same amount of time sober and I totally agree with you about often feeling fragile, uncertain and anxious. But i am feeling less and less of this ad time goes on. It's comforting to me to see someone going through the same battles I fught

JanieJ

Well done Lance, my friend

Congratulations to you on 40 days, that is awesome !

You're doing so great !

Dee74

awesome Lance - well done

D

Soberwolf

Well done Lance