Fear of Failure! Fear of Relapse! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 12-19-2014, 03:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Fear of Failure! Fear of Relapse!


Good Day Everyone,

I went to 2 meetings today but I have a Question for the SR Community.

Must all us Alcoholics, live in Fear of the next Relapse for the rest of our lives.

I am just struggling accepting this because of the events that occurred to me last week.

I feel so afraid. Is it something I just have to accept even though everyone keeps saying you never have to feel like that again.

Thank you for everything SR and the good people here.
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:05 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Fear is not good. I think vigilance is healthier.
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
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hi MS
I think fear is pretty common in the early days but you'll soon learn that if you want to stay sober, there's no power on earth that can compel you to take that next drink if you don't want to

It may be a little hard to believe that right now, but give yourself a little time - your belief in yourself will grow I promise.

D
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I have no fear of the next - first - relapse. It's totally out of the question for me.

Think positive.
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thepatman View Post
Fear is not good. I think vigilance is healthier.
Thanks Patman! I am just so afraid of what I have become and sometimes I feel as Fear is a great motivator. Accepting everything the way it is and becoming vigilant in this quest is a better path.
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
hi MS
I think fear is pretty common in the early days but you'll soon learn that if you want to stay sober, there's no power on earth that can compel you to take that next drink if you don't want to

It may be a little hard to believe that right now, but give yourself a little time - your belief in yourself will grow I promise.

D
Thank you Dee for the encouragement!
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:32 PM   #8 (permalink)
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No Fear! No Relapse!

It will get easier as you build up your sober muscle by getting through more days and situations sober.
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I havnt relapsed since i got sober this is the first time ive ever got to a month sober and here i am at 17 months

I too was seriously scared ppl were dropping like flies around me and i put it to this forum

The best reply i got by far and its gonna stay with me was

Relapse is part of my addiction Relapse is not part of my recovery

For me that was astounding made a ton of sense in any way you look at that sentence

what i took from it was that im in recovery & relapse simply isnt part of that

I cant tell you how much that calmed me down

Relapse is never inevitable
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I agree. Relapse is not inevitable. You always have a choice.
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks Patman! I am just so afraid of what I have become and sometimes I feel as Fear is a great motivator. Accepting everything the way it is and becoming vigilant in this quest is a better path.
I'll let someone wiser than me explain why fear is not good..
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kFnFr-DOPf8
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Old 12-19-2014, 04:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Ms-I think it's natural to fear relapsing when first starting out since you're venturing into new territory.
Have you made any plans as to what you're going to do when you have cravings? If you haven't, start making plans now (go on a walk, go to the movie, etc).
As everyone has mentioned, it does get easier the more sober time you get.
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Old 12-19-2014, 05:01 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'll be very honest and say that the "fear" is definitely there. I've actually thought forward a year, two, etc and I get this sinking feeling in my gut. Am I gonna do it again in a couple weeks? Can I really do this? How can I live the life I want when I see it all over TV, internet, stores, hell I can't even watch a football game without seeing beer commercials. And truthfully, what those guys with the snacks and the beer, watching the game and cheering looks fun. But I know I can't do that anymore and I just have to accept that.

My ma, who's been through a lot in the last few years, told me the other day, "Sweetie, just take it one day at a time. If you fall, you pick yourself up and keep moving forward." I believe I'm in the right mindset, and I have to just take it one day at a time and not think about the future when it comes to my addiction. Goals, aspirations, positive things yes, but not my alcoholism. As patman said above, vigilance and focus on the positives of recovery, not the negatives is what I believe is important.

I really don't know if this is the right way to look at it, but I feel right now that it is the way for me.
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Old 12-19-2014, 05:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm with LBrain and SWolfy. Relapse is not inevitable, and it's not mandatory. This is my first try and I'm serious. I know that I'm never drinking today, or again. I do say never and I believe it in my heart. At times it's hard but then is when you use all the tools that you have learned here. You have to be proactive you can't just expect things to happen and fall on your lap, you have to do the work. The plan can vary, it just has to be whatever works for you.

Don't be fearful or intimidated. It will bring you down or set you up for disaster.
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Old 12-19-2014, 05:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Just want to say that I relate to your fear. I am only 12 days in after a relapse (after 5 & 1/2 years of sobriety). Sometimes I feel like I am gonna get "struck drunk". Like a lightning bolt is gonna come out of the sky and hit me and I am gonna be drunk or someone has a voo-dew doll...

Anyway...why did I drink again after 5 & 1/2 years??? (and I really believed I would NEVER drink again). I forgot what I was. I forgot that I was an alcoholic. I stopped logging on to SR. I stopped going to AA. I stopped doing ANYTHING recovery-wise. I thought I was cured.

I will never make that mistake again! So..if you never forget that you are an alcoholic and keep doing what you are doing now to stay sober...you will be fine. We have really good "forgetters". At least I do.

You'll be ok. Just keep telling on your disease. The more time you get...the less fear you will have as long as you stay in the middle of the pack.

When animals are migrating...the animals in the MIDDLE of the pack (i.e. AA/SR/recovery) are the safest. It's the animals on the outside edges of the pack that get picked off by prey (i.e. our disease/relapse/AV).

Stay in the MIDDLE OF THE PACK!
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Old 12-19-2014, 07:21 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Don't fear Relapse. Own your Sobriety.

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