SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

4 days off the bottle and 24 days since I took my last insanely large dose of roxicet...... This decision I made to get clean and pure again has me reliving some of the most intense moments of my life. Strange to me because I'm not emotional nor am I nostalgic, just realizing the detox is similar to feelings I would have while on a deployment.... the same feelings I would count on to stay alive if I came into contact. My heart constantly races.... and makes my blood pump harder and faster rushing adrenalin and fresh oxygen to my brain ears nose and eyes... I'm focused and ready to strike. I feel lightning bolts pulsing out of my core... I am more aware of my surroundings and can find places to duck or find safety more efficiently. I'm restless and anxious self motivating me to stay out a little longer to make sure we don't get snuck up on. I'm jittery, shaking, sweating without control of it.... a sign that my body is going back to normal mode and telling me to sit and hydrate.

Going sober..... My heart constantly races.... IM DYING!!!
Lightning is surging out of me.... IM DYING!!!
I'm restless and anxious.... I AM DYING!!!
I'm Jittery and have the shakes and sweats.... I AM DYING!!!

I guess I just have to trust my body through the good and bad feelings to save me, and it wouldn't be doing this to me if it were bad for me. I have read so many amazing stories since deciding to go sober that I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I could recover from this poison that I have stuffed down my body as fast as I could when someone wanted to kill me.... but maybe something deep inside of me wanted to die. This isn't a cry for help btw... just reflecting on how my body does something to protect me and I feel great from one circumstance, but I think im dying in the other.