melki

Ruby2

Hi everyone. Sounds like a good day. I had a horrible day and am now digesting what I've learned from it. That sobriety and recovery are not, I repeat, are not just about not drinking alcohol.

I came home from my usual Sunday morning AA meeting to find that my son had broken to pieces all of the cookies I baked yesterday. Didn't eat a one. It was the last straw and I went ballistic, yelling myself hoarse at him. With his ADHD he has poor impulse control and when he is bored, angry, frustrated, over excited, he breaks things or carves into things. I have piles of broken crayons and pencils snapped in half, littering the house. Walls drawn on, other random broken things "it was an accident! I didn't mean to break it!" With me fruitlessly asking him what he thinks will happen if he hammers on something?

I need to find better and more constructive ways to deal with my anger and learn something that works to curb his impulses because it's just not sinking in. I have fear that he is going to end up being one of those kids getting in trouble all the time for doing truly stupid stuff.

Then later in the day I had to remove a sparrow from the bird feeder. It is poorly designed and if the seed level gets too low they poke their heads through the hole to get at it. Then they panic when their head gets stuck. It happened before and my husband got the bird out with no ill effect. I should have thrown the feeder out but I didn't. This bird wasn't so fortunate and it died in my hand. With my little shadow (miss Ruby) standing there. Yesterday it was the dead possum. Today it was the bird. I cried. The feeder went immediately into the garbage. The poor thing only wanted food.

Sorry this is long winded. I'm winding down from being wound up too tightly to breathe. I didn't drink. I didn't even entertain the thought of drinking. I just didn't want to be so effing miserable. I will meditate on it. Tomorrow is a new day and a new thread. I'm not planning to hijack the early holiday thread. I just needed to get this out of my system.

So, back to the grind tomorrow. My vacation is over. In many ways, it's a relief.

happyandfree

Sounds like a horrible day ruby....but you made it through and tomorrow will be better. Have a bowl of ice cream and try to relax. If I was you, I'd have a weekly massage, even if it's costly. You have a lot on your plate with the kids, and you didn't need the dead possum and the bird. The bird would have had me in tears also. your heart is in the right place and tomorrow will be better.

Ruby2

Thanks HaF, I smiled reading that you found your trifle bowl. That made me happy. You were talking about making trifle a couple of weeks ago. I'm watching The Librarians with one cat snuggled next to me and the other snoring at the other end of the couch. I'm debating on chunky monkey ice cream or Bordeaux cherry with chocolate. Waffle cone or wafer cone dipped in chocolate.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Conquest

Big hugs, Ruby. And I vote for chunky monkey, always.

Ruby2

Thanks Conquest. Ended up with Chunky monkey with chocolate dipped cone. And now I am going to bed.

strategery

Checking in for tonight. I guess I can't go rogue tomorrow since we'll have a new weekender's thread. Yay!

Not too much going on tonight beyond cleaning and playing disney infinity. I made the bubble-up bake for dinner tonight since Trach inspired me to make breakfast for dinner. Need to get back to the grind tomorrow and get this book chapter written.

Happyandfree-I am glad you got a laugh out of the mistaken gender.

Gilmer and Trach-thanks for the laughs this afternoon. You both were on a roll!

Ruby-I am so sorry to hear you've had such a bad day. I second happyandfree's recommendation on ice cream. I think you should get one of each. Thought you might find this funny:


I hope everyone is having a great sober Sunday!