I admit I am an alcoholic and I need help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 8
I admit I am an alcoholic and I need help.
Hi all,
I have been a lurker for a while now but have never really posted. I am posting now because I can no longer deny that I am an alcoholic and desperately need help. I wish I knew when all this started but it has all just kind of crept up on me. I drank in high school and college but did not do so excessively until graduate school when I started to drink in order to fall asleep at night. My difficult course load and perfectionism when it came to my career made it almost impossible to sleep at night. I am embarrassed to admit that on numerous occasions I drank all of the alcohol in the house, including a special bottle of Irish Midst liquor that my husband had brought back from our honeymoon. My husband stuck by me through all of this although I have a feeling that now he wishes that he hadn't done so. After I gained more confidence in myself I cut back on alcohol for several years only to start up again with a vengeance during my periods spent studying abroad. I partied every night and began to look upon alcohol and binge drinking as cool and fun. I continued to party when i got home and did my best to seek-out fun drinking buddies. Once again, my husband stayed with me though all this. It has been incredibly unfair to him and I am deeply, deeply sorry for that. Now, over ten years later, drinking has ceased to be fun. I hate it. It gives me insomnia and ruins my relationships--but I just keep picking it up again. I don't understand this as i will go for weeks without drinking only to drink yet again. I am terrified now that I won't be able to stop and that I will lose everything. I have tried AA but allowed myself to talk myself into the notion that I didn't need it. That I wasn't one of "those" people. Well the truth is that I am. I desperately want to stop craving alcohol. I am miserable and I hate what I have done to myself and my family. Please help.
I have been a lurker for a while now but have never really posted. I am posting now because I can no longer deny that I am an alcoholic and desperately need help. I wish I knew when all this started but it has all just kind of crept up on me. I drank in high school and college but did not do so excessively until graduate school when I started to drink in order to fall asleep at night. My difficult course load and perfectionism when it came to my career made it almost impossible to sleep at night. I am embarrassed to admit that on numerous occasions I drank all of the alcohol in the house, including a special bottle of Irish Midst liquor that my husband had brought back from our honeymoon. My husband stuck by me through all of this although I have a feeling that now he wishes that he hadn't done so. After I gained more confidence in myself I cut back on alcohol for several years only to start up again with a vengeance during my periods spent studying abroad. I partied every night and began to look upon alcohol and binge drinking as cool and fun. I continued to party when i got home and did my best to seek-out fun drinking buddies. Once again, my husband stayed with me though all this. It has been incredibly unfair to him and I am deeply, deeply sorry for that. Now, over ten years later, drinking has ceased to be fun. I hate it. It gives me insomnia and ruins my relationships--but I just keep picking it up again. I don't understand this as i will go for weeks without drinking only to drink yet again. I am terrified now that I won't be able to stop and that I will lose everything. I have tried AA but allowed myself to talk myself into the notion that I didn't need it. That I wasn't one of "those" people. Well the truth is that I am. I desperately want to stop craving alcohol. I am miserable and I hate what I have done to myself and my family. Please help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Welcome, buckeyegirly, to SR. If you have been lurking, you already know that this is a great place for support, encouragement and understanding.
You can and will be able to stop. Maybe try going back to AA; now that you have admitted to alcoholism, you may find AA very beneficial and a completely different experience than in the past.
Glad you found us.
You can and will be able to stop. Maybe try going back to AA; now that you have admitted to alcoholism, you may find AA very beneficial and a completely different experience than in the past.
Glad you found us.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
Maybe get a sponsor in AA. Seek out someone that has what you want and ask them to be your sponsor. It really does make you accountable and is what finally got me to turn the corner. I was doing the same thing. I'd stop drinking for months and then eventually start drinking again. This pattern finally ended when I got a sponsor.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Welcome to SR Buckeyeyedgirly
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Welcome to SR Buckeyeyedgirly
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome to SR. You can stop and you don't have to lose everything but you have to work to get it. I attend AA meetings. In fact, I went to one this morning. Someone made a comment that if we put as much effort into quitting drinking as we did planning and getting drunk, we would all make it. We can't just hope it goes away. You have to make changes to your life. Sometimes changes that stretch your comfort zone.
I didn't like AA meetings at first either. Who are these kooky people. What about all this spirituality stuff? I'm not that bad. Until I was. I had to admit that really, I wasn't all that much different from them because I couldn't stop drinking once I had one. Some of us had different or more sever consequences as a result of our drinking but none of us could control our drinking once we have one.
Right now, I attend meetings, I read and post here on SR and I reach out for support when I need it. It can be done, one day at a time.
I didn't like AA meetings at first either. Who are these kooky people. What about all this spirituality stuff? I'm not that bad. Until I was. I had to admit that really, I wasn't all that much different from them because I couldn't stop drinking once I had one. Some of us had different or more sever consequences as a result of our drinking but none of us could control our drinking once we have one.
Right now, I attend meetings, I read and post here on SR and I reach out for support when I need it. It can be done, one day at a time.
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Welcome buckeyegirly to our community.
Congratulations for making that huge first step in admitting you need help. As you continue to move forward remember that you are not alone... all of us here are fighting the same war and every day is a new battle.
If you've tried AA with no success, perhaps try seeking out a treatment facility to aid you in creating a stable foundation to start from.
In the meantime, I've found this forum to be an incredible resource and supportive environment. Please keep coming back to us.
Congratulations for making that huge first step in admitting you need help. As you continue to move forward remember that you are not alone... all of us here are fighting the same war and every day is a new battle.
If you've tried AA with no success, perhaps try seeking out a treatment facility to aid you in creating a stable foundation to start from.
In the meantime, I've found this forum to be an incredible resource and supportive environment. Please keep coming back to us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Welcome girly, you took the first step, which is admitting you need help.
There is plenty of support here and some options for you. Now that you admitted you can't do this on your own, it's time to do something. See if you are more comfortable going to meetings. Look into alternative ideas. The important thing is that no matter which path you choose, there is one common denominator. That is, you have to want to stop drinking for good. And you have to be settled on the idea that drinking will no longer be an option for you. Don't miss it or reminisce over it. Just convince yourself that was something in the past. You no longer need to drink and if you find yourself struggling, don't wait to reach out for help.
Good luck.
There is plenty of support here and some options for you. Now that you admitted you can't do this on your own, it's time to do something. See if you are more comfortable going to meetings. Look into alternative ideas. The important thing is that no matter which path you choose, there is one common denominator. That is, you have to want to stop drinking for good. And you have to be settled on the idea that drinking will no longer be an option for you. Don't miss it or reminisce over it. Just convince yourself that was something in the past. You no longer need to drink and if you find yourself struggling, don't wait to reach out for help.
Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Welcome buckeyegirly 
sometimes theres no logic to why we drink again. I do think support is key tho - if you have somewhere to go for support instead of giving into that urge it can really help
Keep posting here - why not join our Class of December support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-13.html
D
sometimes theres no logic to why we drink again. I do think support is key tho - if you have somewhere to go for support instead of giving into that urge it can really help
Keep posting here - why not join our Class of December support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-13.html
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Welcome buckeyegirly
sometimes theres no logic to why we drink again. I do think support is key tho - if you have somewhere to go for support instead of giving into that urge it can really help
Keep posting here - why not join our Class of December support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-13.html
D
sometimes theres no logic to why we drink again. I do think support is key tho - if you have somewhere to go for support instead of giving into that urge it can really help
Keep posting here - why not join our Class of December support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-13.html
D
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