I can't take any more of this circus
 

I feel like I am being forced to be "jolly"...

I can't take any more of this Holidays, I don't "feel" it, I can't keep pretending. My face hurts, faking smiles all day hurts!

Take a break - take a walk, sit down and read a book, sneak off to the kitchen and bake some cookies. Holidays can be trying for everyone, and try to remember that those around mean well even if they do tend to overdo it at times.

Thank you Scott. I don't know why I am so angry.
I don't even want to drink. I just want to yell and scream at the entire world :wild

I hate the holiday season myself. I am a grinch for real. I fake it too...so I can relate!

Scream away...we all have earplugs! Our minds tend to be all over the map on the early road to sobriety, it's normal to feel swings up and down.

I don't pretend and if people don't like it, tough! I used to go through life with a fake smile on my face and ended up physically ill because of it. Ulcers, headaches, digestive issues and more resulted from faking it... no more!

I celebrate the start of Kwaanza on the 26th. Kwaanza is an African holiday and although I really don't know what it is about, it is my favorite day of the year!

Because it is 364 days till Christmas! HA!

Try to find some time for yourself away from all the commercialism of the holidays. Take a walk in the woods, meditate or get a massage.
You deserve it!

I'm not a fan of holidays either.

I don't have any family, so let's just move on, shall we?

Ugh. I hole up every holiday season. This is the first year I haven't been drinking, so it's much easier than the past five years, but still...it's a time of unfulfilled expectations on steroids, :lmao

Not much longer :)

:hug: Patricia

Are you going to any sobriety meetings ?

Patricia, why do you think you have to force yourself to pretend? Who is putting this pressure on you? Holidays can be tough at times for many people, but you can always opt out and stay home or do something else. I hope you enjoy the rest of the holidays.

why not give the salvation army a try this year and volunteer to help them give out food for those who are homeless ?
i promise you that it would work wonders for yourself in how you feel, dont know if they have the salvation army in your area but i am sure there will have some sort of help for the homeless etc i am sure they would love volunteers to help them out so might be worth a try ?

Only online meetings. There's no AA in my town, closest one is over an hour away. And I have 3 text buddies for emergencies :)

My husband mostly. He expects a Martha Stewart kinda Christmas dinner...and his idea of the Holidays is to shop til you drop...:headbange

There's Festivus for the rest of us. I was not a Seinfeld fan but that one episode actually tickled me. A parody, skewering the holiday hubbub. The "airing of the grievances" well, we can all do that a bit, can't we?

I'm hit or miss on the holidays. Some years I feel it. Others not. We can be as out there as we want to or simply stay quietly at home. Vent away. It's does get ridiculous, doesn't it? I pick and choose what I participate in but one thing I do know is that it's a great day to spend time with my immediate family.

lol I love that episode!! Thank you Ruby!

Is your husband aware of the stress that his expectations create for you ?

You are not alone. Alot of people do not like the holidays. I try to find Alcothons in my area, which are held on holidays, and say "got a commitment" and leave five minutes before I spontaneous combust.

Are you sure you didnt marry my friends wife? Just kidding of course.

I hope you find solace in something soon. Maybe go to the movies and bowling on Xmas and order Chinese food... could be like all my Jewish friends who of course consider Xmas is just another day on the calendar (which for them it is). Not sure how that would go over in your household but...

Festivus Pole in lieu of Christmas Tree

I wish someone would want to shop until they dropped with me and cook me a martha stewart type dinner and stay round to enjoy it.

I guess we are never happy with what we have xx