I will never forgot!
 

I will never forgot the last terrible and horrible week I went through. Alcohol has totally taken over my life. I started drinking last Sunday and ended up in the depths of HELL. I would drink all day, all night, every hour just passing out for a few hours of sleep. The anxiety, dread, impending doom were too much to bear. I kept drinking to get rid of these feeling but they came back stronger each time. I would vomit and then try to drink more, vomit and try again. This was my body just rejecting the alcohol. I could not sleep because of the fear of dying and my heart and pulse were all pounding. I truly thought this was the end. I kept this process up until this last Sunday. Drinking continuously for an entire week. My body was so weak and I had turned into a zombie had not brushed my teeth or bathed. I did not care about anything or anyone except the alcohol. I had become a shell of a man with a soul soaked of this poison.

Finally by the will of god finally convinced my self to stop because i would die if i continued. Managed to get to the ER at my local hospital to detox.

This has been my Worst feeling ever and I NEVER WANT TO FORGOT.

Thank god and the divine help I received. I am so scared for my future.

I NEVER WANT TO FORGET. PLEASE SR and my friends here NEVER LET ME FORGOT.

That's just about how I felt my last time drinking. I knew it was over - I could never risk going back to hell. I figured I'd very likely not make it back out. That was almost 7 yrs. ago - and I never had another drop. You can do it too.

Why not write down what the last week was like? I wish I'd kept notes in early recovery.

Glad you are determined, ms. :)

I hope this can be the beginning of a new sober life for you. :)

So glad you are here and shared your experience with us. You were soooo wise to get yourself to the ER. This awful addiction and withdrawal is not something to handle alone.

Dang buddy, I'm glad you're okay. We know where drinking leads to, let's see where sober takes us!

Body rejecting alcohol. That one really got me emotionally on top of the retching. Really. I gave my everything and she walks away and leaves me to die.
I joined this site in late may to chronicle my tapering, quit on june 11th and have been here ever since. Have a GP appt. today for some lingering gastro issues. Love that title!

Glad you're OK and getting better.

Anytime you need a reminder just log in and ask for one. We'll be here.

You dont have to forget start writing all this down keep it and read in times of cravings etc Ms

you can print your top post off and keep that at all times

Glad you got the detox and very glad you are trying again

Well done Ms

Hello:

Print out this post and carry it with you. When your AV speaks up, pull it out and read it. It's up to ourselves to not forget.

We are always here so use us when needed.

Remember that you are not alone.

Just know that you never have to go back to that - and that you deserve to be happy :hug:

And keep reading and posting here :)

Wow! That sounds horrible...I'm so glad you survived that! You never have to feel like that again if you don't want to. You can do this!

What plan do you have in place to help you stay sober?

This brought back bad memories, your smarter than me, like an idiot I detoxed alone at home.

Thanks for the memories refresher.

Actually there comes a time in the healing process that forgive then forgetting is necesarry, to move on, that time is not now , but it will come

Glad you're posting!

God will indeed give you His grace always!
But, if He is to move mountains - we need to grab a shovel :)

Kind Regards,
FlyN

Sounds a lot like my bottom. It was clearly a matter of life or death with me. Thankfully, I had a sponsor in AA to remind me when I started feeling a lot better that my feeling better didn't change the fact that it was life or death. It's hard to remember, or even imagine the blackness alcohol is capable of bringing when we're feeling healthy.

This is always a life or death thing to me, and while I'm not always thinking about it (or even conscious of it any more), not drinking is always my first priority.

ms-the good thing is you never have to go through what you went through this last week ever again and you can use this memory to keep you sober when you have cravings. Keep close to SR and keep posting.

Thanks for shattering any rosy hued visions of my former alcohol use. It's good to remember how bad things can be.

I haven't had a drink in over four years. It isn't the memory of some horrendous drinking episode that has kept me sober, even though I had an awful one. Bad enough to say, "Never again." Heck, two weeks into my quit, I had forgotten why I had.

What I remembered then, and remember now is my commitment to my recovery, my commitment to never drink, and the sober life I built around me.

I haven't forgotten the last weeks of my drinking career. I won't go back there, and you don't need to go back there either.

This is so much like what I am going through right now it's scary. I just came off a 4 day bender (drink boatloads of vodka, vomit in the shower, sleep a few hours, repeat the process day and night for days.) I stopped yesterday and went to the ER to get some meds for the detoxification process. I took the rest of the week off work so I don't cause suspicion (I am a highly functional alcoholic, I wait until I get home to get hammered and try to get 8 hours of sleep but I'm sure some people can tell.) I don't ever want to feel the way I did yesterday again and I hope you succeed in your quitting. I'd like to talk more because our situations sound so similar so keep me updated.