bradley26

Its all gone wrong again and im so annoyed . christmas is coming and ive fallen into the trap again. I thought i could beat this but i thnk im *******. I checked my previous posts and ive been here for 2 years but still i dont learn. I think its over, how cant u learn when its so obvious?

SoberLeigh

Hi Bradley.

What sort of a plan did you have to stay sober? I know that you have mentioned attending AA in the past; did you have a sponsor or work the steps?

Hevyn

I'm sorry bradley. I don't know why, but I was a slow learner too. I played around with quitting for many years. I finally was convinced that every time I tried to be a social drinker it led me back into danger. I had to admit it was toxic to me, and there'd never be a time when I could trust myself to have 'a few'.

It is not over. You came here to talk about it - that's what matters. You can avoid the trap this time. We're with you.

bradley26

My idea was to focus all my energy on exercise and healthy eating but , when friends wanted me to meet up it all went wrong. I have a friend who is alcohol dependent, a friend who has a drink problem and the other one is a drunk. I was sober 4 weeks when we met up for a boxing night and ive ben drunk 1 month since. it looks like i have to get rid of my friends and be alone but thats gonna be so depressing.

SoberLeigh

I agree with Hevyn, Bradley; it is absolutely not over. Exercising and healthy eating are great endeavors and good additions to a sober plan but they don't directly address your drinking. Have you considered adding face to face support such as AA or a therapist to get you on the right track?

Obladi

Bradley, I've been here longer than you and have been trying to convince myself to want to quit for some time longer than that. Daily drinker for at least a year, and almost daily for years before that. I gave up on myself every day. But somehow, something just stuck!

Hang in there, keep trying and something will stick for you too.

Altoids

The AA Promises say "Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."

I think a lot of us fall in the "slowly" category. You are here now and that's what matters. Stick close by. Check in everyday in the 24 hour thread. Making that commitment everyday helps me tremendously.

ScottFromWI

My guess is you need to at least start with some kind of structured plan like AA or outpatient rehab. Working on your fitness and diet is good of course, but it isn't a Sobriety plan. You also need to accept that you cannot pick up the first drink, I don't think you've come to terms with that in any of your conversations here. You can do this if you want to, but it's going to requre effort on your part.

Tamerua

I don't have anything more to add other than you can do this, you do need a sober plan, but the good thing is that is totally in your control.

strategery

Stop thinking you are screwed and start again.
What can you do differently to prevent this situation from happening again?
You can do this!

Serenidad

AA is saving my life right now.

Sober places...sober faces. You can meet awesome new friends in AA.

Maybe give it a try?

philly76

I feel your pain. I've been on and off of this site for a while myself. I've failed. I've succeeded. I don't think slipping equals failure. It's human.

You're still here, still trying to be better. Just recognizing that is a feat in the right direction.

I know exactly what you're saying. It ****ing sucks.

Taking5

Have you considered AA? You keep talking about "fighting" and "beating" this thing. In AA we give up the fight, we surrender. Some people find this idea a little crazy, but others, including me, have found that surrender is paradoxically the way to strength.

Zebra1275

I have a friend who is alcohol dependent, a friend who has a drink problem and the other one is a drunk.

I know this sounds tough, but you might need some new friends.

pattyspaw

i've been coming to this site on and off for years; i get a little time and then i slip and fall, i'm slowly figuring out that i need to brush myself off and get back with it; as long as i don't give up on me, someday i will make it; never ever give up, you can do this

bunnezjp

You're not ******, you just need a different game plan. And forget the Holidays, they're just ordinary days with pretty names slapped on them.

Bunnez

PurpleKnight

Bradley, I haven't seen you about since your last relapse, where is your support??

SR for me was something I needed to use in the good times as well as the bad, because my mind was addicted to alcohol and willpower only got me so far!!

Start using the wealth of support that's here and you can turn this around!!

Buggirl

Just take one day at a time! You can do this!

JanieJ

Bradley, your commitment to health and exercise is admirable.

I was a drinker for 38 years. I've had dozens of relapses over the years my friend, and I do mean dozens. I hated myself ,thought I was really pathetic for giving in so easily.

Then 67 days ago, a little voice in my head said "you can do this now" and I went about it in a way that I never had before. I stopped thinking I could do it on my own and got some serious support. I gave in. I surrendered to the fact that I can't drink any more. I made a decision that drink was not an option, just like peanuts are not an option for someone who is allergic to them.

Keep trying my friend, I do believe that one day it will stick.

Please get yourself a good plan, some tools in your toolbox, for dealing with cravings.

If your friends are real friends who care about you, they will understand your need to avoid drinking environments for a while.

You are not a failure, you're still here trying to beat this thing, that's courage in my book, not weakness.

Deniselarkin

I have been in that trap before , I know I can't drink, and you know what it is not worth the gilt , the depression , the setback , look for friends surrounded by less temptation .