SarahB60

I'm 17 days in - thought I would get better. I feel like I've started on the emotional roller coaster ride.

Has anyone had thoughts about scanning the environment for the nearest alcohol bottle? - i.e. nearest stores, husbands stockpile, etc. I'm not inclined to act upon drinking right now, I've just entertained thoughts about where the nearest alcohol bottle is located for "security sake".

ugh...security. What a lie! That bottle of "security" will set me right back to square one. An sad, depressed and anxious alcoholic with jacked up blood pressure and a racing heart. Why in the world would I want t even entertain a thought about where the nearest bottle is located? Is this just an ingrained alcoholic behavior? I think it's a wake up call for me to look at and TRUST other coping mechanisms when I'm under stress.

ScottFromWI

The emotional rollercoaster take a while to come back to the station Sarah. It's completely normal for you to be feeling this way at 17 days, you are still very, very early in your sober journey. Remember, it took years and years for most of us to do this damage to our bodies and minds, it's going to take a while to undo it.

What do you do for support? Are you attending meetings or working on any self-directed program of recovery? Just "not drinking" in itself won't solve anything other than the immediate physical trauma/damage. Also remember that you may have other issues surfacing that have been buried under alchohol for quite some time...and those must be dealt with separately.

SarahB60

Hi Scott - I'm attending AA meetings, though not as many as I'd like. I do have a sponsor and another lady who I can call at any time. I started the Step work last Friday, so I'm reading a lot. I'm also in therapy on a weekly basis to primarily help with the grief.

BTW - I absolutely agree with things, once buried, coming to the surface. I used alcohol to stuff away feelings, and now the feelings are coming home to roast, so to speak.

biminiblue

Those thoughts are going to come. It is what we did for a very long time, right?

I've accepted that those thoughts are part of me. They are not the healthy part of me, though. I'd like to have a puppy - I would also like to get my way in every human interaction. I'd like a boat. I have a lot of thoughts that are not good for me. I don't act on them, they are just there. It will take a while for your emotions to settle. Totally normal.

I think learning to switch the thoughts is the key. Yes, they are still going to pop up. I can change them to something else, though. It's really important to me to not spend a lot of time on those thoughts. I need to find something very quickly to change those thoughts, I cannot go down that path in safety. Addicts grab and go and don't think - healthy people accept that some thoughts are not in their best interest and find other distractions.

So. Walking? Decorating the dining room? A hot shower? Something to distract.

ccam1973

Stay strong Sarah. Like Scott said, a good plan is key to beating this. Each time I relapsed it was because I let my plan fail.

It does get easier, I promise you that. You can never let your guard down, but the cravings and edginess do lessen over time.

Great job on 17 days. Tomorrow will be day 18, then 19, 20... You can beat this.

SoberLeigh

Seventeen days is really good progress, Sarah, but still very early in sobriety.

Great suggestions above. Yoga, meditation, breathing techniques could also help 'even out' the emotions and ad to your sobriety 'toolbox'.

Soberwolf

Well done on 17 days Sarah

Early recovery is like a rollercoaster ride it will start to balance out

Stay close to SR its full of great advice

least

It will get better the longer you're sober.

Thepatman

They call it romancing the bottle if I'm not mistaking.

Keep going, it will ease with time.

instant

I think in the first few months- I was having physical/mental/emotional reactions and urges associated with triggers and reminders. This is normal in the long tail of withdrawal after the drama of the first 7-10 days.

Those strong urges eventually fade.

The addiction is still very active early on and we are primed to take note of all alcohol related stuff in our environment. Now I am three plus years sober its all worn off. I think from memory by 12 months it's pretty much gone.

JanieJ

Sarah, 17 days is awesome

At 17 days you would have found me mesmerised by the wine aisle like rabbit in headlights. It's worn off a bit now.

Good advice and comments above.

LexieCat

Have you asked your husband to consider getting it out of the house for a while? Just for a few months, maybe, till you are on more solid ground?

Once I got serious about staying sober, I intentionally put obstacles between me and the booze. Poured out every drop in the house, got rid of stuff like wine glasses. I know if I were really determined to drink I could go to the liquor store and buy more, but that would involve finding my keys, putting on shoes, maybe a coat, getting behind the wheel and driving there. All of which would have given me at least a few minutes to reconsider. It kept me from that impulsive pour and swallow if I had a bad day, got ticked off, or was feeling sorry for myself.

Anna

Congratulations on 17 days sober, Sarah.

I also don't keep alcohol in the house and I know that it has helped simplify things. One of the worst times for me in the early days, was waking up in the middle of the night and having all the horrible things I'd done running through my head. I was glad that there was no decision to be made about drinking.

Things will get better and you will be able to cope with the stuff you have to work through.