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-   -   Tell me why a life or death experience is no reason to drink... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/353672-tell-me-why-life-death-experience-no-reason-drink.html)

Croissant 12-16-2014 08:17 PM

Thanks all. I will post more later...I just need all the reasons in the world before the A.V. Fires up too much.

Please share what you can. It does mean a lot.

Thanks.
Crois

Venecia 12-16-2014 08:52 PM


Originally Posted by Ruby2 (Post 5079434)
If you know that a traumatic event is looming you can take steps now to encounter it without drinking. As alcoholics we are programmed to immediately reach for a bottle to make it go away but it won't go away and drinking will only make it worse.

This is a hypothetical that I've run through my head. My father has a very bad heart, which is true. He has both a pace maker and defibrillator. As a child I always thought my parents would be there forever. He still lives a very active life with some limitations. However, every year he ends up in the hospital for a period of days. I never know when my mother will call to say he's in the hospital again. Each time he bounces back, a little weaker but still here. And here is the hypothetical. What happens when it's the end, come see your father now! When will that call come? Will it come in the middle of the night when if I'm drinking I'd be too drunk to move if I even hear the phone ring? So I miss seeing my father and saying one last goodbye? What if he does pass. I pick up a drink because I'm so distraught. Will it change his death? No. Will anyone blame me for drinking? No, probably not. But they will blame me if I'm too hungover to be any support to my family, especially my mother. If I show up to the wake and funeral reeking of alcohol. Stumbling, slurring, saying inappropriate things. Not being present in the moment to handle it or be of any use to anyone. It's me being selfish. Considering only my pain and my grief with little regard to anyone else.

So that's what I've thought. My AV has already told me. It's patiently waiting for the day that my father dies so that I have an excuse to drink. A reason for which no one will question. Pretty sick, isn't it? Using my fathers demise to pick up a bottle. So I know that is what I face. I know now so I can think it through. Surround myself now with loving support so that I can face the pain sober. So I'm there with my mother and can support her. Drinking would be such a bad idea. Don't do it.

I'm in a similar situation. My mother is very fragile, health-wise.

We thought Mom would go first. But it was Dad. Very sudden, very unexpected. Not quite seven months ago.

A couple days after Dad died, I was home alone. Still numb. Barely processing it all. One of the old neighbor kids stopped by. With a six-pack and a kind smile to match the kind intentions.

I knew I'd be alone in the house for a while. Long enough to slam the beer. I had a split second to make a decision. I thanked my old friend, but said "I don't drink anymore. Give the beer a good home." The friend and the beer were gone.

In that moment, that moment of temptation, I thought: "Well, I could start drinking again. Then what would I be? Without a father AND back to being an alcoholic." I decided the former was hard enough without adding the latter. I stayed sober.

Croissant/Gina, I hope that helps you. You've been a steadfast support to so many here. Whatever it is that hurts you right now, I hope it is soon to leave. All my kindest wishes to you. -- Venecia

wpainterw 12-16-2014 09:20 PM


Originally Posted by Croissant (Post 5079106)
I don't want to drink now, but there's looming pressure and comments like, "go get yourself a bottle of wine"...

Please tell me the reasons why I shouldn't, before the AV starts telling me, "life's too short, you can just have one".

(Yes, I know drinking alcoholically will shorten my life anyway.)

Traumatic events are no reason to drink. Please tell me why - remind me. Please.

You ask Tell me why a life or death experience is no reason to drink.

That's an easy question:

Because, for an alcoholic, drinking isi a life or death experience. All you have to do to find this out is to take that first drink and say to yourself, "One drink won't matter!"

W.

Dee74 12-16-2014 09:21 PM

The bottom line is you've come so far. You've built yourself back up.

Thats not who you want to be anymore, no matter what your inner addict is telling you.

No reason is good enough to lose the person you're becoming :)

D

DarkDays 12-17-2014 12:47 AM

Because I want to fell real feelings not altered feelings 365 days a year.

Eddiebuckle 12-17-2014 02:05 AM

This life or death situation, is it significant, does it really matter?

Your sobriety matters for the very same reason.

Lenina 12-17-2014 09:26 AM

Croisant,

OK, heres what helped me. we don't drink. It doesn't matter why or what is going on. I learned I don't want to drink, can't drink without destroying my health and my mind. The Beast wants the drink, not me.

there is absolutely NO GOOD THING to come from drinking. Nothing. Pouring alcohol into my body will only set off the chain reaction which will take me straight to despair, hopelessness and PAIN.

alcohol is NEVER the answer. When there are stressful and tense situations going on, I cannot disable myself. I need to have my site about me to solve the issues and cope in a healthy manner. Other people need me sober. I am only a burden when I'm not sober and cannot attend to what needs to br done.

Also, and finally....for me....drinking is a DEATH matter for me. So, when you say Life and Death.....I choose Life. as complex as it is sometimes.

I hope this helps. alcohol NEVER works

NEVER


Love from Lenina


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