resentment from more severe alcoholics
 

I met someone recently who told me they were in AA. I mentioned I had stopped drinking as well with various support mechanisms. After describing our alcoholic behaviours, he told me I wasn't a real alcoholic because my bottom wasn't as severe as others he knew. Do people with more severe drinking problems really judge those or compete with those who are not as severe?

Some people judge other people.

Some of those judges also drank excessively.

Whether they did or not, I don't have time to worry about what they think. :)

I had nothing but judgement and aggro from my ex inlaws who could, themselves, drink an ocean dry - but of course it was the opposite because I was much worse according to them *rolls eyes* Anyhoo, don't pay any attention to it. xx

Sounds to me like he has an ego problem and, needs to work the steps some more.

Everyone has their own story and your bottom is never the same as someone else's.

There are also different types of bottoms. Emotional, loss of family or loss of ones self and then the physical, lost of jobs, DUI etc.

The idea in AA is to identify with another alcoholic, not to compare or judge ourselves as different. If all we did was look for the things that are different, such as bottoms or resentments, then we could do that all day long and all that does is separate us.

It is not how much I drank or what resentments I have, it is what alcoholic did to me and my life. If you have a desire to stop drinking, then you are a member in AA if you say so.

Let them worry about them and you worry about you. Remember that not everyone in AA is recovered, there are many in the rooms that are still sick. We just have to love each other were we are, not where we think others should be or what they may say.

Ignore that. You're on your own journey. Stay sober.

Very well stated.

BE WELL

are you sure they were judging you or trying to make you face certain things ?

i know for me i felt people judged me in aa all the time, when i was new and wasnt on any sort of program i had to deal with the aa super sober experts who would judge me based on my lack of experience etc

in there head they were merely only trying to help me as they judged me compared to themselves etc


so maybe thats what happend with you ?

You know, maybe you are right. Maybe it's just me feeling my bottom doesn't qualify me as a real alcoholic. Oh the mind games. Thanks everyone..

I don't talk to people about my alcoholism (except at SR) so I can just focus on my own recovery.

i know i hated certain people in aa as they always made me feel less superior to them ( how dare they ) lol

i come to see today that its just what i needed as i was to full of my own self importance to be able to hear what they were saying
i would react to what they would say rather then listen and understand, i was so sensitive

today i know me better now and i know if i feel the urge to kick out at someone or something i have to sit back for a while and just think about it
try to write it out and read it again and again see if the next time i read it that it looks so different to how i first thought it was

this mind of mine is nuts lol i have been like this ever since i was a child and sadly its taken me a long long time to just start to get to understand how i react etc

this is were a sponsor and others in aa have helped me as they give me another side to things that on my own i could never come to see

but your right this mind is a pain in the butt ; )

Only those who are really, really sick.......
Glad you're here and posting!!

For me, I could care less about the " sliding scale". Things were bad and getting worse. Today life is so much better without booze.

Frankly, I feel very fortunate my story is pretty vanilla :)

Kind Regards,
FlyN

No need to take part in pissing contests, even if you can write your name in snow. LOL!

TMI Patman!

Never compare yourself to others because you will always find someone better off and worse off than you are. It is pointless.

This is YOUR story, your life, your alcoholism. Don't compare yourself to others. It's futile...

"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."

That person was a arse , there is always a deeper bottom one can reach, I myself am verythankfull I never caused major bodily harm to someone while I was driving drunk, most of us A's dodge a whole lot of bullets , its a blessing that most of us still have functioning body,
anyways stay sober, be healthy and have a nice holiday

IMo those that haven't deflated their ego and don't have an understanding of what alcoholism is... Yes, it happens.

My thinking was the same as the gutter drunk AND the man that had 6 blackouts his entire drinking career and only drank wine at dinner.

It can even be read here. I've read the ," if you didn't end up on the streets and have this that and the other taken away..." blahblahblah.
It's and ego trip and can deter people from thinking they have a problem.

. . . Yeah, but my Daddy can beat your Daddy up!

Some will try to compete on everything.