Shooter127

Thanks all for letting me do this. I'm going to tell her tomorrow.

SoberLeigh

Proud of you, Shooter.

It is going to be difficult but in the end, I believe, it will be for the best.

We are here for you.

Shooter127

Its a dark secret I've had for too long. I need help.

trachemys

Good for you for reaching for help.

seasky

Shooter127,
I feel for you and I understand. I don't think it's uncommon to hide out our drinking but that doesn't make it right. I think you already know that you need to quit but you have built up a facade and you think you are a master .. I did too until I wasn't.
It hurts you physically to drink that amount every day but I think
It may hurt your heart and soul more to deceive the family that is
Trying to believe in you and trust you ... They love you
You need to love you . So quit . You may need a doctor
To help you detox but do it and do it now. You will feel so much better.

I wish you the best and we are all here to support you any way that we can.
You did it before ~ do it again ! Believe in yourself

Dee74

This is alcoholic thinking Shooter. Let's not beat around the bush - You've already let her down, man...how and when she finds out about this is up to you.

Honestly I think your biggest problem now is stopping drinking. Telling your gf and family is kinda secondary to that.

Do whatever it takes- Dr, counsellor, AA, some other recovery group, inpatient or outpatient rehab...give it your all, Shooter.

D

Shooter127

I know...I know. Trust me I know. She thinks I'm the most wonderful person in the world. And I do this to her every day. I'm black with guilt on the inside trust me.

Raider

Well you can see yours is actually a common story. That's why they don't trust us. That's why they should never trust us.

Alwyshope12

Shooter, you can get control of your life back simply by quitting! I really hope you are not jeopardizing your family life by trying to hid this habit, which can't last long.

You gotta believe there is hope out there. You did it once, you can do it again!

mistory5

I find this thread mind boggling...how do you hide being drunk? What is your definition of drunk? Even if you have a shot of alcohol and kiss someone deeply they can taste it. You cam smell it too...yes even vodka. That's a myth that you can't smell vodka on someone. I don't mean to pester you, but this one has me scracthing my head.

ishallnotwant

Shooter--your family loves you and they will support you. Yes, they will be disappointed, but that doesn't change the love they have for you. I have been on the other side of this--my husband relapsed after 30 YEARS. He had been sober for 5 years before we met ( met him at an AA breakfast that I went to with my Dad). We met in 1981. In 2007, he came to me and admitted that he had started drinking again for 2 months (I had no idea--although I'm sure there were signs that I chose to ignore). My first immediate thought was to get him the help that he was asking me for. Helped him through the night and he went into treatment the next day. He has never had another drop.
I have a very in-depth history of dealing with many alcohol and drug addicted members of my family and I have recently come to accept my own drinking problem. So my initial reaction was one of compassion. I don't know what your family's initisl reaction will be, but I believe that their live for you will be where they eventually settle. You and your family will be a focus in my prayers. Please keep posted--hugs to you and your family

sectownkid

just drop the bottle man. you got this. seriously when it comes down to it, what the ****s more important, clarity of mind body and soul and true happiness+healed relationships, or self destruction while you bask in a fake feeling of false self worth and drunk euphoria. I know what your going through but man do you really need someone to tell you that? I believe in you, just man the **** up and finish it.

ishallnotwant

And ..."we are as sick as our secrets"

Tonks

Hello Shooter. As terrible as you might feel about your actions, I promise many of us share your experiences in a similar fashion. We can't change that now, we can only control what we do now... And In my opinion you're number one priority right now should be your health and detoxing in a safe manner. Please strongly consider asking your physician for guidance and aid in this.

Above all else, you showing up here and just laying it all out speaks volumes and I commend you. You have the strength to walk away from that life. So do it. We'll be with you every step of the way .

Jsbodhi

I was thinking the same thing!!

Jsbodhi

You can quit! You've done it before, I imagine it'll actually be easier than living the way you've been living. Thinking of you, we all carry a lot of shame for our addictive behaviours, wrongs can be made right though. I won't give you any advice on your girlfriend or family because I don't know what I'd do myself, I'd probably just try to quit first before I did anything else. It's a difficult situation! Xoxo

Notmyrealname

I'm with Dee. The key here is to stop drinking. Whether you go full disclosure or not depends on how you value things, but either/or you need to quit drinking.

BernieE

First things first. Stop drinking immediately. Get medical help. Save yourself.

BigRed57

Do you REALLY want to quit, or are you just afraid of getting caught & losing everything? I think, as a member of AA, that you haven't tried it long enough. Which is longer? A few months in AA, or the amount of time you've spent drinking in your life? If you spent 20 yrs drinking, it's going to take 20 yrs to feel normal again. I've seen a lot of people leave AA because of the HP thing, only to drink again because they have no support like the meetings gave them. You don't have to swallow the God thing now. Anything can be used as your HP in the beginning. But eventually no one & nothing will stop you from drinking. It ends up being between you & God. Stay in AA & you'll see for yourself. You have nothing to lose by going to meetings. Your life depends on it. There are only 3 places an alcoholic ends up: jail, institutions or dead. Keep up your drinking & it's your pick of the 3.

sprout50

I agree that getting sober is priority number one and you want to make sure you do it safely. As for telling your family, you will have to at some point but it will be a huge weight off your shoulders when you do. Sounds like they are a great support system for you. Make a plan and get started.