new to sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: adelaide sa
Posts: 1
new to sobriety
Hi everyone,
As the title of my post suggests I'm new to this site as well as new to recovery. My addiction is primarily prescription pain killers however in recent months i have used just about anything to feel comfortably numb. A bit of history about me i had never drank too much through my teens and id occasionally experimented with various drugs but never felt an addiction. When i was 17 i was diagnosed with endometriosis. This condition left me in chronic pain for years which i was prescribed oxcycontin for. I had never heard of this drug before but i was overwhelmingly happy with the way it controlled my pain. After a while i was getting depressed as much condition worsened and i was taking the meds to numb not only the physical pain but the emotional pain as well. At 23 years old my condition had become so severe that i had to have a hysterectomy. The pain continued and so did my depression which resulted in me popping pills like they were lollies. In october of this year my condition worsened again and resulted in the removal of my ovaries as well. Obviously as a result of this i will never be able to have children which at 24 years old is a lot to accept. Over the course of the past two years i have numbed myself with oxcys, vallium, alcohol and basically anything that will stop me feeling any of these overwhelming emotions associated with grief. I am now at a point where i want to appreciate the aspects of my health that i do have and make the most of my life. I am only young and have a lot to be thankful for. My last hurdle of this health battle is my addiction to pain medication. I have tried for the last week to go cold turkey and the withdrawals were hell and i had a relapse just yesterday. I am really just reaching out for any help i can get because i dont want to live my life as a souless shell anymore. I have so much more to give but these pills are taking all of the good and happiness out of me. If anyone has any advice or experience in this area i would love any tips that are available. I have tried giving up so many times but the overwhelming depression that comes over me always makes me relapse. Im scared i will never feel happy again without the high i get from these pills. I know if i dont do stop this time around these pills will be the death of me. Please help.
As the title of my post suggests I'm new to this site as well as new to recovery. My addiction is primarily prescription pain killers however in recent months i have used just about anything to feel comfortably numb. A bit of history about me i had never drank too much through my teens and id occasionally experimented with various drugs but never felt an addiction. When i was 17 i was diagnosed with endometriosis. This condition left me in chronic pain for years which i was prescribed oxcycontin for. I had never heard of this drug before but i was overwhelmingly happy with the way it controlled my pain. After a while i was getting depressed as much condition worsened and i was taking the meds to numb not only the physical pain but the emotional pain as well. At 23 years old my condition had become so severe that i had to have a hysterectomy. The pain continued and so did my depression which resulted in me popping pills like they were lollies. In october of this year my condition worsened again and resulted in the removal of my ovaries as well. Obviously as a result of this i will never be able to have children which at 24 years old is a lot to accept. Over the course of the past two years i have numbed myself with oxcys, vallium, alcohol and basically anything that will stop me feeling any of these overwhelming emotions associated with grief. I am now at a point where i want to appreciate the aspects of my health that i do have and make the most of my life. I am only young and have a lot to be thankful for. My last hurdle of this health battle is my addiction to pain medication. I have tried for the last week to go cold turkey and the withdrawals were hell and i had a relapse just yesterday. I am really just reaching out for any help i can get because i dont want to live my life as a souless shell anymore. I have so much more to give but these pills are taking all of the good and happiness out of me. If anyone has any advice or experience in this area i would love any tips that are available. I have tried giving up so many times but the overwhelming depression that comes over me always makes me relapse. Im scared i will never feel happy again without the high i get from these pills. I know if i dont do stop this time around these pills will be the death of me. Please help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
Hi Billie and welcome to SR. I am very sorry for all you have gone through, partiicularly at such a young age. I think the best thing for you to do is talk to your Dr. about this. You may need medical help to withdraw from the pain meds.
We have a very supportive group of folks here so stick around, read and post.
We have a very supportive group of folks here so stick around, read and post.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome Billie...there are doctors that specialize in pain mangment without drugs...but it can be trying, especially at first. It definitely can be done though, and you will find lots of support here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You can absolutely get off them. There is a way out! You may need medical intervention, to get past the early days. Getting past those early days is the key. Bite the bullet and ask for help from a medical professional who is trained in addiction.
I never had children, and my life has been perfectly fine! Yours will be too. There are many women who never have children.
I never had children, and my life has been perfectly fine! Yours will be too. There are many women who never have children.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
So glad you found us Billie - you're not alone with this.
I remember thinking I'd never enjoy anything again without drinking. I had made it a part of every phase of my life - for many years. It seemed impossible to let go, but it was bringing me only misery and danger. You can get free of the pills, Billie. Please stay with us and keep posting. Never give up.
I remember thinking I'd never enjoy anything again without drinking. I had made it a part of every phase of my life - for many years. It seemed impossible to let go, but it was bringing me only misery and danger. You can get free of the pills, Billie. Please stay with us and keep posting. Never give up.
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