countrygirl2014

I was asked by an old timer a difficult but simple question tonight. "So Jen, do you know what to do with all your extra free time now" I thought about it a second. I have spent the day waiting for 4 pm so I could start drinking, the rest of the night drunk and most of the next day nurturing a hangover. I laughed and said "no", he laughed because he's been here and I will ask you all now...how have you filled in the holes in your day that used to be your drinking time? How did you gain motivation each day? I'm having a really hard time getting motivated. I just sit here. And not drink. I am doing step work at least 30 minutes a day, and journaling and writing on here. May I have some pointers please?

Jennifer

BirdsAteMyFace

Personally, I have been doing all of the things I was neglecting while I was drinking. Cooking, and cleaning. Spending time doing things I used to love. Most importantly, spending more quality time with my family.

Coldfusion

I seem to spend a lot of time here at SoberRecovery. My wife doesn't mind and the cat loves to sit in my lap.

countrygirl2014

lol, cold fusion. Hi kitty

Jennifer

Soberwolf

Exercise, reading, college course ?

countrygirl2014

I have been talking about walking. I think today I should start that. And I signed up for college, I'm just waiting for the what I have to do next. Great ideas SoberWolf

Jennifer

FreeOwl

Exercise.

Starting a volunteer coding club for kids.

Volunteering with area schools.

Spending sober, meaningful time with my Lady and our kids.

Making progress in projects around the house.

Working in budgeting and bills to right my financial disasters.

Walks.

Runs.

Skiing.

Surfing.

Journaling.

Writing.

Visiting with friends.

Playing guitar.

Cooking.

Helping others.

Reading.

Going to AA

Working the steps

There is SO much time and so many wonderful things to do when we stop spending half our waking lives poisoning ourselves.

IOAA2

Relatively early in my sobriety we had a group of sober alcoholics visit nursing homes in which alcoholics were staying, most had sober time.
It was a great way to comfort people in need and was great an experience for us doing it. We felt it is giving back what we received and we met some very interesting sober people.

BE WELL

sickofthiscrap

I'm probably more productive in sobriety but I am finding myself bored and listless at times. My social life pretty music sucks these days. I am sleeping a lot, sometimes out of sheer tiredness and sometimes to escape.

I clean a lot more. I read, write, watch a shitload of movies and work on crochet projects. Thinking I will start hitting the gym in the new year.

countrygirl2014

That is a really nice idea.

I always said, when I was actively drunk or high, I'm going to write a story of my life and how awful it was to me.

I am going to start writing my life story. But it will be more like how awful I handled life. I plan on sharing it one day. In hopes it will help another alcoholic/ addict.

But first, today, I am actually going to dry my hair. I don't look nice anymore. And I never do anything with my hair.

Jennifer

jazzfish

I identify those holes in my time where nothing is going on. Then I make a real schedule and fill those holes with activities. If not, it is too easy to convince myself that doing nothing is my preferred option. I like to use that time to experiment with different things and find out what I like. Or with things I know that I like, such as baking, I schedule in time to try a new recipe or improve on a certain skill. Really the options are endless. Of course, having some lazy me time in front of the TV is fine as long as it isn't so much that it is becoming bored and restless time.

The one thing I keep in mind is that it is virtually impossible to find a single activity to replace all the time I devoted to drinking, so I have to be creative.

Fly N Buy

Glad you're posting Jen - Good for you!
I dusted off some old hobbies and signed up for an online class. There are many, many free classes in numerous subject area.


Also became more engaged in cleaning out some closets and rooms that hadn't been touch in awhile.

Since you're in program as well, after a bit I started filling time with speaker meetings and different group meetings. Gathered others phone numbers and started reaching out to folks. At six months, I have newer member now asking for mine.

Slowly, the days have become more filled - meetings help to shorten the day


You are doing #1 though, don't drink. All other things will come, but I found with a clear head I could create a useful sense of purpose. We are both just at the beginning of a great journey!

But the motivation can be tough - a lot of alcoholics are indeed procrastinators and have a level of sloth.....I started with simple things - clean out a drawer. Clean off my desk. Tasks that could be accomplished in a short period of time but do indeed motivate me to do other things with out becoming manic about them.


Glad we are all doing it together!
Kind Regards,
FlyN

GroundhogDay

What is it about 4 p.m? That was also my cue to open the wine bottle. I have filled my time with a mix of exercise, doing some chores I have procrastinated on, and volunteer work. Lately, I am becoming more socially active, but try not to over schedule myself.

Low

Exercise! It gets the serotonin levels kicking in that we alcoholics are lacking in, (and have temporally) destroyed that cause depression etc. Once that serotonin kicks in life becomes very interesting and there are endless things to do with ones time! In recovery, I believe and those that are long term successful at it, have to create a new life, sometimes daily...If one just stops drinking and adds nothing to it, or searches, or helps others, your chances are slim, but beyond that, it is a unhappy sobriety, not a contented one. I remember reading a long time ago that regular boredom is a true sign of spiritual disconnect..(not religious mind you) I whole heartily agree...Exercise expands our minds. Get out there! You'll be amazed at the changes.

Julie59

Flynbuy

But the motivation can be tough - a lot of alcoholics are indeed procrastinators and have a level of sloth.....I started with simple things - clean out a drawer. Clean off my desk. Tasks that could be accomplished in a short period of time but do indeed motivate me to do other things with out becoming manic about them

motivation and procrastination are amongsy my biggest hurdles at the moment... so I do understand where you are coming from Country girl...

2muchpain

I do well if I have structure in my life, so each night, I plan for the next day. Included in this plan is going to the gym 5 times a week, 3 AA meetings, SR twice a day and work 3 or 4 days a week. To try to avoid boredom with this schedule and to push myself out of my comfort level, I'll look for other things to do like taking in a baseball game, learning how to kayak, go to football games or go to a movie. I have a side list of things to include when possible, like going to hockey games, concerts, theaters, etc. Saturday is my "open day", where I can just veg out and just do things around my apartment or do something I have been putting off. Hope this helps. John

Altoids

Wow! Great question. I find myself in a lot of these responses. I have always been a super active and social person. Drinking hit me later in life. Now-a-days I can spend an entire day really doing nothing. I clean, write and call people, go for a walk. . .but mostly I'm just filling hours. I don't want to drink at all and never want to go back to drinking. It was never really a part of my life before empty nest. Motivation to do anything is just gone except. I'm not depressed or anything, and I go to bed each night knowing I didn't do anything to hurt anyone and grateful for a gorgeous day.

As far as doing classes or joining clubs or following any sort of plan. . . I get into it all excited and then the "meh" starts, and I do not follow through. I figure that a spark will hit me one of these days and life will take off again. So in the meantime, I'm just maintaining, not doing anything to hurt myself or anyone, and keeping as healthy as I can.

I am seeing a doctor about the continual "meh" feeling and she is trying some hormone balancing. So far I don't feel any different, but we are working on making me as healthy as possible.

Tonks

It really can't be stressed enough: Exercise, exercise, exercise. Couple that with a healthy diet and you start to feel like you've been born again.

HOUMJM

Good post - thanks. When I came back to recovery 44 days ago, this place was where I first reached out for help. And Thank God everyone here was so welcoming. But, for me, I knew from a previous stint of sobriety, and a pretty good quality one, that I not only needed to go back to AA, but jump in wholeheartedly with both feet. I;ve gone from dreading going back to AA, to very much looking forward to a meeting every day. Have three different places I go nearby, and each has their own flavor so to speak. Hard to beat a daily hour of free therapy !!! Well, OK $ 1.0. :-)
Secondly - exercise exercise exercise !!! I am in the gym daily, and then either running, biking, or swimming. Being an endorphin junkie I guess is a lot more socially accepted vs. being falling down drunk .... :-)
Have a great Sunday !!! MJM