Ellay

Sometimes having to feel all the emotions of life is hard. I know I have been stuffing my emotions with wine the past few years. Having them surface, and feeling them for what they are is tough. I am not going to drink, but man....sometimes just escaping in a glass sounds so nice. Especially with the holidays and all the crap that comes with blended families...step daughters blahblahblah. I may end up alone on Xmas day / night and that both terrifies yet soothes me.

Fly N Buy

Ellay,

Looks like your coming up on 90 days soon!! FOCUS on that, you're so worth it!
For me, I had to find a way through the emotions - not easy, but when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, alcohol is simply no longer and option. Turns out all it did was make ANYTHING I was feeling worse. The ahhhh was gone and simply an illusion.

Check out tips Dee and others have posted for the Holidays. Figure out a way to get outside yourself and help someone in need - there's plenty around!!! Do what you need to but stay the course......You'll be glad you did

As an alcoholic and having a bad day, I am an alcoholic having a bad day. If I am having a good day, I am an alcoholic having a good day.....either way, I don't drink my way through it......

Keep posting and stay strong
Kind Regards,
FlyN

Lusher

Hey Ellay-

I can relate myself. I have some holiday family stuff which is causing me a bit of anxiety. I won't lie, an adult beverage does cross my mind on occasion, so you're not alone.

Let's just hang stuff though, and ride it out.

~Stay strong~


Lusher

bunnezjp

Just do what I do when crap hits the fan: "I'm too Sober for this ****." And move along.

Bunnez

brynn

Ellay....I hear you about the emotions!
It's hard having to face and actually 'feel' them! Ugh!!
Reality sucks sometimes.
We might not be able to control the onslaught of emotions or certain situations we find ourselves in, but we can control whether we will drink or not.
I'm cheering for you, Ellay!

matilda123

Ellay, I too can so relate to your post. Wine was the way that I shut down and shut off. Feeling your feelings can really stink sometimes. I'm very early into this, but one thing I'm realizing is that alcohol numbed ALL my feelings, including feelings of happiness and joy. It also produced more bad feelings than I thought, especially anxiety, shame and worry (the latter due primarily to the fact I was having a hard time getting my work done with my whopping hangovers). It was such a vicious cycle. I felt anxious, worried and ashamed, so than I'd drink more, which would produce more anxiety, worry and shame. Phew! I'm glad to get off that merry-go-round.

Anyway, just to say I totally understand and i do believe there is a whole bright world out there for us if we keep walking the walk.

matilda123

Ellay, I too can so relate to your post. Wine was the way that I shut down and shut off. Feeling your feelings can really stink sometimes. I'm very early into this, but one thing I'm realizing is that alcohol numbed ALL my feelings, including feelings of happiness and joy. It also produced more bad feelings than I thought, especially anxiety, shame and worry (the latter due primarily to the fact I was having a hard time getting my work done with my whopping hangovers). It was such a vicious cycle. I felt anxious, worried and ashamed, so than I'd drink more, which would produce more anxiety, worry and shame. Phew! I'm glad to get off that merry-go-round.

Anyway, just to say I totally understand and i do believe there is a whole bright world out there for us if we keep walking the walk.

OmoRose

I LOVE that! Brightened my evening, and I'll be remembering that excellent advice for my own personal use.

Dee74

Sometimes I didn't want to be sober in the early days either Ellay cos sober didn't seem very appealing...

but the more you live your life sober - the more things you deal with without a drink, the better you'll feel...some of the real gifts of sobriety take a while to bed in, but once they do you won't want to go back.

I love myself and my life now - even the rough times. I could never say that in 30 years of drink of drugs.

Keep the faith

D

Wastinglife

I do very poorly over the holidays. Mainly it comes down to loneliness. I burned a lot of bridges with my alcoholism. I am 38, single, and basically alone all the time outside of work. It's tough. I relapsed last year at this time. I think I need to go to AA regularly. I've been sober but kind of a recluse. My parents are drinkers so I don't go there for Christmas. This will be my 4th Christmas alone. I can't do it anymore.

Ruby2

What Dee said. Keep the faith. Feeling emotions is still uncomfortable for me. And drinking sometimes crosses my mind but not so very often anymore. I figure that this too will pass and keep plugging away, trusting that things will even out.

courage2

Nice, Fly. Thanks.