Put sobriety first weekender thread Dec 12-14
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
In!!!
Long weekend for me with Friday off. Lots to do and looking forward to not being at work!
For me putting sobriety first means taking care of things while I am sober so that my AV doesn't have any fresh material to work with. Proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, keeping up with my responsibilities, mindfulness, being of value to others, etc. If I am doing all of those things then my AV's logic just seems silly. It's when I am not doing those things that my AV's recommendations start to seem more credible.
Let's have a great weekend y'all!
Long weekend for me with Friday off. Lots to do and looking forward to not being at work!
For me putting sobriety first means taking care of things while I am sober so that my AV doesn't have any fresh material to work with. Proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, keeping up with my responsibilities, mindfulness, being of value to others, etc. If I am doing all of those things then my AV's logic just seems silly. It's when I am not doing those things that my AV's recommendations start to seem more credible.
Let's have a great weekend y'all!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
I'm in too!
Nonsensical, that strategy makes a lot of sense. Staying busy with productive things leaves a lot less space for that dreaded AV to creep in. If life is full of good things then the AV doesn't stand a chance!
I need to start planning how I'm going to stay busy. No matter what plan I choose it's going to be a tough weekend for me. I'm not trying to go into it with that mentality or anything, but it already is because someone changed plans on me in a way that hurts. They were sensitive to my feelings, and still invited me to the newly changed plan (which is a drinking party), and I was supportive (I mean what am I gonna do, beg someone to hang out with sober me instead of go to the holiday party they were planning to go to for months?) but yeah, I'm still somewhat hurt and sad. But I understand, and I'm working on letting go.
So my options involve either a) spending the weekend alone, in which case I'll be lonely, and grieving alone (trigger risk) but also doing work, drinking coffee, eating cookies, and working out, or b) hanging out with people who drink (another trigger risk.)
Either way I'm staying sober, and I'm setting up some checks and balances so I don't turn directly to the bottle. Either way I'll be sticking around here with you beautiful people
Nonsensical, that strategy makes a lot of sense. Staying busy with productive things leaves a lot less space for that dreaded AV to creep in. If life is full of good things then the AV doesn't stand a chance!
I need to start planning how I'm going to stay busy. No matter what plan I choose it's going to be a tough weekend for me. I'm not trying to go into it with that mentality or anything, but it already is because someone changed plans on me in a way that hurts. They were sensitive to my feelings, and still invited me to the newly changed plan (which is a drinking party), and I was supportive (I mean what am I gonna do, beg someone to hang out with sober me instead of go to the holiday party they were planning to go to for months?) but yeah, I'm still somewhat hurt and sad. But I understand, and I'm working on letting go.
So my options involve either a) spending the weekend alone, in which case I'll be lonely, and grieving alone (trigger risk) but also doing work, drinking coffee, eating cookies, and working out, or b) hanging out with people who drink (another trigger risk.)
Either way I'm staying sober, and I'm setting up some checks and balances so I don't turn directly to the bottle. Either way I'll be sticking around here with you beautiful people
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
okay, I'm in...
frustration - why can't fedex tell me when - within a few hours is good enough - my package will be here. Customer service is just down the street from BigS and in her best English all she is allowed to tell me is between 9 AM and 8PM!
This thing can't be left outside in freezing weather. So I can't leave.
Well I guess I can clean the house while I wait.
frustration - why can't fedex tell me when - within a few hours is good enough - my package will be here. Customer service is just down the street from BigS and in her best English all she is allowed to tell me is between 9 AM and 8PM!
This thing can't be left outside in freezing weather. So I can't leave.
Well I guess I can clean the house while I wait.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
Clemintina-I found myself alone a lot on the weekends also with nothing to do.So now I'm doing some volunteer work with children-mainly a disadvantaged 6 year old boy. This has been very rewarding for me, I've met new people, and always have something real fun to do on the weekends if I choose to. And he loves anything he does with me. You might want to consider some volunteer work.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Ok. Down time at work. I can type on tiny phone. Welcome keithurbanfan, MidnightBlue and Clementina. Its good to see you hear. Brynn, good job on six days.
Clementina, Non has good advice. I always try to make plans and then back up plans to the plans. I'm sorry you are disappointed. But protecting your sobriety is important.
Strategery, reports and more dang reports. I think the botanic gardens sounds much more peaceful.
Happyandfree, I think I will join you in baking this weekend. Maybe I will get some done for giving as gifts. I'm so bad at it and my circle of friends and family is so small that we would be eating most of them ourselves.
Back to paperwork. Statistics. Bleah.
Clementina, Non has good advice. I always try to make plans and then back up plans to the plans. I'm sorry you are disappointed. But protecting your sobriety is important.
Strategery, reports and more dang reports. I think the botanic gardens sounds much more peaceful.
Happyandfree, I think I will join you in baking this weekend. Maybe I will get some done for giving as gifts. I'm so bad at it and my circle of friends and family is so small that we would be eating most of them ourselves.
Back to paperwork. Statistics. Bleah.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I have to laugh at LBrain, FedEx's busiest time of year and you want an ETA?
I got to the point where I had those kinds of packages sent to a mail drop, or someone's work address.
Okay, protecting sobriety. When I was about 20 years old I was skydiving every weekend. There are a lot of dangerous things about it, as you can imagine. One of the big things is you don't want to be over or under someone when you pull that ripcord - for obvious reasons. As I progressed into more and more complicated jumps, there were more and more people in the air and it became harder to look out for others - just so many people in close proximity at 2000 feet. One jump I could not find clear air. People above, people below, I was in freefall at 1500 feet. That's dangerous! Need parachute - NOW! So I pulled the ripcord.
I survived.
I hit survival instinct.
I decided there is a law of diminishing responsibility. If I wanted to live, I had to look out for me. Especially as I'm freefalling through 1300 feet, looking for the perfect clear air.
I think getting and staying sober is a game of diminishing responsibility. I got myself in, I had to get myself out. No one has any say over that, no one can pull the ripcord for me, conversely no one will pull it for me. I will go in in a blaze of broken bones if I don't take care of business.
I got to the point where I had those kinds of packages sent to a mail drop, or someone's work address.
Okay, protecting sobriety. When I was about 20 years old I was skydiving every weekend. There are a lot of dangerous things about it, as you can imagine. One of the big things is you don't want to be over or under someone when you pull that ripcord - for obvious reasons. As I progressed into more and more complicated jumps, there were more and more people in the air and it became harder to look out for others - just so many people in close proximity at 2000 feet. One jump I could not find clear air. People above, people below, I was in freefall at 1500 feet. That's dangerous! Need parachute - NOW! So I pulled the ripcord.
I survived.
I hit survival instinct.
I decided there is a law of diminishing responsibility. If I wanted to live, I had to look out for me. Especially as I'm freefalling through 1300 feet, looking for the perfect clear air.
I think getting and staying sober is a game of diminishing responsibility. I got myself in, I had to get myself out. No one has any say over that, no one can pull the ripcord for me, conversely no one will pull it for me. I will go in in a blaze of broken bones if I don't take care of business.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Just checking in...tonight is the start of my weekend..eek!! Feeling a little scattered and trying to focus on the only thing that truly matters...my sobriety!
Ok so, one of the ways I'm going to protect my sobriety is to stay away from my alcoholic partner...I moved out Monday (temporarily) to give myself a chance at this sobriety deal...I've been tempted to go back home to 'talk' which will translate into me giving in, moving back, and kissing my 6 days goodbye!
I'm also making a list of things I want/need to do this weekend to keeping busy...going to treat myself to a mani/pedi and massage too!...courtesy of my booze money....didn't realize how much money I wasted on booze! Forget the lottery...just get sober and you'll feel like a freaking millionaire!
Ok so, one of the ways I'm going to protect my sobriety is to stay away from my alcoholic partner...I moved out Monday (temporarily) to give myself a chance at this sobriety deal...I've been tempted to go back home to 'talk' which will translate into me giving in, moving back, and kissing my 6 days goodbye!
I'm also making a list of things I want/need to do this weekend to keeping busy...going to treat myself to a mani/pedi and massage too!...courtesy of my booze money....didn't realize how much money I wasted on booze! Forget the lottery...just get sober and you'll feel like a freaking millionaire!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
getting sober was the second most sucky thing in my life , the most sucky was staying in my pit i'd dug drunk .
I had no expectations and thought life would be hard and painful sober … it's actually not been that bad … far better than being drunk, sick and hungover .
I like the optimism that creeps over me nowadays , i like the confidence that things will be ok-ish . The freedom that acceptance of life/death and stuff being just the way it is brings .
Sometimes i wonder if i'd blown a fuse somewhere along the way there … that this peace isn't a kinda living death of passion , but then someone cut me up in traffic and there was big resentment , ha ha ha turns out I'm human , all too human sometimes ..
Have a nice weekend , team
keep on , m
I had no expectations and thought life would be hard and painful sober … it's actually not been that bad … far better than being drunk, sick and hungover .
I like the optimism that creeps over me nowadays , i like the confidence that things will be ok-ish . The freedom that acceptance of life/death and stuff being just the way it is brings .
Sometimes i wonder if i'd blown a fuse somewhere along the way there … that this peace isn't a kinda living death of passion , but then someone cut me up in traffic and there was big resentment , ha ha ha
turns out I'm human , all too human sometimes .. Have a nice weekend , team
keep on , m
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Mecanix, awesome post and it brought me to something I was just going to mention. Crossword puzzle clue "Harbor a grudge against" Resent! Gosh that one was easy for me to answer. All those grudges, fleeting and long term, had to be dealt with. I had to let go of some of them and with others just accept I have no control over other people of certain situations.
Brynn. I am speaking from experience. That break is SO important and valuable. I think I posted on here but I had just started getting sober last December and my husband was still out of control. When he went out on christmas eve to partu and didnt come home for Christmas day, I refused to let him back home 2 days later. He became sober after that and barribg a one day slip he is maintaining and he is back home. However, I don't know how long I would have stayed sober if I had not had that break. It was crucial. So don't back down is my suggestions. Maintain a loving but solid distance.
I hate typing on phone. Guess I did a good job but it's annoying. Day flying by. Will check in from office later.
Brynn. I am speaking from experience. That break is SO important and valuable. I think I posted on here but I had just started getting sober last December and my husband was still out of control. When he went out on christmas eve to partu and didnt come home for Christmas day, I refused to let him back home 2 days later. He became sober after that and barribg a one day slip he is maintaining and he is back home. However, I don't know how long I would have stayed sober if I had not had that break. It was crucial. So don't back down is my suggestions. Maintain a loving but solid distance.
I hate typing on phone. Guess I did a good job but it's annoying. Day flying by. Will check in from office later.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
Whoops, I'm Sober
Congrats Thepatman! I certainly remember my first time!
I don't sweat Relapses because they're off the mental Table for me now at 11 months in as of yesterday. That said, here is a mighty fine anti-Relapse Anthem that Da Wife had blasting when I came back from letting the Pooch run around. See below. Co-written by Bryan Adams. Intro by the inimitable, digital 'Max Headroom'.
Ain't gonna regress to 'Back Where [You] Started'. For one pragmatic thing, I don't have another Home Detox & Recovery in me. So far, the Holidays ain't bad. We got some Invites the other night to pending Soirees that were gonna be mostly/all Drinkers. My response: 'Not tonight, Dear. I don't have a Headache'!
'You'll be back where you started
I know you won't admit it but you're broken hearted
Back where you started
You think it's gonna be easy
But it just gets harder, harder...'
'Back Where You Started' ~ Tina Turner ~ Live
-----
I don't sweat Relapses because they're off the mental Table for me now at 11 months in as of yesterday. That said, here is a mighty fine anti-Relapse Anthem that Da Wife had blasting when I came back from letting the Pooch run around. See below. Co-written by Bryan Adams. Intro by the inimitable, digital 'Max Headroom'.
Ain't gonna regress to 'Back Where [You] Started'. For one pragmatic thing, I don't have another Home Detox & Recovery in me. So far, the Holidays ain't bad. We got some Invites the other night to pending Soirees that were gonna be mostly/all Drinkers. My response: 'Not tonight, Dear. I don't have a Headache'!
'You'll be back where you started
I know you won't admit it but you're broken hearted
Back where you started
You think it's gonna be easy
But it just gets harder, harder...'
'Back Where You Started' ~ Tina Turner ~ Live
-----
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 425
I'm in too.
30 Days Sober Today! Feeling good. Going back to the doc for a follow up this afternoon.
More work tomorrow, then WEEKEND!
Decorations went up last weekend. This weekend is shopping. And hopefully some downtime to write, which is incidentally a big part of the "Protecting my Sobriety" plan. Along with the HALT thing. But I need a W in there.
HAWLT?
WHALT?
30 Days Sober Today! Feeling good. Going back to the doc for a follow up this afternoon.
More work tomorrow, then WEEKEND!
Decorations went up last weekend. This weekend is shopping. And hopefully some downtime to write, which is incidentally a big part of the "Protecting my Sobriety" plan. Along with the HALT thing. But I need a W in there.
HAWLT?
WHALT?
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I'm in.
Okay, protecting sobriety. When I was about 20 years old I was skydiving every weekend. There are a lot of dangerous things about it, as you can imagine. One of the big things is you don't want to be over or under someone when you pull that ripcord - for obvious reasons. As I progressed into more and more complicated jumps, there were more and more people in the air and it became harder to look out for others - just so many people in close proximity at 2000 feet. One jump I could not find clear air. People above, people below, I was in freefall at 1500 feet. That's dangerous! Need parachute - NOW! So I pulled the ripcord.
I survived.
I hit survival instinct.
I decided there is a law of diminishing responsibility. If I wanted to live, I had to look out for me. Especially as I'm freefalling through 1300 feet, looking for the perfect clear air.
I think getting and staying sober is a game of diminishing responsibility. I got myself in, I had to get myself out. No one has any say over that, no one can pull the ripcord for me, conversely no one will pull it for me. I will go in in a blaze of broken bones if I don't take care of business. This is an excellent analogy, Bim! Glad you took care of (and are taking care of) #1!
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Okay, protecting sobriety. When I was about 20 years old I was skydiving every weekend. There are a lot of dangerous things about it, as you can imagine. One of the big things is you don't want to be over or under someone when you pull that ripcord - for obvious reasons. As I progressed into more and more complicated jumps, there were more and more people in the air and it became harder to look out for others - just so many people in close proximity at 2000 feet. One jump I could not find clear air. People above, people below, I was in freefall at 1500 feet. That's dangerous! Need parachute - NOW! So I pulled the ripcord.
I survived.
I hit survival instinct.
I decided there is a law of diminishing responsibility. If I wanted to live, I had to look out for me. Especially as I'm freefalling through 1300 feet, looking for the perfect clear air.
I think getting and staying sober is a game of diminishing responsibility. I got myself in, I had to get myself out. No one has any say over that, no one can pull the ripcord for me, conversely no one will pull it for me. I will go in in a blaze of broken bones if I don't take care of business.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I had an opportunity to put sobriety first this morning. I took my dad to the eye doctor, and he had three issues of Wine Spectator magazine. Even though I have the palate of a rock (any rotgut will do), I love seeing anything with ratings--enquiring minds want to know! I used to love Cigar Aficionado, too.
But, even though there was nothing more interesting there to read, I did not pick the magazines up. I just sat there and waited. No need to fill my head with images of wine being savored!
But, even though there was nothing more interesting there to read, I did not pick the magazines up. I just sat there and waited. No need to fill my head with images of wine being savored!
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