Mrrryah1

Day 12 sober from all drugs/alcohol. Day 8 or 9 nicotine free....

I'm working on my step 4 right now........ well I've been working on it for a long time, months actually. My sponsor is having me read it with her this weekend, as we had originally scheduled... even though I relapsed several times since I started writing it.

I'm nervous, scared, and I feel like I'm missing a whole bunch of stuff that I can't remember. But who knows. Maybe this step 5 will give me the kick I need to stay sober for good. I guess it can't really do any harm. I've been relapsing all over the place anyways for a long time.

Other than that, I'm feeling pretty depressed lately. Maybe a combination of my step 4 making me feel like a bad person, and my body still adjusting to being sober. I'm back on my anti-D/A meds, for about a week now so hopefully those will start to help..

Bright side, I haven't really thought about drinking at all for the past 12 days.....

Anywayz. Hope everyone is having a good day. Just wanted to say hi and check in.

SoberLeigh

Hi Mrrryah; I have never attended AA so I don't know anything about Step 4 except that, from reading here at SR, it seems to be a very challenging step but a very cleansing and healing one. Hope that you find it the same.

Proud of you, Mrrryah.

BirdsAteMyFace

I had an anxiety attack even thinking about my 4th Step today. So I feel you. Good luck.

IOAA2

Hi.
Besides getting sober doing the 4th was the best thing I could have done for myself, a real eye opener!
I had fears also doing it mainly because of anxiety of the 5th. Someone suggested not giving any thought to the 5th and concentrate on the 4th.

This step work can easily be a regular work in progress of say once or twice a year. We are the ones that benefit and each time it’s worked on we swear that this or that was not there the last time we did it. Amazing!

BE WELL

Anna

I am not an AA person either, but I hope that this writing will help you move forward with your recovery.

JanieJ

Mrrryah, maybe you did some things you are not proud of , I know I did. But you're making amends now.

Good luck hun x

hokey

I use to feel physically ill, stressing about step 4. After I finally did it (to the best of my ability!), I looked back on it and thought "well ... that wasn't so bad". It was hard to face some of the stuff I did and to admit to my parts in all the crap of my drinking years, but it was definitely enlightening and liberating. I went into step 5 knowing that no matter what I shared with my sponsor, I wouldn't be judged. Good luck Mrrryah!

Soberwolf

Well done Mrrryah

autan

Personally I found AA and the steps unhelpful. I had one goal and that was to remain sober, by any means necessary. Involved myself more in my family. I de-stressed my life, decreased the number of hours worked and took better care of myself. Anything else was an unwelcome distraction.