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Old 12-10-2014, 10:12 AM
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I'll keep this short and sweet. It was suggested to me to skip the AA meeting and go to my sponsors and make cookies. Cookies aren't going to keep me sober. I was also told how she doesn't wish to speak about AA cuz that's all everyone talks about.
Red flags, she fed my AV nice and I am actively trying to find a new sponsor. I asked someone, who could have just said no, but she actually became irate about it. Which made me cry on my way home. And made me wAnt to drink. I am calmed down for now. I called someone else and she may be working, but at least I left a message. She was recommended to me a while back but I found her, angelic in a way and intimidating. I swear she glows. It's scary. A sign maybe? Keep your fingers crossed for me. I need this.

Jennifer
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Old 12-10-2014, 10:16 AM
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Okay. Breathe.

Whether or not you have a sponsor, you still have phone numbers and you have us.

Your sponsor's suggestion may have rubbed you the wrong way for whatever reason, but it's good to have fun and bake cookies, you know? A day of cookies with sober women sounds really fun to me. It is part of recovery. I always thought social things with AA friends was as good as a meeting...and we didn't talk about the program. We ate and sang and danced and drank coffee and laughed.
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Old 12-10-2014, 10:25 AM
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Bimini, thank you. You are pointing out my over reaction and that is good.

I guess I would be more open to the cookies with her if some work had been done yet. I have whined about her before. It has been over 70 days and she does not want to talk about AA. Or anything related to the steps or recovery. If I bring it up the subject quickly gets changed to whatever she is doing. She stopped going to meetings. She abandoned her commitments. I have spoken to her about my disappointments. I really can't shake this gut feeling that she is in this for social reasons. And the lady I asked today confirmed that. I guess I am going over this because I have never had a sponsor. This is my first one. But I can't shake the feeling this isn't right.

Oh by the way, I did get an invite to a sober cookie exchange today. And we don't have to blow off a meeting to do it.

Jennifer
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Old 12-10-2014, 10:34 AM
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Hi.
Quite often a good sponsor for us is someone we would like to be like. The best way to find this person is going to meetings and listening. You can also ask someone to be your temporary sponsor and that often works out in the long run.

The great thing is your using a sponsor as many say they have one but forget who.

BE WELL
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Old 12-10-2014, 10:36 AM
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Well this sponsor sounds like she would be a great friend. It is really nice having sober people around. If you do not find that she is helping you in the way you need - that's okay. Read the Big Book of AA, go to your meetings, talk to people, stay sober, and one day, hopefully soon, you will find a sponsor that suits you a bit better.

And about this woman who intimidates you a bit, that may be a good sign! I know most of my best decisions were ones that got my nerves going a little bit - she may even help keep you accountable.

Change can be a struggle, but you're in the correct direction!
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Old 12-10-2014, 10:41 AM
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I don't think my sponsor would ever blow off commitments or decline a meeting if I asked her to go.

Life happens but I just can't imagine her saying "lets bake cookies instead"

I have had fun with other woman in AA were we did not discuss AA much, we just had a good time and that was fun but if I came in upset about a life issue I can almost guarantee it would change to a recovery conversation right quick.

I am not sure what is going on with your sponsor but it sounds like something is not right there.

I hope you find someone else, even a temporary sponsor, soon.
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Old 12-10-2014, 10:42 AM
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I hope you continue to move forward with your recovery, with or without a sponsor.
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Old 12-10-2014, 11:54 AM
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My opinion, with what ya say here,is follow yer gut. That could be God talkin to ya and if YOU want to get into the footwork of the steps and your sponsor keeps pushing it aside....that's a problem.
I think yu know the solution.
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Old 12-10-2014, 12:08 PM
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Breathe. DO NOT DRINK.

AA is made up of all sorts of people, including some odd balls. Don't take it offensively. Give it time. Until then, do you have numbers of people you can call for support?

We are here with you. You are so proud of all you have accomplished and we are proud of you too. Don't let other people who are acting inappropriately ruin that.

Tight hugs and much love coming your way!
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Old 12-10-2014, 12:19 PM
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Thank you so much guys.

I am going to try asking the glowing, intimidating lady. I think she scares me because I know she is about work. She stands out to me. Not in a bad way, in a way I have no words for.

There's not a whole lot of options out here in the country. If this doesn't work I might head 30 minutes in the other direction. Try some other meetings.

I AM going to continue working on myself. I am thankful I have you guys and a lot knowledge in a little time. I have learned so much about myself and substance abuse already, if I were to drink now, omg...just the thought of the mental state I would be in.

Jennifer
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