tonib

So my day went fine up untill it was time to leave... once again my boss had to yell at me about something stupid.. i really think she wants me to quit... but i couldn't take it anymore so i yelled back an said "if im doing so damn bad why am i still here then" her response was "u figure it out" then she walked out.. mind boggling right.. well today i decided to call in im mentally not up to her abuse today...

LBrain

Getting sober and handling our life can be two separate issues. But when we let one get in the way of the other it could spell disaster.
Hopefully this stress in your life doesn't take you down - back to drinking.
Hang in there. I know this has been an issue for some time. Have you looked into other options lately? Is there another 'boss type' person there you can bring this up to? HR department? Don't know enough details but I know your saga has been building.
Good luck.

Thepatman

This is harassment. Were I work, we have a 0 tolerance policy.

Most places do, because the last thing they need is a law sue over someone jumping out a window.

So just jump over her head and go talk to senior management or your HR department.
She is trying to put fear into you, don't budge. Don't stay at home today, beat the iron while it's hot. Call your HR department.

Calling in sick is giving her the ammo she needs.

Be strong, don't drink over it, but do get that bitch back in her place. Popcorn middle manager.

Now you got me going, Grrrrrr!

Ruby2

I think it's time to face the lion in her den. My suggestion is to call your boss and ask to meet with her to discus the situation. This will continue until someone blows a gasket. Calling in the next day after each of these encounters, while sometimes looking tempting to salve your mental health, is going to cement your bosses opinion of you. You don't back down. You go in and give it your best. You probably will not like what I have to say but I am speaking from having learned the very hard way because I was seen as an unreliable screw up. Businesses can't run with a bunch of bruised egos and hurt feelings. They don't care what's going on at home. If you keep calling in it will only get worse. I don't know how old you are but trust me. I've been in your shoes and do have empathy for you. Please don't drink over this. Meet with the boss with a clear head on your shoulders. Go in with a pad of paper, pen and a list of questions.

strategery

I would quit tonib. I have been bullied in a work environment and looking back, I wish I would have quit sooner. There is no reason to tolerate that kind of work environment. Start looking for another job.

Thepatman

^^^ Totally this.

suki44883

I wouldn't quit until I had secured another job. That would just be cutting off your own nose despite your face.

JT0626

Oh, toni, so sorry for such a rough day at work. I had a very frustrating day yesterday too. I think Ruby gave you good advice.

Hang in there.... (((Hugs)))

Anna

Toni, if it was me, I would go to my boss's boss and explain what is happening. Document the harassment and then make the call.

ArtFriend

I don't know what she meant by "you figure it out". Do you? Anyway, I had a bullying boss when I worked at IBM. She treated me like a child and an idiot. I put up with it until I was about to burst and then I decided to confront her. I was calm and had all my ducks in a row. She backed down and stopped harassing me after that. I took the wind out of her sails. Just my experience... maybe you need to document and face her directly. Or perhaps arrange a meeting with her manager and the two of you.

ScottFromWI

Lots of good advice here Toni. As bad as the situation seems, and as unfair as your boss seems to be acting, you are going to need to take action if anything is going to change. That means either reconciling things with your boss via some kind of third party ( her boss, an employee representative if you have such a thing, etc ) or finding a different job. You also need to make sure you stay calm....snapping back or losing your cool in the work environment can be ammunition used against you.

Do you work at a company that is large enough to have a human resources director or department? Contact them and see what your options are. If you work for a small business where your boss is the owner, your only option may be to move on.

bunnezjp

Let HR know about the situation. Meanwhile, I'd spruce up my resume and start putting out feelers for something better. As much as it sucks, don't quit before you get another opportunity....unless you have a financial lifeline to hold you up until you find work.

Bunnez

Soberpotamus

Toni, have you considered confronting her and letting her know she is abusive? Is there an HR department you can go to?

Honestly, I'd be looking for a new job asap.

tonib

I had no choice but to call in i couldn't go mentally.. i already have aniety an it was at a 10...so i called in.. but contacted the eeoc an filed a complaint... i talked to the ceo an she just justified everything an said my boss is under a lot of stress an screams at times.. but all this started when i hired an employee she didn't want me to.... she told me to not hire people just people just because they are my shade an the right color for me... and being i refused to fire the girl she just being harassing me daily. Honestly guys i just can't do it anymore... my health an sobriety depends on it..

Soberpotamus

Wow, well that's discrimination AND harassment, it seems.

I really hope you go over the head of the CEO... to someone outside the company. This is nuts. You shouldn't have to put up with this.

SoberCAH

My sponsor made me do this a good bit early on.

It's no fun, but now I do it reflexively (something about intuitively knowing how to handle things which used to baffle me) when circumstances require me to stand up for myself.

I admire your putting your sobriety first, Toni.

Whatever is second in importance behind my sobriety is so far back I can't even see it in the rearview mirror.

Keep up posted and take care of yourself.

Dee74

I would definitely be looking for another job Toni - and if I read your last post right, you have a nice legal case against your employers for those 'your shade' remarks.

Notimetoloose

I find it very interesting that when you stood your ground, she walked out....don't you think?....
Perhaps she did not like the back confrontation!!... and seriously, what sort of answer is "u figure it out"!!!!

She sounds like a bully....targeting someone to try and make herself feel better or feel something...usually someone vulnerable.

Her behaviour is awful and I am sorry, conflict in the workplace is not nice at any time...is there some way you can report it...I feel it is important that at least it is noted, documented to her superiors....
Go to the doctors and get a Docs certificate stating a mental health day was needed due to her behaviour....Arm your self....and keep a look out for a new job.

VikingGF

Your boss is breaking some employment laws, tonib. She sounds like a mean kid on the school playground. Take the good advice on this thread and do make sure you are not putting your sobriety at risk by staying.

Pipping

Get out of there Toni. People like your boss are toxic and the best thing you can do for yourself is leave. Do you have a union? Don't let this ruin your sobriety. Good luck.xx