Findingtheway

Today marks 68 days. These past 4 now, continuing into today, have been...Well tough...I've been scattered, depressed, angry, sad, despondent...Snappy with people i work with.

But by reading articles/posts etc...I have to BELIEVE this will pass.

I just took a walk during my lunch break...And the cold air did some good, but the REALLY scary part of it...Was that i felt the OLD pull...Wanting me to pick up before i went back to the office.

Call that craving?...And obsessive idea?...I squashed it pretty good, went and got a Tuna Thai wrap and large coffee instead.

Back in the office now...Still tired, but the coffee may help.

Just need to remind myself WHY i'm committing to sobriety.

Alcohol literally killed me last time, 68 days ago i awoke in the hospital. All because i thought a bottle of whiskey sounded like an OK idea.

Scary, but that thought returned today. Today i challenged it. Today i have some *sober muscles* as my sponsor calls them.

AA meeting tomorrow. I'm going to go home and write this out today...I meet my sponsor every Wednesday for 1 hour prior to our meeting we go to.

Alcohol = Insanity, or Death.

Thanks SR. *DEEP BREATH* feels better. I've got this!

countrygirl2014

You need some rest! And a meeting. I always feel better after a meeting. I was this same way last week. Just a few solid days of "this isn't worth it" but I forced myself to go to the meetings, forced myself to call my sponsor, forced myself to check in here. And the sun is shining again even in this crummy weather we are having.

Jennifer

Soberwolf

Finding well done so much 68 days is exellent your getting through some down days aswell you reach out you encourage i think your doing really well

that tuna thai wrap sounded tasty as heck

congrats friensd

bigsombrero

Hi Findingtheway,

Your words sound familiar. I last took a drink 2.5 years ago, and also woke up in the hospital. Sounds like we both came to the same conclusion: no more, no matter what.

I'm a bit further down the line, and I can tell you that it most certainly does get better, and easier. As life becomes more full, and more importantly more MANAGEABLE, you'll see a couple of different things. First, you'll be shocked at your abilities to learn, take on new challenges, and realize your potential. Next, you'll also be shocked when you actually look back on those old days when you were an addict.

When you're thinking of a "pick me up", that's your old addiction talking. There is nothing about a drink that would help you at all. It would only help bring you down. Stay strong, keep those walks going, stay tough. We have your back!

anattaboy

68 days is fantastic! The tough times seem long and when it's easy we think sobriety is the greatest till life happens. You will make it through this. I'm at 6 months and not sure if I'm done acclimating yet. Small, achievable goals mostly in the mild fitness arena for me are helping keep progress experiential. Whatever it takes. Thanks for posting.

VikingGF

Keep going. We all know what happens if we don't, and good things are to come. Sure, it's work and a pain in the butt sometimes, but the good outweighs the bad no matter how you look at it.

Great for you on 68 days.

brynn

Thanks for sharing...I really need to hear how other people are handling the urges.
Proud of you!

Fly N Buy

FTW - you many not realize what an inspiration you're becoming to others.......

Good for you on posting!!!
We need you here.......keep truckin!

FlyN

Thepatman

Keep trucking! A few bumps on the road is perfectly normal.