another day down
 

So today was day 5. yay.
Workload was light today so we were out early from work and I decided to catch an early meeting nearby. It was a newcomers meeting and coincidentally the woman chairing was the same woman who chaired MY newcomers meeting. It was the first time I'd seen her since that day. It was a little eerie. If I'd have gotten sober right then I'd have 3 months of sobriety by now but it is what it is and I'm still trying. Its taken me some time to admit that I AM an alcoholic. I've been dealing with a lot of denial but when it comes down to it I really cannot deny it. At one time, maybe 3 years ago, I was able to cut back for awhile. I'd tell myself that I was only going to have 4 or 5 and I'd stick to it. I'd say, ok thats enough I don't want to get sick, but somewhere between then and now I crossed a screw it line. I'd just go make myself sick so that I would feel better and continue on with my night. Somewhere between then and now I went from partying on the weekends with my friends to wanting to drink alone in my room so that no one would tell me to stop and I wouldn't embarrass myself (yeah right! I still had a phone and internet access!) Anyway, I'm only 5 days sober but I've still come a long way. You don't just unlearn everything when you have a slip. I've been going to meetings for about 3 months now and they give me hope. SR gives me hope. I had the av in my head for a minute today. I was thinking about how I'd start the night with 3 drinks in a row and that relief I'd feel when it went down. Its still tugging at me a bit. But today instead of giving in and saying screw it I'm able to tell that voice to be quiet. That feeling that I like lasts all of about 5 minutes then I want more. The thirst in unquenchable. Thank you all for being here and for all you've taught me.

Hey Erin :) great job on 5 days! I'm on day 10 and it seems as if it's starting to get a bit easier. Like you, I was in denial for the longest time. I'm 29, but have been heavily drinking since I was 21. I always just thought it was just because that's what most people do in their 20s, but that was just me justifying a bad disease. I too went from partying normally on the weekends to drinking bottles upon bottles of wine alone, and making those drunken phone calls, or worse trying to go out afterward. It's so nice to wake up sober, be productive and just enjoy life. Good job on the sobriety!

Thank you for this very honest post and congrats on your five days!
You're in control of your life and you can quiet that voice! Well done!

Congrats on day 5 Erin!
I somewhat tried to get sober a couple of years ago, but looking back I wasn't that serious about it as I am now. I got 13 days in, felt better, and decided I was fine and went back to drinking. 2 years went by. Wish I would have been more serious about it back then and had known about sober recovery.
The great thing is you're here now.

Congratulations on day 5! You're doing great!

Sooooo good congrats just to get 1 day up is a Miracle awesome stuff xx

Good choice on the meeting and on silencing the AV. 5 days is fantastic, you can do this, one day at a time.

:ringI am on day 2, "AGAIN" you can say that I am a frequent flyer! New start new day new hope!

Welcome to SR, jmaldo. Congrats on day 2!