walkingecho

Hello everyone. I posted in the Class of December 2014 post but I feel like a standalone post with a bit of my background would be cathartic for me, so here goes...

I've been drinking fairly heavily for the last 8 years. It started out pretty reasonably, I think. Not healthy, but not intensely. In 2011, I can pinpoint it getting bad. At the time I'd been playing poker for a living professionally, and had a bankroll of about 35,000$. A friend of mine died, and I got very depressed... and went through a cycle of pass-out, wake up in time to go to the store as soon as alcohol was legally sold, buy beer or wine, drink, pass-out, repeat.

I blew through the whole of my 35,000$ in probably 4 months of booze.

I never really managed to surface from that pit. I have two DUIs which ended in wrecks that I was lucky to survive (no one hurt). I'm really, really trying to make this my real and true recovery. I'm tired of vomiting. I'm tired of wasting away from lack of nutrition, lack of real sleep. I'm tired of losing jobs or relationships or family or friends. I just want to be better. So, here goes nothing.

I'm not sure what hour I passed out at last night so I can't give an accurate count on the hour of my last drink, but I'm feeling the withdrawal pretty hard right now. I'm shaking, I can't stop my restless legs. But I know for certain that when the store starts selling in three hours, I won't be there. I hope they don't go out of business for my lack of patronage, but my life is more important than their bottom line.

Thanks for your time.

Dee74

Welcome to the boards Walkingecho

I really believe that, no matter to what depths we plummeted, we can not only get up again, but we can get back to where we want to be.

It's never too late to write a new ending to your story.

I and several thousand others are testament to that

D

walkingecho

Thank you, Dee74. You can't see the view from a high peak without a climb, after all.

autan

Stopping drinking is the best way to change your life for the better, it really is.
There will be times when you want to drink, thats normal. Follow the great advice on here and listen especially to the guys on here who have been stopped for a great deal of time.

They/we do not regret our decision to make those little changes.

FreeOwl

Are you still playing poker?

I've seen gambling and alcoholism intertwined quite heavily and it seems like that would be a real tough life to stay sober in.

In any case, welcome.

This can be the start of a much better path for you. And like Dee says, you can make an incredible turnaround story out of your life if you are ready to give yourself to that goal.

HeartsAfire

Welcome to the best decision you ever made. I'm so glad you decided to join us.

downtown3

Just like dee said many have done it and you are no different. We all believe in you but you have to believe in yourself as well for it to really work. Drinking is the easy way out, sobriety is hard the first few months but the hard work and mental anguish will reap you a lifetime of great rewards. Its so worth it for you and everyone around you. Start today and never look back. Best of luck in your journey. We are all here for support.

walkingecho

I do play occasionally and honestly I've actually found it to be a healthy thing for me-- because I have a personal rule not to drink when I plan to play. I follow the airline pilot's rule '8 hours between the bottle and the throttle' because poker's a skill game and one's wits need to be about them.

I also donate a lot of my winnings to charity, which is motivation to be serious about it.

I appreciate the warm welcome! I'm very happy to be here and even having this conversation. I'm very lucky to be alive. And I'm going to stay that way, and make the most out of every moment I have.

Soberwolf

This completly

IOAA2

Hi and welcome.

My input is usually the same for most newcomers and it starts out with 2 big problems alcoholics seem to carry.

We need to be honest with our self about drinking and accept the fact we cannot drink alcohol in safety one day at a time in a row.

Simple so far. The action part is reading a lot of posts on this forum and I and many millions go to AA for daily personal face to face support. By listening we learn how to overcome this addiction and live a comfortable life.

I used to live near the top of the hill overlooking the city and know there are many meetings within a few miles.

BE WELL

walkingecho

Thank you! I agree, I'm very glad too. I shopped around for a while to find a community that I thought best fit me and what I was seeing here from the users and moderators alike was absolutely encouraging.

Also my thanks to downtown3 for the support and wisdom.

walkingecho

I have every intention of going to one tonight, as it happens, at 8pm. Thank you!

Soberwolf

Well done Walking

Cecilia44

Welcome echo. Great that you are going to a meeting.

I would also advise going to see your Dr. if the withdrawals get too bad.

Welcome to SR!

walkingecho

Thank you Cecilia. I'm going to monitor the situation very carefully and do whatever I have to, if it gets to that point. Trying to avoid it for now for job/life reasons but health will come first if it gets right down to it.

countrygirl2014

I'm so glad you joined us. Welcome!

Jennifer

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Walkingecho!!

JanieJ

Welcome, Echo.

This is a big friendly boat. Grab an oar !

Anna

Welcome!

It sounds like you're ready to make the change and begin to live a sober life.

Hevyn

Great to meet you Walkingecho.

I was drinking all day when I came here. Realizing others understood how I was feeling made all the difference to me. I had no one else to turn to, and I was instantly less anxious and filled with hope. We're so glad you found us - there's no doubt that you can do this.