That sounds extreme enough to me that nothing you need to do in order to get sober seems extreme to me....

Hello Brynn let us know how you are

Just wanted to check in and let y'all know that I was able to leave this morning after he went to work. The thing is, I feel so guilty...like I sneaking off doing something horrible! We had words last night...just him telling me I was no fun anymore, stuff like that....but this morning he apologized. I told him I needed his support because this was really important to me and I couldn't keep going on like this. All he said was 'this is your deal, don't expect me to quit and don't expect me to do anything AA related...' I was kind of giving him a chance at an out...if he would have said ANYTHING remotely supportive, I probably would have stayed.
But I could tell by his answer...just the defensiveness of his tone...that it's going to be the same story tonight when he starts drinking.
I'm at work right now and it's all I can do to keep it together. I didn't sleep last night and am dealing with withdrawal crap and I'm just super anxious bracing for whatever happens when he comes home tonight and I'm not there and he reads the letter...this is all a little too much and I'm really worried about my resolve to stay sober.
By the way day three...I need to see that and keep saying it to myself.
I don't want to drink today but right now I can't remember why I'm doing this.
Support would be greatly appreciated right now. Thanks.

you have taken a really brave step and very much done the right thing for you. day 3 is pretty rough but it will get better. try not to worry about what you cant control-his reaction. just get through today sober.

many congrats on day 3 :You_Rock_

Hi brynn…I am so glad to hear that you are doing ok. I know it gets hard around day 3 because the newness of sobriety starts to wear off and you are left facing an uncertain path. There are a lot of us who have been right where you are.

When I got stuck early on I reminded myself that this was where the rubber met the road…that change is uncomfortable. Anxiety is to be expected, anytime we change it is uncomfortable.

I heard once, in early sobriety if it feels like slipping into a warm bath it is probably not the right route. I will promise you that it gets easier, lots easier. And life gets better much better.

To me the grimmest place was drinking again after I knew I had a problem. I felt swallowed up by a void, just me and the bottle. The hour or so of a buzz wasn't worth 16 hours of misery.

Stay the course, you can do this. Don't worry about anything except putting one foot in front of the other for this week. You got this!

Brynn, I am so proud of you! You did something very difficult: it is very hard when we feel that we are doing something that upset our loved ones. However, you are doing something that you need to do in order to support your sobriety and yourself. Brava! I am sending you positive thoughts and energy...:grouphug:

Keep us posted won't you, let us know you're ok babe X

Brynn, you don't need that guy and you deserve so much better. Many of us have partners who do not understand alcoholism, but there's no need to be nasty about it to you. I'm really glad that you followed through and got out. You are taking care of yourself and that's the right thing to do at this point.

When I feel in a corner of sorts, I always think of the most extreme thing, like, "I have to leave FOREVER."

What if you say you need to "spend some time away and gather your thoughts about your own choices seeking sobriety". It has nothing to do with him, really, and you are not blaming him for anything, just taking care of yourself, and you don't know what
that looks like exactly.

Give yourself some room.

:You_Rock_

Before I quit, I had a bf living with me, and he seemed to be slowing his drinking. I remember saying to him, "I'll never quit and if you are quitting, there is going to be a problem here." I really did- what a shameful moment.

Please know that your SO's comments and actions have NOTHING to do with you, and everything to do with him. He wants to drink and not drink alone or have to think about his own situation. You must do what is right for YOU- if he is unsupportive and it is threatening your sobriety, get out. Do whatever you have to do to protect your sobriety. Early sobriety is hard enough without having an active saboteur in your life. I should know. I was one.

Y'all are amazing, thank you!
I'm still sober!
I went to the gym after work instead of happy hour. Feeling pretty darn proud right now!
He's blowing up my phone...I've texted him asking him to please give me a few days and then I'll get in touch with him...he is pissed and a little hurt....now I've just gotta stay away from him and try and ignore the need I have to make it all better for him.
I'm not going to drink today!

Good girl, brynn!!! That's how it happens. One victory at a time. Block him if you have to.

Hi Brynn

I hope you are doing better today. You are really doing the right thing.
Since you are now in a supportive and safe environment, I would suggest that you start formulating a recovery plan for yourself.
I go to AA and I like it. I would also highly recommend WFS in your case (if they have meeting nearby). They do have a site online with a forum too.
Some people also do SR with therapy etc. Anyway, look around SR and if you have not already done so, formulate a plan: it will really increase your chances of staying quit.
You showed us and more importantly yourself how strong and determined you truly are. You can do it :)

Exactly, the only person you can make things better for is you.
He certainly did not show any need to make things better for you when he was putting drinks under your nose or this morning when he told you you were on your own. It's his own alcoholism and selfishness at work: time for you to be a bit selfish too and take care of number one and nurture yourself.
He is a big boy, since he puts his bottle ahead of you he might as well enjoy the company.
Congratulations on day 3 :nyc

Brynn!! You have no idea how much you have encouraged me with what you have accomplished today. I don't know what I would have done in your shoes. Thank you for posting. You have given me the strength to finish day 3 and awake to day 4.

Brynn you need to do what's right for YOU. It's hard battling this alone, but without support from your partner it could be nearly impossible. He shouldn't be taunting you with drinks or putting words in your mouth. If he truly valued this relationship he wouldn't put you through this. He would put his drink down, dump out the booze and either not drink either or drink when you're not around if he absolutely has to. You're being really strong right now by doing this, and he's just not at that point yet and is probably resentful. I know how hard it is to leave someone you live with and whom you care for.. I had to do it with my ex of 7 years. I am not saying it will be the end, I am hoping he gets it together, but it was the best thing I ever did. Take care of yourself.. Surround yourself with positive people. Best of luck!

Way to go, Brynn! Resist the urge to try to comfort him. Turn off your phone. You will be doing both of you a favor. He needs to understand the error of his ways. If you cave in to his demands, he will never take you seriously again. He will think he has "won."

Good stuff. Stand tough,Stay strong. Keep the focus on you and your recovery.

I think you did the right thing for you.
Don't get sucked back in the alcoholic vortex. . .
You know, people can support others without changing who they are.
He was unwilling to even try that, and even worse was just trying to undermine your efforts.
That's nothing to build a future on.

You deserve to care for yourself--your life and sobriety are very important. :grouphug:

You are really courageous for taking that step. I think you will be glad you did. The first few days sober are filled with anxiety even in the best of circumstances. You will feel better and stronger soon. Keep taking care of yourself.