I'm sober tonight. But I think rock bottom is almost here. Maybe some advice
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: mountain states, Montana and Wyoming
Posts: 246
Polar Bear,
Just so you know, parents are from a different generation, regardless of their age. In the past I talked to my Dad about some serious problems I was having with mental illness, I got to the point I was bawling and shaking. When I was done he looked at me and asked me what I wanted for lunch!! Not a word about the problems I had, or the fact that I totally broke down in front of him for the first time in my life. "What do you want for lunch". It was that day I decided I would not talk about things that mattered to me with either of my parents.
Stay sober, get a job doing whatever you can and it will help with the depression. Look at the depression as not who you are, but something that is keeping you from being who you want to be. When you don't drink you are starving the depression, keep starving it and it will die.
Good luck.
Just so you know, parents are from a different generation, regardless of their age. In the past I talked to my Dad about some serious problems I was having with mental illness, I got to the point I was bawling and shaking. When I was done he looked at me and asked me what I wanted for lunch!! Not a word about the problems I had, or the fact that I totally broke down in front of him for the first time in my life. "What do you want for lunch". It was that day I decided I would not talk about things that mattered to me with either of my parents.
Stay sober, get a job doing whatever you can and it will help with the depression. Look at the depression as not who you are, but something that is keeping you from being who you want to be. When you don't drink you are starving the depression, keep starving it and it will die.
Good luck.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Our bottom is when we choose to quit digging.........
You might consider AA, many have found relief from the issues you detail in f2f support within the rooms......
Promises of working steps;
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them
Peace to you, friend
Glad you're here......Keep coming back!
You might consider AA, many have found relief from the issues you detail in f2f support within the rooms......
Promises of working steps;
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them
Peace to you, friend
Glad you're here......Keep coming back!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Apache Junction, AZ
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by herradura 
Polar Bear,
Just so you know, parents are from a different generation, regardless of their age.
Good luck.
Just so you know, parents are from a different generation, regardless of their age.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by herradura
Polar Bear,
Just so you know, parents are from a different generation, regardless of their age. In the past I talked to my Dad about some serious problems I was having with mental illness, I got to the point I was bawling and shaking. When I was done he looked at me and asked me what I wanted for lunch!! Not a word about the problems I had, or the fact that I totally broke down in front of him for the first time in my life. "What do you want for lunch". It was that day I decided I would not talk about things that mattered to me with either of my parents.
Stay sober, get a job doing whatever you can and it will help with the depression. Look at the depression as not who you are, but something that is keeping you from being who you want to be. When you don't drink you are starving the depression, keep starving it and it will die.
Good luck.
Just so you know, parents are from a different generation, regardless of their age. In the past I talked to my Dad about some serious problems I was having with mental illness, I got to the point I was bawling and shaking. When I was done he looked at me and asked me what I wanted for lunch!! Not a word about the problems I had, or the fact that I totally broke down in front of him for the first time in my life. "What do you want for lunch". It was that day I decided I would not talk about things that mattered to me with either of my parents.
Stay sober, get a job doing whatever you can and it will help with the depression. Look at the depression as not who you are, but something that is keeping you from being who you want to be. When you don't drink you are starving the depression, keep starving it and it will die.
Good luck.
I think that's what's going on with my mom. She's so into appearances and pretty sure she's narcissistic. Doesn't mean I don't love her. I just can't be open with her. I only remember her giving me hug twice in my adult life, and it was like she was forcing herself.
My dad is the complete opposite. I told him and some family members big secret recently (when I was drunk of course), and he's been so cool about it all.
You just never know about people until they see the real you.
But thanks so much to everyone again and gain. Everyone here is really insightful. Too bad I left for a couple months and started my bad habit again. I hope that was the last time. I just have to change my friends because they all drink. One far more than I ever did and he doesn't think he has a problem. Talked to him about it last time I quit and he was like "whatever". Doesn't see it at all. I can only be concerned fixing myself now I guess.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Have you tried AA? It's a wonderful program with wonderful people who truly care and know exactly how you feel because they were there. They can show you how to climb out of this. They will help you. We are not meant to do this stuff alone. I know I can't!
Good luck. One day at a time you can change your life.
Good luck. One day at a time you can change your life.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by PolarBlue
I'm starting on a few steps. Started working on getting his place cleaned up. I don't know how it got like this. I used to keep it spotless. It's not horder bad, but too many things.
I have a bunch of things to sell on ebay. I mean tons, things I wanted to keep. But I know it all must go. I used to be good at selling but have been in such a depression I find I have to force myself to do it now.
So, those are two steps. And staying sober of course. After that I'll have to try to fix the other things.
I have a bunch of things to sell on ebay. I mean tons, things I wanted to keep. But I know it all must go. I used to be good at selling but have been in such a depression I find I have to force myself to do it now.
So, those are two steps. And staying sober of course. After that I'll have to try to fix the other things.
If you focus on getting sober, and staying that way, the other issues will fall into place. Seriously. Read those promises Flynbuy posted.
Make your sobriety the MOST important, critical thing in your life. More important than cleaning up your place, more important than getting the new job. You don't need to ignore those things, but make them down the list from your recovery from alcoholism.
When I got sober I went to 90 meetings in 90 days. I spent way more time than that every day drinking, planning to drink, or recovering from drinking. I read recovery literature every day. I talked to other sober alcoholics. That kept my focus where it belonged. Six years later and I've never had the need to pick up another drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I am really sorry your mom could not offer you more support. It sounds like she hurt you very much. You have so much on your plate right now, you must sort out things in terms of priority. I would say dealing with your depression is paramount along with staying sober. I deal with depression and it's not pretty. I know how debilitating it is. Drinking make the depression worse, not better. As far as bankruptcy, if you don't have any assets that you want to keep, you can file Chapter 7 and discharge your unsecured debts (credit cards). Chapter 13 is a repayment program for people who have enough income to make payments for 3-5 years, If you have no income, you cannot do Chapter 13. This is for people who want to keep their secured debts like a house or car.
Once you get yourself in better place and space, then you can address your issues with your mother. For now I would stay in little contact with her and the step-dad.
Once you get yourself in better place and space, then you can address your issues with your mother. For now I would stay in little contact with her and the step-dad.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 177
Originally Posted by ArtFriend
I am really sorry your mom could not offer you more support. It sounds like she hurt you very much. You have so much on your plate right now, you must sort out things in terms of priority. I would say dealing with your depression is paramount along with staying sober. I deal with depression and it's not pretty. I know how debilitating it is. Drinking make the depression worse, not better. As far as bankruptcy, if you don't have any assets that you want to keep, you can file Chapter 7 and discharge your unsecured debts (credit cards). Chapter 13 is a repayment program for people who have enough income to make payments for 3-5 years, If you have no income, you cannot do Chapter 13. This is for people who want to keep their secured debts like a house or car.
Once you get yourself in better place and space, then you can address your issues with your mother. For now I would stay in little contact with her and the step-dad.
Once you get yourself in better place and space, then you can address your issues with your mother. For now I would stay in little contact with her and the step-dad.
I agree drinking makes the depression far worse. Been there a bunch of times with that. The last day I drank and especially the day after was crazy. I'm sure everyone can relate. I almost feel brain damaged right now and keep leaving out words when I type. I know that'll wear off but
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