my boyfriend is an alcoholic and im exhausted
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: fl
Posts: 63
His parents offered for him to go to rehab. But he's been several times before and they've spent a lot of $ already. Over the summer there were three times he seriously considered going. He would cry and say that the reason he didn't want to was bc he was scared of losing me. I assured him there was no way that was happening. Now I dont believe that was why. It's embarrassing how gullible I am.
I have fantasies that he'll go to a 30+ day program and then run and find me and we'll never look back. Pathetic.
I have fantasies that he'll go to a 30+ day program and then run and find me and we'll never look back. Pathetic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: fl
Posts: 63
His parents offered for him to go to rehab. But he's been several times before and they've spent a lot of $ already. Over the summer there were three times he seriously considered going. He would cry and say that the reason he didn't want to was bc he was scared of losing me. I assured him there was no way that was happening. Now I dont believe that was why. It's embarrassing how gullible I am.
I have fantasies that he'll go to a 30+ day program and then run and find me and we'll never look back. Pathetic.
I have fantasies that he'll go to a 30+ day program and then run and find me and we'll never look back. Pathetic.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Why don't you go to some meetings yourself? If you drink, try AA. Al Anon is for friends and families, so go to both. I think you would benefit from the support of some face to face people, as well as using this site.
You weren't pathetic, you just hoped that love would conquer all. It's a tough thing to learn that we can't love them sober.
If the parents cut him off totally, that might do it. Might not.
((hug))
You weren't pathetic, you just hoped that love would conquer all. It's a tough thing to learn that we can't love them sober.
If the parents cut him off totally, that might do it. Might not.
((hug))
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi waggin.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been there in the past... similar regarding alcoholic bf in denial, myself also drinking heavily and struggling with anxiety and depression. Of course it wasn't like that in the beginning when we started, I thought it was going to be the most mind-blowing, perfect relationship I'd ever had. Maybe it was within the context of our circumstances. But it became also extremely destructive...
I totally understand the feelings you've expressed in the last posts. I advise you to stick with your decision though because it is true that nothing will ever be better unless the drinking is out of the picture. In my story, it was both of us really messed up... but I was the one much more aware of it and desiring change. I left him in the end, but made the big mistake to continue drinking... and then reconnected with him a few times. These "relapses" (into the relationship and all the emotional impact of it) did not provide anything progressive whatsoever, it was running in a circle and my drinking just got worse, too. I really suggest that you stay away from him and if you want, give him another chance only when he has been sober and working on his recovery seriously for a while. Unfortunately, we don't always love the people who are good for us.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been there in the past... similar regarding alcoholic bf in denial, myself also drinking heavily and struggling with anxiety and depression. Of course it wasn't like that in the beginning when we started, I thought it was going to be the most mind-blowing, perfect relationship I'd ever had. Maybe it was within the context of our circumstances. But it became also extremely destructive...
I totally understand the feelings you've expressed in the last posts. I advise you to stick with your decision though because it is true that nothing will ever be better unless the drinking is out of the picture. In my story, it was both of us really messed up... but I was the one much more aware of it and desiring change. I left him in the end, but made the big mistake to continue drinking... and then reconnected with him a few times. These "relapses" (into the relationship and all the emotional impact of it) did not provide anything progressive whatsoever, it was running in a circle and my drinking just got worse, too. I really suggest that you stay away from him and if you want, give him another chance only when he has been sober and working on his recovery seriously for a while. Unfortunately, we don't always love the people who are good for us.
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