MsSola

What do you guys do to destress or get out of your funk?

My counselor keeps telling me to meditate, which I am trying but he really isn't giving me any alternative strategies.
When I get super stressed out I need to think of different ways to pull myself out of it. When I'm moderately stressed, I exercise, journal (just started up again) etc. but when I'm very stressed I fall apart. Then I feel guilty, get blinders on and drink. This happened yesterday (I just restarted my clock too..) and today I took a day off to get my life back in order.

I called my counselor when I felt cravings and knew I was getting stressed and I asked for resources, but he never called me back. I'm seeing him tomorrow for our regular meeting. I'm also bipolar so it makes me even more sad that he never called me back..what if something happened?

I digress.. any suggestions?

Nonsensical

Something, somewhere needs demolition.

Soberpotamus

Nons... ha!!

When I'm stressed, I have to mentally "rein" things in. I do sort of an inventory of what's all jumbled in my heart and mind, and sort of prioritize things, get rid of what I can, deal with what I can right then, and gain some new perspective on the things I can't change right away, or at all.

I too meditate, but I've yet to be able to sit down in the midst of mental or emotional chaos and just meditate it all away Guess it doesn't work like that.

Talking it out with my husband sometimes helps, and sometimes it doesn't! Really depends on what it is.

Posting about things on SR helps too, a lot. Even if it's just mentioning briefly something on my mind in the gratitude threads or elsewhere. I also have a few pals on here I PM on occasion.

Therapy can help if you have a good relationship with your therapist. I've found it can be really hard to "click" with someone and find a truly sustainable situation.

Often I'll make a cup of tea nowadays, and just sit down to type things out, write things down, and sometimes pacing around the room thinking hard works wonders I'm a pacer, and talking out loud to myself actually can help me get a grip.

Just some ideas for you...

Now, as for specific techniques that worked when I was still craving... mindfulness and urge surfing, playing the tape through, distraction, substitution. All of these worked very well for me.

MsSola

Thanks for the response SoberJennie!

Hahahaha talking to my SO sometimes helps and sometimes doesn't. He's super sweet but 1. I don't want him to worry and 2. sometimes it's just better that we don't talk about it.

I'm going to post on SR more often! I just found the chat and it was very helpful.. I don't feel so alone in this journey.

What are urge surfing and playing the tape through?

strategery

Working out always helps me, especially something strenuous.

grubby

Lots of stuff really. The obvious stuff includes deep breathing, exercise, counseling, etc. Escapism works well too, if you can find something else to direct your attention to.

But if you are feeling lazy i recommend plain old chamomile tea.

One cup is a bit weak for me, but 2 cups seems to be the sweet spot if stress is particularly high on a certain day. Have a small cup or two and give it a few hours, you WILL feel relaxed and a lot calmer i wouldn't recommend this during the day however, it does cause mild sleepiness.

for some strange reason i also feel much more "aware" after my nightly cup, not sure what that's about, but i ain't complaining.

Nuudawn

Your post reminds me of something my old counsellor said to me once...

"you have to find new, healthier ways to throw a tantrum".

I'm still working on that myself. I too have been working on the meditation thing but it's been sporadic at best lately. And like Jennie says..I have not been able to sit myself down at do it in the middle of a "storm".

I have just put exercise back into my plan as I know I have all sorts of excess toxic crud I need to shake off.

For me, I know I have to work on not letting myself get to the point I have let myself get to lately ..but ah well.

I have been really trying to do work on breath work a lot lately...

Balance is so very key. Journalling is great ..as you say...
And like Nons says...breaking stuff...ya, I think there's something to that do.

We need to get rid of the excess energy...I know that now. Late...but finally.

matilda123

I agree with Nuudawn's therapist: finding healthier ways seems key. Exercise or hiking with my dogs or riding my horse really helps. Not working myself to exhaustion helps too (a major "excuse" for me in the past to drink as a "reward" for working hard or to turn off). Treating myself helps too. Mondays are horrible at work due to a lot of meetings with difficult folks. My new routine is to buy myself flowers for my office and a fabulous lunch for Mondays and a great coffee to take with me on the road. I try to always have something in the crockpot on those days too so that I can just come home and relax. And, if I don't want to do anything but flop after my Mondays, I give myself permission to do that. Balance, as Nuudawn noted, is key, as is taking good care of ourselves.

Nuudawn

Thank you for posting this Matilda. I really needed to read that today. Neglecting ourselves...our "care"...is dangerous business.
Lightbulb.

matilda123

That "light" has only recently turned on for me, Nuudawn. Why is it so much easier for some of us to care for others than to care for ourselves?

MsSola

This is a great quote! I wrote it down so I can look at it later when I'm feeling stressed. Thank you so much for the responses! I really like the idea about self-care. I'm in a helping profession where we speak about self-care all of the time, yet I still feel guilty resting etc instead of work. I need to take some time off for me.. I notice when I don't do that, I begin to stress and spiral

ArtFriend

There is a place here in Dallas called the Anger Room. You can rent a room and smash the hell out things in it.

Anger Room – Relieve Stress & Anxiety |

Soberwolf

Playing the mental tape is an awesome tool just play out the tape untill your it all goes wrong it helped me out big time in the early days

Urge surfing http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

cravings http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Soberpotamus

Playing the tape through is where you imagine the entire scenario of what typically happens when you drink... play it through all the way to the end in gory detail

Urge Surfing: Urge Surfing – Relapse Prevention – Mindfulness