Step Four Status Report...
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Step Four Status Report...
Step four.
The workbook has sat in a pile of other papers for a couple of weeks. I read through it a couple times. It floats through my awareness. Events, memories, thoughts of what is to be written down come to me.
I go to meetings.
I read the book.
I think a lot about things and I spend time talking about some of it. In meetings. With my counselor.
But no pen to paper yet.
It's a scary thing. It's an unpleasant task. I don't want to look in that mirror so clearly.
Oh, but I will.... I am on that path... I am 'working this step', though it's not down in black and white yet.
The workbook has sat in a pile of other papers for a couple of weeks. I read through it a couple times. It floats through my awareness. Events, memories, thoughts of what is to be written down come to me.
I go to meetings.
I read the book.
I think a lot about things and I spend time talking about some of it. In meetings. With my counselor.
But no pen to paper yet.
It's a scary thing. It's an unpleasant task. I don't want to look in that mirror so clearly.
Oh, but I will.... I am on that path... I am 'working this step', though it's not down in black and white yet.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
It can be difficult. I put mine off by redoing the entire worksheet. The printing was bad and it was sort of cocked on the page so I got out Excel and made a new one! I wanted an “A”!
After messing with that I started the sheet and it took me forever because I did it across the page rather than down as a list.
If I can make a suggestion, do the list method. It is what the book says to do, it what my sponsor told me to do but I had to do it MY way! Don’t do it my way..LOL
After messing with that I started the sheet and it took me forever because I did it across the page rather than down as a list.
If I can make a suggestion, do the list method. It is what the book says to do, it what my sponsor told me to do but I had to do it MY way! Don’t do it my way..LOL
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
lol.... I'm doing it the way my sponsor told me to.
He has given me two workbooks, one that goes a lot deeper than the other. It's something he used for many years as a rehab counselor at a hospital.
I'm not gonna do things 'My way' - gonna follow the instructions of a guy who has helped many, many others before me with a method that has been proven to work.
I figure there will be plenty of other things I can do "my way" in life....
He has given me two workbooks, one that goes a lot deeper than the other. It's something he used for many years as a rehab counselor at a hospital.
I'm not gonna do things 'My way' - gonna follow the instructions of a guy who has helped many, many others before me with a method that has been proven to work.
I figure there will be plenty of other things I can do "my way" in life....
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
FreeOwl, I didn't use AA, but I did go through the process you are speaking of. I had to write things out because the shame/guilt/negativity just wouldn't leave me. But, I dreaded the thought of writing the words and seeing them on paper. The good news is, once I started things just flowed. And, I could literally feel the pressure leaving me as I continued to write.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Thanks Anna....
I think as with any impending deadline.... where I am is in that process of "preparing and percolating". I'm sure there will be much that comes forth and just flows... but also it feels like there is this building, building, building....
As though ever since Step 1, my Step 4 has been getting ever closer, ever more clear.
I think as with any impending deadline.... where I am is in that process of "preparing and percolating". I'm sure there will be much that comes forth and just flows... but also it feels like there is this building, building, building....
As though ever since Step 1, my Step 4 has been getting ever closer, ever more clear.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
In my case the first one I did was scary so I procrastinated as usual until I was convinced that I was doing it for my benefit alone. I started it and it became many moments of enlightenment. It’s one of the best things I’ve done with the exception of stopping drinking.
Afterward I examined my fear about doing it and I think the fear of doing 5 was foremost in my mind.
For me the fourth is the glue that holds my sobriety together.
BE WELL
In my case the first one I did was scary so I procrastinated as usual until I was convinced that I was doing it for my benefit alone. I started it and it became many moments of enlightenment. It’s one of the best things I’ve done with the exception of stopping drinking.
Afterward I examined my fear about doing it and I think the fear of doing 5 was foremost in my mind.
For me the fourth is the glue that holds my sobriety together.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,902
Step 4 can be hard.
Just put something, anything on paper and call that draft #1. In a couple of days look at it, change stuff, add stuff, cross stuff out. Call that draft #2. Keep doing that until you get something you feel like you can show your sponsor. It might take 20 revisions.
Your sponsor is the only person that is ever going to see it, and he's not going to keep a copy. When you are through with it, take it home and shred it or burn it. (I know of a guy who didn't do that and a few months later his wife found his step 4 work and read it. That was not good).
Just put something, anything on paper and call that draft #1. In a couple of days look at it, change stuff, add stuff, cross stuff out. Call that draft #2. Keep doing that until you get something you feel like you can show your sponsor. It might take 20 revisions.
Your sponsor is the only person that is ever going to see it, and he's not going to keep a copy. When you are through with it, take it home and shred it or burn it. (I know of a guy who didn't do that and a few months later his wife found his step 4 work and read it. That was not good).
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier softer way but we could not.With all the earnestness at our command we BEG of you to be fearless and thorough from the verynstat.Some of us had TRIED to hold onto our old ideas and the result was NIL until we LET GO ABSOLUTELY.
Ive heard many people say they got to the fourth step, balked, delayed, tried to jump over to the sixth step,etc and ended up drunk.
Ive heard many people say they got to the fourth step, balked, delayed, tried to jump over to the sixth step,etc and ended up drunk.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
the only way to get through this is to put pen to paper and DO It. Then get past step 5 through to 7.
Don't let that stuff sit in your head very long, get past 5. Sitting in step 4, even in your mind, will make ya drink again. We must get past it.
Don't let that stuff sit in your head very long, get past 5. Sitting in step 4, even in your mind, will make ya drink again. We must get past it.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Hawks 
"any lengths "
"into action"
"Faith without works "
Any of these sound like you?
"into action"
"Faith without works "
Any of these sound like you?
I've been putting it into action and doing the hard work since day one. I'm following this path with commitment and thoroughness.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I appreciate what you're offering.... But I also can say that for me, being fearless and thorough is also about not rushing through.
In my work with my sponsor and counselor, I am peeling back the onion on a long life of hazy memories. In just the past month, more things have emerged from my repressed and hazy past that I hadn't even remembered.
This was kind of how my Step one went too. I dug deep and took my time on each question, and the result was well worth it.
I don't want to leave anything remaining in the dusty corners to come back and bite me later.
In my work with my sponsor and counselor, I am peeling back the onion on a long life of hazy memories. In just the past month, more things have emerged from my repressed and hazy past that I hadn't even remembered.
This was kind of how my Step one went too. I dug deep and took my time on each question, and the result was well worth it.
I don't want to leave anything remaining in the dusty corners to come back and bite me later.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Hawks
The instructions say...
"at once"
I went with the founders advice.
Worked beautifully.
"at once"
I went with the founders advice.
Worked beautifully.
So far, the steps have been working beautifully for me as well.
I believe in them and am finding some pretty incredible results. My sponsor says I'm on track.
Will continue to share my experience as I go and I appreciate hearing that of others because I always learn from another's perspective.
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