I'm not giving it up...
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
End Game covered a lot of the points I was going to raise.
It's not a bad thing - but I think you may have a misconceived view of recovery.
I'm not struggling, I'm not living in fear, I'm not ground down by a label.
I've been in prison (figuratively) thanks to alcoholism...recovery is the opposite of that, it's freedom.
Why would anyone do it if it wasn't?
D
Originally Posted by philly76 View Post
I don't want booze to have power over me after I stop drinking. What would be the point?
I don't want to be dragged down into the aftermath of alcoholism: coping for the rest of my life. I want to find a place above it.
How on earth is that a bad thing?
I don't want booze to have power over me after I stop drinking. What would be the point?
I don't want to be dragged down into the aftermath of alcoholism: coping for the rest of my life. I want to find a place above it.
How on earth is that a bad thing?
I'm not struggling, I'm not living in fear, I'm not ground down by a label.
I've been in prison (figuratively) thanks to alcoholism...recovery is the opposite of that, it's freedom.
Why would anyone do it if it wasn't?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 12-05-2014 at 03:23 PM.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Nuudawn 
I'm starting to think the entire OP went over my head.....
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I removed a few posts.
Let's all take a deep breath guys.
The ignore function is great for threads that get up your nose.
Dee
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SR
Let's all take a deep breath guys.
The ignore function is great for threads that get up your nose.
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No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
You're not "giving something up." You're gaining something, acquiring something, giving yourself the most precious thing of all- sobriety. You're acquiring freedom from chemical slavery. A slave does not "give up" his or her chains, on gaining freedom. "Free at last! Thank God Almighty! I'm free at last!" (Martin Luther King)
W.
W.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
You're not "giving something up." You're gaining something, acquiring something, giving yourself the most precious thing of all- sobriety. You're acquiring freedom from chemical slavery. A slave does not "give up" his or her chains, on gaining freedom. "Free at last! Thank God Almighty! I'm free at last!" (Martin Luther King)
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
philly,
when i got sober years ago, i felt just as you describe. the reason i hadn't been able to quit before for any length of time had been weakness. so i was simply going to now be stronger, much stronger (i brushed away the fact that i was plenty "strong" in other areas in my life; i brushed away the fact that i already knew that all my strong full-on tries had come to naught), more determined, more rational, and would simply refuse to be sucked back into drinking by some kind of character weakness.
this was gonna take about six months, i figured when i joined a recovery forum.
in the process of going through the months, chatting with others, becoming more willing and able to hear and see my own experience as it had actually been, and hear others' experiences and find many similarities...i ran smack-dab into what you might mean by aftermath.
i found out stuff about myself that wasn't too pleasant. things i will need to "cope" with for the rest of my life. nothing debilitating, but stuff that requires an awareness.
needless to say, when i started understanding myself a bit better and accepting that there WAS aftermath, the six-months time frame went by the wayside.
there IS no timeframe.
i'm sober, i'm basically okay in my life, i enjoy participating in places like this, i'm mostly at peace.
the 'aftermath' is a life more consciously lived. and more examined but less tortured. much less tortured.
none of that may turn out to be so for you, but just giving you a heads up to stay open-minded to what you'll find out.
when i got sober years ago, i felt just as you describe. the reason i hadn't been able to quit before for any length of time had been weakness. so i was simply going to now be stronger, much stronger (i brushed away the fact that i was plenty "strong" in other areas in my life; i brushed away the fact that i already knew that all my strong full-on tries had come to naught), more determined, more rational, and would simply refuse to be sucked back into drinking by some kind of character weakness.
this was gonna take about six months, i figured when i joined a recovery forum.
in the process of going through the months, chatting with others, becoming more willing and able to hear and see my own experience as it had actually been, and hear others' experiences and find many similarities...i ran smack-dab into what you might mean by aftermath.
i found out stuff about myself that wasn't too pleasant. things i will need to "cope" with for the rest of my life. nothing debilitating, but stuff that requires an awareness.
needless to say, when i started understanding myself a bit better and accepting that there WAS aftermath, the six-months time frame went by the wayside.
there IS no timeframe.
i'm sober, i'm basically okay in my life, i enjoy participating in places like this, i'm mostly at peace.
the 'aftermath' is a life more consciously lived. and more examined but less tortured. much less tortured.
none of that may turn out to be so for you, but just giving you a heads up to stay open-minded to what you'll find out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 179
My headline may have been a bit misleading and my tongue-in-cheek post might have been a bit of a rant. But I'm here for a reason. I really feel for people. Some people have gotten into drugs, some have DUIs, some worse. Some people chose booze to cope with depression or anxiety. I'm glad that's not me and I feel for those dealing with that. I can't even imagine.
Honestly, I didn't come here because I was bored. I came here because I don't want to hit rock bottom. But some people seem to imply that it's impossible to quit drinking until you do. I'm not going to accept that.
Honestly, I didn't come here because I was bored. I came here because I don't want to hit rock bottom. But some people seem to imply that it's impossible to quit drinking until you do. I'm not going to accept that.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I think a lot of people, even here, think rock bottom needs to be an event. It needn't be..it's just a decision that you're done...completely totally and absolutely done with addiction and self destruction.
I didn't reach that point until I'd nearly lost everything including my life...but, knowing what it took to stay sober, and looking back now I see very clearly that I could have made the decision earlier.
We can stop the downward elevator any time we like
D
I didn't reach that point until I'd nearly lost everything including my life...but, knowing what it took to stay sober, and looking back now I see very clearly that I could have made the decision earlier.
We can stop the downward elevator any time we like
D
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
If I'm reading your post correctly I had a similar epiphany on my journey. I quit drinking many times. It never stuck because the sensation of giving something up was always nagging at the back of my mind.
It wasn't until I made the decision to start living sober that things fell into place for me. I have a better life now and alcohol is not going to steal it from me.
It wasn't until I made the decision to start living sober that things fell into place for me. I have a better life now and alcohol is not going to steal it from me.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
It's fairly common for people to believe their personal experience is universal. Many people with alcohol problems received a horrific wake-up call that finally made them face that problem.
It absolutely doesn't HAVE to be that way. You made the choice to pursue a sober life. The only thing that can prevent you from executing that plan is YOU.
It absolutely doesn't HAVE to be that way. You made the choice to pursue a sober life. The only thing that can prevent you from executing that plan is YOU.
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Hi philly76
I was very much like you, when I first arrived here. Let me save you some "war effort", by imparting some of my wisdom, which you can accept as a free gift from a fellow human being or discard at your whim.
About 18 months ago, I became very depressed, I put this down to drinking heavily and told myself I was an alcoholic. I joined SR and vowed over and over and a few more times over, not to drink again. I told myself I wasnt an addict and that my will would defeat this drinking.
The martial art of Akido, uses the strength of an opponent against them. Your AV is a master of this, a master of Akido.
It will allow you, as mine did to quit drinking. It will then let you stay sober enough and long enought to say "See your not, an alcoholic, you can quit anytime you want. Now treat yourself with a drink, your normal. Nothing to worry about".
Before long, your hitting the bottle harder than before, making it even more difficult to give up the next time. Over and over you do this, each time feeling like a failure.
This approach failed miserably for me, i really and genuinely wanted to stop drinking, but brute force only wins out for so long, then you get worn down and finally defeated.
The approach I took, was to "stop fighting the cravings". I had to listen to them and say, everything your telling me, is right. But I am never drinking again. See you again in 10 minutes. A give out a laugh.
Again you get another craving, allow it to speak, convince you its right. You should have a drink, you are normal. The give out a laugh and say, I told you I am never drinking again. See you in 10 minutes.
Over time the duration between "logical thoughts" gets longer, dont try to battle with it, only say to it, I am never drinking again, theres no where for it to back at you.
Taking things a day at a time, means eveyday, you must do battle. In a year thats 365 battles a year and your AV only has to win 1 battle to win the war.
By saying to yourself, never again. You do not have to live day by day.
I was very much like you, when I first arrived here. Let me save you some "war effort", by imparting some of my wisdom, which you can accept as a free gift from a fellow human being or discard at your whim.
About 18 months ago, I became very depressed, I put this down to drinking heavily and told myself I was an alcoholic. I joined SR and vowed over and over and a few more times over, not to drink again. I told myself I wasnt an addict and that my will would defeat this drinking.
The martial art of Akido, uses the strength of an opponent against them. Your AV is a master of this, a master of Akido.
It will allow you, as mine did to quit drinking. It will then let you stay sober enough and long enought to say "See your not, an alcoholic, you can quit anytime you want. Now treat yourself with a drink, your normal. Nothing to worry about".
Before long, your hitting the bottle harder than before, making it even more difficult to give up the next time. Over and over you do this, each time feeling like a failure.
This approach failed miserably for me, i really and genuinely wanted to stop drinking, but brute force only wins out for so long, then you get worn down and finally defeated.
The approach I took, was to "stop fighting the cravings". I had to listen to them and say, everything your telling me, is right. But I am never drinking again. See you again in 10 minutes. A give out a laugh.
Again you get another craving, allow it to speak, convince you its right. You should have a drink, you are normal. The give out a laugh and say, I told you I am never drinking again. See you in 10 minutes.
Over time the duration between "logical thoughts" gets longer, dont try to battle with it, only say to it, I am never drinking again, theres no where for it to back at you.
Taking things a day at a time, means eveyday, you must do battle. In a year thats 365 battles a year and your AV only has to win 1 battle to win the war.
By saying to yourself, never again. You do not have to live day by day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by autan
Hi philly76
I was very much like you, when I first arrived here. Let me save you some "war effort", by imparting some of my wisdom, which you can accept as a free gift from a fellow human being or discard at your whim.
About 18 months ago, I became very depressed, I put this down to drinking heavily and told myself I was an alcoholic. I joined SR and vowed over and over and a few more times over, not to drink again. I told myself I wasnt an addict and that my will would defeat this drinking.
The martial art of Akido, uses the strength of an opponent against them. Your AV is a master of this, a master of Akido.
It will allow you, as mine did to quit drinking. It will then let you stay sober enough and long enought to say "See your not, an alcoholic, you can quit anytime you want. Now treat yourself with a drink, your normal. Nothing to worry about".
Before long, your hitting the bottle harder than before, making it even more difficult to give up the next time. Over and over you do this, each time feeling like a failure.
This approach failed miserably for me, i really and genuinely wanted to stop drinking, but brute force only wins out for so long, then you get worn down and finally defeated.
The approach I took, was to "stop fighting the cravings". I had to listen to them and say, everything your telling me, is right. But I am never drinking again. See you again in 10 minutes. A give out a laugh.
Again you get another craving, allow it to speak, convince you its right. You should have a drink, you are normal. The give out a laugh and say, I told you I am never drinking again. See you in 10 minutes.
Over time the duration between "logical thoughts" gets longer, dont try to battle with it, only say to it, I am never drinking again, theres no where for it to back at you.
Taking things a day at a time, means eveyday, you must do battle. In a year thats 365 battles a year and your AV only has to win 1 battle to win the war.
By saying to yourself, never again. You do not have to live day by day.
I was very much like you, when I first arrived here. Let me save you some "war effort", by imparting some of my wisdom, which you can accept as a free gift from a fellow human being or discard at your whim.
About 18 months ago, I became very depressed, I put this down to drinking heavily and told myself I was an alcoholic. I joined SR and vowed over and over and a few more times over, not to drink again. I told myself I wasnt an addict and that my will would defeat this drinking.
The martial art of Akido, uses the strength of an opponent against them. Your AV is a master of this, a master of Akido.
It will allow you, as mine did to quit drinking. It will then let you stay sober enough and long enought to say "See your not, an alcoholic, you can quit anytime you want. Now treat yourself with a drink, your normal. Nothing to worry about".
Before long, your hitting the bottle harder than before, making it even more difficult to give up the next time. Over and over you do this, each time feeling like a failure.
This approach failed miserably for me, i really and genuinely wanted to stop drinking, but brute force only wins out for so long, then you get worn down and finally defeated.
The approach I took, was to "stop fighting the cravings". I had to listen to them and say, everything your telling me, is right. But I am never drinking again. See you again in 10 minutes. A give out a laugh.
Again you get another craving, allow it to speak, convince you its right. You should have a drink, you are normal. The give out a laugh and say, I told you I am never drinking again. See you in 10 minutes.
Over time the duration between "logical thoughts" gets longer, dont try to battle with it, only say to it, I am never drinking again, theres no where for it to back at you.
Taking things a day at a time, means eveyday, you must do battle. In a year thats 365 battles a year and your AV only has to win 1 battle to win the war.
By saying to yourself, never again. You do not have to live day by day.
I'm quickly getting more and more addicted to the gym, which I think is a good thing, and at times even cuts into whether I decide to drink the night before: Can I really max out tomorrow if I drink and smoke tonight?
If I'm saddled with an addictive personality, the gym is the kind of addiction I want. I love hitting a heavy bag more than any bottle of Jack Daniels.
Alcohol has always been social for me. A way to pass the time, to kill boredom. I'm meeting more and more people at the gym, people who exercise often and don't drink much, or at all. It's helping.
It's not new. When I was 16 I was biking 30 miles a day. But somewhere between 25 and 35 I got off track and started drinking too much, to the point that it became a problem. I know I can get over it, get back to what I had going for me, and that's what I want. Sober, yes. But not thinking of myself as sober, but as a ridiculously fit bad *** who just doesn't happen to drink.
My end goal isn't any different than someone in AA. I just don't want to deal with booze every day, I want to be climbing a freakin' salmon ladder. I want to punch booze square in the jaw and knock it out.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hey Philly...
In your response to Autan you address the fact that you have "addictive tendencies" and that you wish to replace the destructive addictions with healthy ones (e.g. working out). Is your plan to gradually phase out alcohol as you amp up your gym disciplines? Or..are you going to make a commitment to abstain?
In your response to Autan you address the fact that you have "addictive tendencies" and that you wish to replace the destructive addictions with healthy ones (e.g. working out). Is your plan to gradually phase out alcohol as you amp up your gym disciplines? Or..are you going to make a commitment to abstain?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Hey Philly...
In your response to Autan you address the fact that you have "addictive tendencies" and that you wish to replace the destructive addictions with healthy ones (e.g. working out). Is your plan to gradually phase out alcohol as you amp up your gym disciplines? Or..are you going to make a commitment to abstain?
In your response to Autan you address the fact that you have "addictive tendencies" and that you wish to replace the destructive addictions with healthy ones (e.g. working out). Is your plan to gradually phase out alcohol as you amp up your gym disciplines? Or..are you going to make a commitment to abstain?
I could probably scale back to drinking on the weekends, maybe even just Saturday night. But what would be the point, at least for me? By the time the weekend rolls around I'd be so jonesin' for a drink I'd end up getting plastered.
I know I am giving something up (or will be), but I'd prefer to think of it as gaining a clearer mind and better health.
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